To think that too many people are in denial that they should not drive?

[Onomatofear]

I hear about countless examples of elderly people or people with health problems getting behind the wheel of a car when they shouldn't be. Why do they do it?

I remember my dh's granddad doing it. Now it's my dad. He's 78 and can barely walk without falling over and he refuses to accept that he shouldn't be on the road. About 6 months ago, he accidentally drove over a pedestrian island thinking it was an actual road. I pointed out to my mum that him being old wouldn't count as a defence. She still gets in the car with him(!)

And before you say why don't I report him, it's easy to say but I've reported someone before for the same sort of thing and he figured out it was me and went mad at me. It's even more difficult to report your own parent.

Because they don’t want to give up their independence. Not defensible, but that’s the reason.

YANBU with your thread title.

But I don't think your reason for not reporting him is valid. He could kill someone, and you won't say anything because he'll be cross?

I reported my Dad. I didn't care if he found out it was me - his poor sight and failing cognitive function (he was 87) made him a danger to others and himself. He lost his licence to the relief of the whole family.

He decided it was the eye clinic who reported him and we all agreed with this notion.

My partner's uncle (78ish) can't recognise me at 5 metres in Tesco but he's often to spotted driving (admittedly very slowly) around our town. Lethal. He's diabetic with failing eyesight. There was some Covid-related reason for his mandatory eye exam to be skipped a few times. I guess that could catch him out soon.

Our police set up a roadblock/pull in the other week in our small town. Pulled in drivers made them all do a number plate reading test. Three failed and have lost their licenses.

I agree with this. Have been there. Had to take my Dad’s keys from him. He was in his 80s, very ill, and very weak. It was heartbreaking. BUT imagine the heartbreak of the aftermath of an accident.

My MIL also went on way too long, and I wish I had reported her. No accidents thankfully, but that was pure luck.

Report him.

"Eye test enforcement by North Wales Police divides opinion: Essential for road safety or misplaced priority? | North Wales Live - North Wales Live" https://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/im-specsavers-your-view-police-29382071.amp

Out of a hundred plus drivers pulled in 3 failed the eyesight test and were taken home.

It's caused a bit of a kerfuffle in our retirement area

I know it’s tough but how would you feel if he had an accident and someone was hurt / killed ? My siblings and I reported our DD as he was obviously unsafe. Very stressful and he felt hurt at the time but now realises the damage he could have done and is actually grateful we did it.

It’s tough as it feels like their independence is being taken away but they could get their Liberty taken away if they cause a bad accident.

The solution would be if it became law that everyone needs to take an assessment at say 75 and every 3 -5 years after to ensure they remain fit to drive

My brother and I wanted my dad to give up driving, and I think he probably would have done as I think it was worrying him, but it was my mum that dug her heels in and insisted he was fine and refused to discuss it.

Then she told us he went the wrong way on a roundabout and went down the exit slip lane of a motorway and had to do a three point turn which scared her, and then got lost about a mile from home on the way back.

Thankfully she told us about those two incidents straightaway, and came round to our way of thinking and my brother arranged for the car to be sold a day or so later. They got a reasonable price for it and we went through the figures and showed them that with the money they got for the sale for the car, the savings in fuel, road tax insurance, MOT and servicing, they had a decent sized taxi fund.

It was loss of independence and not wanting to admit that my dad was showing signs of dementia that was at the root of my mum's refusal to engage.

It's was a scary time and my brother and I had actually decided to report him the after the weekend, so we were relieved it ended with mutual agreement rather than being enforced.

If your dad found out it was you would he have disinherited you? Because that's what will happen to me. And I'm disabled and have disabled children.

And reporting someone and making them lose their license is not always enough to stop them driving.

Thankfully when my dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia he acknowledged that his driving days were over and he sold his car to my step brother (he had had a TIA previously and hadn't driven since it). He still had hopes of reviving his private pilot licence though as the dementia took over.
DM had a neighbour many years ago who had cataract surgery and after she had had it told DM that it was great that she could now see as well as all the other drivers on the road.

The solution would be if it became law that everyone needs to take an assessment at say 75 and every 3 -5 years after to ensure they remain fit to drive

I agree.

Precisely

I met someone who was seriously injured and her daughter killed by an elderly driver. Didn't see they were on a crossing, ploughed through them and carried on driving with the scooter still stuck under the car, only stopped when another car drove in front of him then he had to. Hadn't noticed a thing. He wasn't safe to drive and may have also had family members wishing he would stop but didn't do anything.

I've long held the opinion that driving licences should only be valid for a maximum of 10 years, after which you need to retake your test. Plus, a mandatory eyesight test every 12 months.

A few months ago, a car turning right onto a busy road in our town mounted the pavement and ploughed into a shop. Thankfully, the shop was closed and there was no one waiting at the bus stop he whizzed past. The car was relatively new and the air bags deployed, so the driver was OK too. Apparently, the brakes didn't work. The driver was 92. It could have been considerably worse as this happened less than an hour before the nearby primary turns out.

My grandad stopped driving a few years ago, when he scored so badly on an eye test his results weren't even on the charts... He kept his car though, so relatives can drive him around if need be.

In Wales aged 70 you have to renew your licence every three years. Is this not the case in England?

Take his keys off him. Report him to the dvla. Would you rather he kill someone. As a road death investigator I saw many old people kill or maim other road users because they shouldn’t be driving. Take action before he wipes someone out.

I think you do, but just tick the boxes and off you go!

If he’ll disinherit you then ask someone else to report him and tell him it was them, perhaps there’s a neighbour or cousin or friend of the family that would take the fall for you?

Anyone who knows anyone no longer capable of driving should report them immediately, if they won't listen to reason. My MIL drove us to a family wedding about 10 years ago and we were horrified by her driving. DH had a discussion with her and she gave up her licence because she could see she was unsafe. If the person won't do that, they need to be reported.

I also think that EVERYONE should have to take a test every ~10 years. I know it will never happen as it wouldn't make politicians popular, but my God, the standard of driving is horrendous sometimes.. no-one's perfect but some are highly dangerous.

I asked the optician if I was still ok to drive without wearing glasses.

Yes, just in the legal limit"

Why the hell has they not already said "you're borderline for driving so start wearing them"

I think 75 is too late to start mandatory retesting, more like 55 or even every 5-10 years for everyone.

How does anyone know when they aren't competent anymore and some people never seem to get competent. With the new hazard perception tests that would weed out a fair few folk.

You just have to self declare you're fit to drive I believe!

Absolutely this!