To think that too many people are in denial that they should not drive?

[Onomatofear]

I hear about countless examples of elderly people or people with health problems getting behind the wheel of a car when they shouldn't be. Why do they do it?

I remember my dh's granddad doing it. Now it's my dad. He's 78 and can barely walk without falling over and he refuses to accept that he shouldn't be on the road. About 6 months ago, he accidentally drove over a pedestrian island thinking it was an actual road. I pointed out to my mum that him being old wouldn't count as a defence. She still gets in the car with him(!)

And before you say why don't I report him, it's easy to say but I've reported someone before for the same sort of thing and he figured out it was me and went mad at me. It's even more difficult to report your own parent.

'Yes, it's a shame that Onomatofear Sr took out that entire Reception class on their candlelit walk to the local church for their first Nativity, but you have to remember that his daughter couldn't report him for being a liability because it might have cost her an inheritance compared to him dying when driving. At least this way, she gets her money sooner rather than having to wait for her Mum to die as well'. Doesn't read very well, does it?

That is a crappy excuse, OP, with the potential for tragedy on a massive scale.

You're not a little, helpless child, you're a fully grown woman and a mother yourself. In any case, whatever gives you the slightest idea that he's going to leave you a single penny and hasn't already made arrangements for it to go anywhere but in your pocket? He's clearly a dickhead, why would he let you have it? And what's to say that he won't end up in a home and it'll all go on care anyhow?

I won't say how I have this information but I know personally at least two HGV drivers who are alcoholic, and have admitted to driving in black out, waking up in a lay-by with no idea where they are. It's a lonely, isolating job.

I'm using this post as a reminder to everyone to really be alert on the road. You don't know how many other road users are pissed/part sighted or basically incompetent.

Reporting alcoholics is hopeless, because it requires the driver returning a self reported form to the DVSA on their alcohol consumption.

It seems to be men that struggle the most with this I've noticed.

If you really want to stop elderly people driving, start voting for governments who prioritise public transport, use it yourself whenever you can, and let's try to make a public transport system that actually works.

My DH is nearly 70 and had a stroke two years ago. He now has mild cognitive impairment. He can drive perfectly well but he always asks me if I feel confident about his driving and at the moment I do. He knows that I will tell him if that changes.

Although I would be prepared to report him if he didn't listen to me.

I agree too, and it's not just about eyesight, but about reaction time and many other things.

My mum was terrible as she got older. She rarely signalled, had poor road positioning, went through red lights more than once. As a passenger in my car, she'd tell me to stop at junctions where I had priority, because she had read the road wrong. I said I thought she should stop driving (the family had discussed it and I had been nominated to tell her - thanks everyone!) but she wouldn't. I tried to buy her some advanced driving lessons but she refused that too.

My parents both drove long after we told them to stop. Mum's optician told her to stop driving --- idiot Mother changed her optician. Dad, hit a traffic island - the police told him (like Prince Philip) surrender your license OR we will prosecute. (Good for them) Both parents are long dead now.
I'm 69, I've told my kids to tell me when they no longer feel safe with me - they definitely will. My daughter says she doesn't feel safe with her dad (my ex) but he won't listen but she still feels safe with me. So, I feel confident to carry on for now but will stop as and when they (mostly she) no longer feels safe (or before if I feel unsafe)
Not sure about age related driving tests though because people don't decline at the same rate. Some become unsafe much earlier than others. Maybe some sort of easily administered reaction test (from about 50), a score below 'x' means you have to take a test

My FIL is almost 80 and like that. He already had an accident pressing gas instead of brakes and trying to blame it on the car. He often gives lifts to SIL and the horror stories she’s told me….

We had to take FILs keys away and sell his car at age 72. He had early-onset Alzheimer's and wasn't safe.

After a couple of weeks he forgot that he had a car and was happy enough to b driven around by dh or his partner who is in her 70s but no cognitive issues.

I agree. While cases such as OP and others have mentioned are shocking, and yes, some older people shouldn't be driving, there are a lot of others who are perfectly competent. Where I live people have to renew their licence at 75, 80, and then every 2 years after than. To do so you need a medical certificate. The doctor can suggest you do an on-road test if they have concerns. Boy racers on the other hand .....

My late DF had only one accident in his life, in his mid-80s, when a young man drove through a Give Way sign because "he didn't know there was a GW there" (aren't you supposed to look?). DF was still driving at 89, right up until not long before his death, perfectly well.

Some of these stories are horrifying. I wish the police would also start charging the enabling relatives when their relatives kill people with their dangerous driving.

My GFIL did this too. He was driving about a week before his death and his daughter and Granddaughter complained that they had told him to stop driving because he drove on the wrong side of the road.

My dad was still driving until a couple of years ago. I can tell you it was terrifying! It took him a long time to accept his driving years were over. He'd been driving since he was 17 and he hated giving up that independence. I can understand it.

Enabling relatives? People are responsible for their own behaviour. Do you suggest that shop keepers also get charged for selling alcohol to alcoholics? Or scratch cards to gamblers?

Age UK evidently has more understanding for how complex an issue this is than some of the people on this thread

"it's even more difficult to report your own parent"

Say that line again after your parent has maimed or killed someone with their drivingf

My DD narrowly escaped being hit by an elderly driver who hit the accelerator instead of break. She smashed into multiple cars. My DD was so lucky - she managed to leap out the way.

My dad decided to give up driving and last year we just took my father in law's car away. It's very hard but you have to make these decisions.

How did you take the car away? I told my mum to stop insuring my dad on their car but she said 'oh I can't do that, he'll be upset'

I along with his neighbours "report" my dad to DVLA on a regular basis. It's not as easy to get Somone to stop if they don't want too.

They justjú send him a letter ... And he ticks the box that says I feel I am safe to drive... Then continues, driving to fast to close no awareness of anything around him at all Parkinson is getting worse and his legs are freezing now so he cannot move them for a few seconds... Sounds like a driver you want on the roads right.

He says he doesn't care if he kills someone, his driving is fine, it's the young kids that are the problem.

if I take/hide his keys he would just get another set.

I have told every medical person at every appointment I have been to with him he is NOT SAFE to drive ... GP just told him to "stay local". Consultant told him he will know when he should stop, all say they can't do anything to make him stop.

I am at a total loss what to do, and dread a phone call or knock on the door that he has been in an accident and killed someone.

In a nearby village a few years back an elderly man ricocheted off a bunch of parked cars and ploughed through the window of a cafe on Christmas Eve, killing a woman and injuring many others. He apparently had a ‘funny turn’. It was reported after the court case that he is still driving.

My dad is in great shape for 81 and completely healthy and independent, but his car is way too powerful and he drives at speeds (especially on motorways) that are far beyond his capability. His reaction times are much slower than he would ever admit, plus he’s deaf in one ear and has cataracts - it’s frankly terrifying. I’m bracing myself for a very difficult and potentially combative conversation.

Totally agree that everyone over 75 should be assessed every few years - it’s insane that people are allowed to continue driving in perpetuity after a single test at 18.

The issue is that we’ve created a society where you need to be able to drive.

Shops are at out of town retail parks. Family members live far away. Everyone has to work because of the high cost of living and price of houses, so there are no younger family members available to drive the elderly and disabled. If you’re young enough to work, you need a car otherwise you’re restricted to only applying for city centre jobs within 5-10 miles. Ditto if you have kids and need to take them to school etc.

It’s not surprising that people keep driving when they shouldn’t. Take me as an example. I’m disabled and in an ideal world I wouldn’t be driving. But all of my family members work so there’s nobody to drive me.

Without a car I’d be housebound. I couldn’t pop to the shop for a couple of food items because there are no local shops any more. I couldn’t go to the doctor or hospital, or visit my elderly gran, or take my child to school (the school we were allocated is too far to walk). I couldn’t get to work (most of the jobs seem to be on out of town industrial estates). I couldn’t even take my child to the park because there are none within walking distance.

Honestly I don’t blame people who keep driving when they shouldn’t. What else are they supposed to do?

I work in a dementia service. It is terrifying the number of people we see who are still driving when they come to us. We've had people referred to us after being found driving the wrong way on a motorway.
I've seen on road driving assessment reports, terrifying.
It's hugely difficult for families. Often they have tried to intervene but until a doctor diagnoses and emphatically tells the person they aren't allowed to drive they can't make them stop.

If I was to propose two simple actions

1. Compulsory eye tests for all drivers, including things like peripheral vision with regular retests
2. At the moment if a Medical Professional advises someone not to drive thats it. I suggest that there should be a form given to anyone who should not be driving CC the DVLA and thats it for your driving. No need to say why to preserve confidentiality for non drivers

There was an absolutely tragic case of an elderly driver mounting the pavement in north London that killed a young mum with her little boy. The dad has started petitions around retesting elderly drivers....this has got to stop

Maybe some sort of easily administered reaction test (from about 50), a score below 'x' means you have to take a test
Can you imagine the havoc this would cause? People aged 50 still have jobs and kids. Imagine the immense anxiety of having to take a test, and if you fail then you lose your job because you can’t get there any more, which means you can’t pay your bills and mortgage, can’t take your kids to school, can’t look after elderly parents. It would be a disaster.

That's ridiculous. If you have a parent without a diagnosis of anything that would mean they have to stop how would you go about it?
It's not enforceable. If my husband decided tomorrow that I shouldn't drive should he be allowed to stop me.