Upset we weren't invited to the wedding

[Daisypod]

My step sister is getting married in august, the invites went out a few weeks ago and it's become clear me and dh aren't invited. I asked my mum about this and she confirmed it, said she had asked my step dad about it and he just said he didn't want to get involved.
Mum and him got together when the kids were older teens/young adults so step siblings have never lived together but we've always got on. We all live in different cities and even countries but we have get togethers at Christmas etc
The wedding is abroad and child free (we have a few kids) but one of the other step siblings got married last year and it was child free and we went and had a lovely time, we had zero problem with this.
It's become clear also that it is going to be a very 'instagramable' wedding and we just don't fit in, all their friends are glamorous and we are homely and overweight.
They have invited family of parents, step parents, full siblings and their partners and about 40 friends according to my mum but we haven't made the cut.
I know the usual mn attitude is people can invite who they want to their wedding but Aibu to feel sad and angry at not being invited?

Blended families are hard work, even more so when they are adults..

My DH has twin sons, and at my daughter's wedding a few years ago.. the photographer asked for my family for the usual mother of the bride photos...

One twin stood back and when asked why he replied 'you're not my family!'

It sliced through my heart... but no matter how hard or well you've done it.. sometimes it's not the same for everyone

I get why you are upset about this, it's a family occasion, you all get on, odd for you not to be invited. However, if they're the instagram types honestly I'd count your blessings that you can avoid what will probably be a very tedious affair, where you'd have probably been told what to wear. Think of the money you'll save and next time you see them say loudly and in front of everyone that you hope they had a lovely day. Arseholes.

I can't believe all these responses calling OP's step sister a bitch and other nasty comments just based on an inkling.

She's never said it's related to how you look, she simply hasn't invited you.

I'm getting married soon and I haven't invited my step siblings (who I think are fine, but I never speak to outside family occasions), partly because I'm just not that close to them, but also because when you add +1's thats 13 people.

And yes, I'm inviting friends, who I've actually chosen, rather than people who are children of people my parents have married.

You're not entitled to an invite just because you're related, and if my stepdad has a problem with this, or tries to "confront me", I would tell him he doesn't have to attend either.

It sounds like you don't actually like her very much if you're so happy for random people to insult her and call her a bitch.

I would be annoyed and feel snubbed. I would jus about pass myself in their company from.here on in. No contact would be made from me

100% this. They could get tae fuck from now on. I don't care how petty it may seem. I have been treated like shit by some people over the years and let them get away with it. I ghost them now. Fuck them.

I put up with it for so many years because I was always taught - by my mother- to be nice and kind and forgiving (being a girl!) 🙄

I had a couple of cousins ignoring me in the street sometimes, and nothing was said but if I ignored THEM, I would get shit from my aunts and my mother for being an ignorant little cow. And if I had no birthday card or gift for my birthday, I had to suck it up, but if I didn't give THEM one, my name was mud! I was a spiteful little bitch for not getting them one just because they didn't give me one!

So yeah, I was taught to just roll with the punches but was never allowed to treat people like they treated me.

Now, treat me like shit? Fuck off and never come back.

And it sounds like YOU are projecting.

No I'm offering the other perspective, which is you're not that close, you don't have a right to be invited, she's not done anything wrong.

100% agree.

If one of my parents remarried now to someone with adult children, I don't see why they'd be more than passing acquaintances tbh. Unless we happened to really hit it off as friends.

Not because I'd hate them, but just because there's no reason to think a significant relationship would automatically form.

Something like this happened to me, a very close family member (sister). I was pregnant and wouldn't have been able to travel abroad for the wedding as my due date coincided but I didn't receive an invite and nothing was said. I was so hurt.

As Mel Robbins says: Let them.

They are nasty. Cut them off and block them. Move on OP and have a nice holiday with your kids.

This basically

@Daisypod why do you want to be at wedding? You're derisory about the bride and groom, their friends, their lifestyle, why would you want to?

YANBU

Are you the step sister

No lol

I just feel bad for her. Everyone here is being horrible about her and she's not done anything wrong. It's her wedding, she doesn't have to invite everyone.

I wondered that too @rubyroola

🙄

YANBU. I would feel inclined to book a holiday at the same place, at the same time, and flaunt myself in front of her if I could!

Seriously, she's shown how she feels, so cut contact with her as much as possible, and if you need to be at the same functions just ignore her.

No card, no gift would be my take on this, maybe I would stretch to a card from the Card Factory.

You’ve never lived with them, you were even married by the time you met them.
I appreciate that you see her as family, but from another perspective… I wouldn’t see them as family, but as “my dad’s wife’s daughter”. And I’m a stepmother myself. I think my adult stepdaughters would only use that term because it’s more quickly understood than “dad’s wife not my mum”.

I think it would be obvious to cause ructions and hurt though - so for a reasonably sized wedding, she’s really hurtful and rude.

But I do wonder how often you see and speak to each other directly? So not Christmas arranged by parents, or in a group chat. Do you actually have a direct relationship with each other?

Not even a card. No invitation shows they DGAF about the OP. Why should she give them a card?

I'd also escalate the situation by unfriending her or something. When she tells her bio family they can side woth her and it'll be awkward forevermore and it will all he her fault. Let your stepdad and mum feel some of the heat.

Jesus wept.

Regardless of the rights/wrongs of the invite. So many people being horrible about her due to the Instagram, saying that her marriage won't last a year etc etc.
OP supporters really aren't covering themselves in glory.

Have you not RTFT ? Please see OPs comment at 17:02 if you don't believe her 🙄