To think that too many people are in denial that they should not drive?

[Onomatofear]

I hear about countless examples of elderly people or people with health problems getting behind the wheel of a car when they shouldn't be. Why do they do it?

I remember my dh's granddad doing it. Now it's my dad. He's 78 and can barely walk without falling over and he refuses to accept that he shouldn't be on the road. About 6 months ago, he accidentally drove over a pedestrian island thinking it was an actual road. I pointed out to my mum that him being old wouldn't count as a defence. She still gets in the car with him(!)

And before you say why don't I report him, it's easy to say but I've reported someone before for the same sort of thing and he figured out it was me and went mad at me. It's even more difficult to report your own parent.

You’re making excuses.
Maybe if he dies in a collision your inheritance will numb the pain.
It's not about you or your family it’s about the safety of everyone else.
Give me his details, I’ll gladly report him.

I remember reading a post on here, the last time I reported someone, from a woman who said she reported her mum, the DVLA took away her license, sent her letters to tell her to stop driving and she still kept driving anyway.

If I speak to him and tell him his driving is no longer safe, he does a snort as if to say I'm making it up and it's ludicrous.

He's responsible for his actions - not me. My life is not easy as is. I don't have a support system except for my parents.

There was an awful case years ago in a small town near me where three people were run over when an elderly driver mounted the pavement and then confused the break and the accelerator. Am on the south coast, big retirement area and there are numerous elderly drivers seen locally driving very slowly, often forgetting to indicate.
The other end of the age range cause more accidents with young men using their cars as toys but drivers not noticing or accepting their declining abilities is certainly a big issue.

I agree OP - if it's a relative and they need to be prevented from driving, whilst official channels take their course pop the hood and take out the starter motor.

And whilst they can't drive make sure that your relative's reasons for driving are covered by you or someone else quite willingly.

Otherwis the elderly driver will continue to drive out of necessity.

Excuses
You know that he shouldn’t drive and you’re turning a blind eye.
How bad does he have to get before you will do something?

I've said this on here recently. My Mum and Dad got mowed down by a 80 year old over Xmas turning straight into the path of their motorbike.

The cctv show there was absolutely no reason for it. Even the police have said so and the driver has been charged heavily.

My Dad died in the ambulance and is still in hospital now after getting MRSA in his leg after the 13 hour op he had to try to save his foot hasn't been as successful as they hoped.

He's looking at having to have his leg removed. Through absolutely no fault of his own. He had 8 working lights on his bike, it was the middle of the day and the driver just turned straight into the on going traffic and hit my parents bike.

My Dad has spent 6 months in and out of hospital, theatre, a rehab centre. He was home for 6 weeks but he physically can't get Into a car and can't walk out of the front door.

What doesn't make it any better is many of these older drivers are driving SUV type vehicles which cause even more damage if they have an accident.

My families experience may cloud my judgement and I'm aware this could've been a 40 year old or a 19 Yr old driving that car but I've come across many cases where you wonder why someone is still driving.

The older generation can have free travel, why not enjoy it.

I'm happy to drive him - he knows this. My mum is also still a competent driver.

I always feel half the people on the road shouldn't be driving. Boy racers my biggest hate, new drivers, I know they should get better. Those who think they know better than everyone else and will teach you how to drive. Those who tailgate on the motorway, and those who won't move over on the motorway, those on their phones, not wearing seatbelts, children lose in the car, more people in the car than seats, no insurance, no tax, it goes on and on, why single out older people?

How awful I'm so sorry.

So my grandad was in his mid 80s and his health was declining but my grandma didn't drive and she couldn't walk to the hairdresser's and neither could carry the shopping home. He was a very proud man, worked hard, helped raise 4 kids, numerous grandkids, very much the patriarch of the family. The idea that one of his kids would need to look after him was unthinkable. When their health was struggling, he wanted to be able to look after my grandma, get her to drs apps and hospital apps when needed, help her enjoy her winter years.
He wouldn't even entertain a talk about his car. It was a lifeline for them. It was a very sad day when my uncle came and took it off him and they reported him. He was heartbroken and furious. The realisation that he was, in fact, no longer able, could no longer take care of others (in his mind) nearly killed him.

I fully understand why people are reluctant to stop driving, they never believe they'll cause an accident or hurt people.
But it's inevitable

Could you contact his GP and ask them to make the report? My friends 4 year old niece was killed by a 92 year old driver who didn't see her. He is up in court shortly. My friends family are beyond devastated but I also cannot imagine that anyone would want their elderly parents final years to be spent dealing with the aftermath of them killing a child.

Yes, that thought just occurred to me. I'm going to contact his GP and ask him to tell my dad to stop driving. They see him a lot. At the moment, he is using the excuse that the doctor hasn't told him to stop driving. Well I expect the doctor doesn't know he is driving!

I didn't realise you could report elderly people for this if they hadn't had an accident. I have an elderly client that can barely walk, severe arthritis in their wrists and hands, and mental confusion that often results in a tantrum when doing simple things like making a cup of tea. They will jump behind the wheel of a car and it's really worried me as they are definitely not safe to do so.

DF's GP refused to report him to the DVLA when I took him to an appointment to start investigations for dementia. Evaluation at the memory clinic confirmed his dementia and lack of spatial awareness making him unsafe to drive but even though they suggested he no longer drove they wouldn't report him. Apparently you have to self report medical conditions (!) and personal pride and independence made this tricky for him to accept. So when his licence came up for renewal the following week I filled in the form for him and wrote to the DVLA about his diagnosis and asked them to rescind his licence. Which they did and so he blamed them, not me.
I got him an account with local taxi firm so he had what we described as his personal "driver" which eased the pain a little.

A man in our town was mown down and killed by someone who fainted at the wheel after forgetting to take her daily meds so am very aware of the danger of medical conditions affecting driving.

People who can't drive get really judged in my experience. Like there's something wrong with you or you're lazy or whatever. You see it on here constantly. The pressure to drive is immense.

I knew a woman in her mid 20s who took her driving test 7 times. After the 5th she lied and told people she had passed. She absolutely shouldn't be driving, she's simultaneously scatty and incredibly anxious behind a wheel, but "has" to drive, apparently.

After today on the M8 - absolutely. Not old people just absolute eedjits. No lane control, middle lane hoggers, no working indicators, no concept of the speed limit. In short, Muppets.

Yes. My MIL still thinks she can drive despite having a stroke, cognitive impairment and writing off her car. She doesn't, because no car.

But if she did get one I would absolutely report to the DVLA. She'd be cross but that's better than killing someone.

People don't judge people in their 80s for not being able to drive.

I also don't think people who can't drive for medical reasons get judged anywhere near as much. DH can't drive for medical reasons and it barely gets a comment, let alone judgement.

Let's stop older people driving when they are no longer safe or capable. No issue with this. So how do we stop young people with arrogant driving habits who are killing themselves and others everyday? And the midde aged drivers who are so unsafe on motorways because they never use them from one month to the next that they don't know what lane to use or how fast to drive?

In other words, the standard of driving, and the attitude to driving is so poor in this country that the teaching, the testing, and the use of regular retesting all needs to be (re)thought through.

If (when) I run the country I'd put speed limiters on every public service vehicle, taxi and white van, that would automatically police much of the bad driving in towns, then get a rolling retest for everyone with a licence more than five years old. God, I'd be the most popular PM for years.

Sorry folks, you find me on my personal soapbox!

What if your dad runs over and kills another mother looking after their disabled children? It's not just about you. I always make sure to cross the road when all the cars have properly stopped. I've heard of old people driving through red lights. If an elderly driver killed your child because their family wanted inheritance, how would you feel?

@Shitandrun you can report anonymously on the DVLA website.

because the busses around here are shite

Easy to be sanctimonious from behind a screen and keyboard isn't it when you've never walked a day in my shoes and you don't know anything about my life.

Would you report someone if you had nowhere to live next week? Or is it not about you?

The argument I hear a lot about this is 'well the young drive fast and recklessly. So why penalise the older generation?!' My thoughts are....obv it's not ok for the young to be a menace on the road, but that's NOT a justification for people with health conditions, age, failing eyesight etc to use it as a reason. Those conditions wont get better. And we can't legislate against stupidity, unfortunately. But the reckless and young can grow and learn. We took my DP's car keys off him when he kept mounting the pavement. He was outraged. But he didn't even know he was doing it. It was and still is the right decision.

I'm quite looking forward to having the excuse to hang my keys up and feel guilt free using taxis instead.