To feel poor even though we earn well?

[erte]

We live in London and have to for our jobs. Even though we earn what most people would consider a very good household income, maybe top 5% nationally, we still feel poor.

Yes we can afford rent but can’t afford much more than a one bed and save. Whereas if you told me 10 years ago how much I would earn, I’d have imagined a far more comfortable existence.

I made some suggestions a few posts back.....struggling, overstretched, over committed,not as comfortable as she'd hoped , not budgeting well....these are all options.

If the OP said she was not as comfortable as she'd hoped or struggling some posters would still criticise her for not knowing what struggling us etc.

How do you know she’s not budgeting well or overstretched herself?

Yes I can see it now. You wrote 'In short, poor is not being able to meet your day to day needs in order to live.'

That needs much more work though, because who defines those? Do you think people who don't have access to clean water, literacy or the internet would accept the definitions we use for what constitutes poverty in the UK, and if so which one counts as fact? Are you going to allow for degrees of poverty? You claimed that poor was a fact, so you're going to need to be clear about that that.

And then you'll need to relate it to what I actually wrote. Simply saying OP isn't poor when we both agree on that isn't sufficient.

''Twas ever thus.

When I lived in London in the 90s I had a permanent overdraft and did 2 side jobs on top of my main job.

🤷‍♂️

People are bring quite judgy and mean to you OP. I know what you mean and I empathise. You might not be going to food banks. That doesn't invalidate that you 'feel poor'. I totally get you.

You’re putting your energy into the wrong thing here, and the wrong target. I shan’t make the same mistake by putting any more of my energy into this odd debate with you.

Are you ok?

It’s a London thing.

We’re in Scotland with a combined income of £80k and we’ve got a 3 bed with a huge garden, one abroad holiday a year plus 2-3 UK hols, run a car, have nice family days out, football season tickets, DC in 3 hobbies.

My cousin and her DH in London earn twice what we do and have a 1 bed, no car, not had a holiday in years, can barely afford for DC to pursue a sport they love.

If you want a nicer lifestyle I’d look at a cheaper area. London fools people into thinking they earn highly but their disposable income is often next to nothing after factoring in the higher COL.

The govt has massively wasted tax payers' money.

I said options, not definites.
Struggling is a better term than poor.
I can get that anyone one any income could potentially struggle.

That's the understatement of the decade!

I've made my points.
You're free to not agree/understand.
I'm not the only one making this point.

According to ONS, on our combined net income of 65K, we are still considered to be in the top 20% of earners!!!! This is insane to me. In the top 5% you would have to be Londoners to be struggling so much. You have zero sympathy from most because of this.

People forget that this isn’t a true reflection as high earners generally aren’t on PAYE.

I'd bet OP has never actually been poor to have chosen that word.

Why so rude?

The fact that she claims to be on the to5% and still be poor is a hint

I think saying I feel poor is probably like a man saying I feel I am a woman or a white person saying I feel like an Afro American

It also reminds me of common people by pulp - until you have been there you can't really know but to say that's what you feel like proves you have no idea

I do feel sorry for the OP who isn't getting pleasure out of what she has and isn't able to manage her huge income to achieve what she really wants - she is poor in many ways just not financially

I do understand where OP is coming from. I earn a high salary. But as a single parent locked into an expensive area due to schools chosen when I was part of a couple, my rent is very high and it is a struggle to make the money stretch to payday. I have to budget hard, shop economically, and make choices that I would rather not make.

But I have been poor, and this is not that. I eat nutritious meals. My bills are paid. I have decent clothes and shoes. My child has a great education and does extracurricular activities. I live in a lovely area and have access to parks and green spaces. I can afford the occasional coffee/lunch/camping trip.

There is a whole world of difference between 'not wealthy' and 'poor'.

You are, in fact, the only one who's claimed that I wrote something I didn't. Which is what I'm discussing with you here. Ultimately, you drew a daft conclusion, doubled down and kept digging.

Gosh, this is tiresome.

Right, and can you tell us how much input this British dictionary definition had from the bottom billion? Which society?

And what you have left after housing costs matter.

Nobody forced you to start this discussion, and nobody is forcing you to continue it.

Why so rude?

It was genuine concern? I think it’s odd behaviour.

I suppose it's because you buy the same things but more expensive versions. Whereas if you stuck with the cheaper versions, you'd have more disposable income.

Have you come from a background of poverty OP? That’s not an attack, it’s a genuine question.

We earn well - I’m in top 10% for salaries, my partner is top 5%. We don’t have the disposable income or opulent life I’d have expected as a kid but I don’t feel poor because I grew up in grinding poverty.

To me being comfortable/wealthy is having savings, choosing and paying for groceries without anxiety, being able to cover increases in bills or buy new shoes if yours have holes, going on holiday anywhere that isn’t family/friend’s homes, etc.

It’s all relative. We set the bar based on what we’re used to.

This is because of the increasing wealth inequality. The flow of wealth has been such that it is now increasingly held in assets owned by the super rich. This has been going on for years.