DH booked a trip for him for my birthday

[MrsDurrells]

DH asked what I’d like for my birthday (last weekend), I clearly said no trips as I end up doing all the packing, planning, unpacking washing etc.
Hes booked us glamping, leaving after school today. All week I’ve reminded him I’m not packing, meal planning, shopping etc and guess what-he’s done a bit of a shop but no meal plans (eg we have bacon, broccoli and cookies?), there’s 3 kids to pack for still and the weather is set to be hot, cold, sunny, and rainy so all weathers really, and he’s not packed a thing yet!

Part of me says don’t help but another part of me knows it’s me and the kids that will suffer because frankly, we’ve experienced similar before! He is so unprepared about most things in life as he knows I always step in and sort it and he openly says he thinks I’m a perfectionist (I’m not I just like to be prepared and have saved his arse so many times!) It’s exhausting. It’s more a jolly for him than me isn’t it?

Ever seen the Bluey episode where dad takes them swimming?

That’s all very sweet but did you learn from the first time you did something like this and promise you’d never do it again? Because otherwise it seems like you might be hoping you could carry on getting away with it.

Don't be so sexist. Many of us have husbands/partners who are competent, and at very least are capable of absorbing if we've specifically said we don't want something such as a birthday trip.

I wouldn’t have gone but as you have I hope it’s not as crap as it sounds.

It's only 2 hours away, if necessary he packs up and you all come home again.

At least he didnt have to remember the tent.

No, I didn't learn first, 2nd or 3rd time, but I have learnt now. I enjoy a lot of solo hiking... and love a proper organised trip out. And married 28 years+.

YANBU.

My dh listened carefully to me when I had my birthday a few weeks ago. I have a stressful job working with small children. He booked us (including older dc) a weekend at a luxury hotel where no children under 12 were allowed. Booked a luxury dinner at a restaurant and encouraged me to order whatever nice wine or food I wanted.

Everything we did that weekend he had already planned and booked and I had no decisions to take or think about how or what time to get there or where to go.

He listened. It was great.

Yanbu, don't go, let him take the kids and have a nice chilled weekend at home on your own.

I'm not in the slightest bit sexist. Just talking from my own hard learnt experience, many of you have competent guys and credit to them. Many more of you have to put up with the rest of us. 🙂

Just go with the flow. Anything he's forgotten you can get when you get there. Stop stressing and enjoy it

God, he sounds like an absolute tool.

I would have let him crack on with the kids and had a blissful weekend at home to myself. But then a camping weekend is my idea of a nightmare and that’s with a capable grown-up for a husband.

He’s asked where various things are

Well, you know the answer to that @MrsDurrells : "Where they always are."

So your husband gave himself a present- a glamping holiday.

I'm glad you haven't helped him - but you're now going to suffer a chaotic and uncomfortable trip.

What are you going to do about the fact that he didn't give a fuck what you wanted?

Glad you left the cats to him (and obviously that he has a plan for them).

Keep this up and don't do ANYTHING.

Enjoy

The time to act was when he told you he'd booked glamping totally against your wishes - you should have said there and then that you are not going, end of discussion.

It's a bit late to be rebelling and sitting in the garden on the very day that you're due to travel. As someone upthread said, stop the drama that time has gone, and just get on with sorting out the children and whatever else will make your weekend bearable.

It is very unkind of your husband to book this trip when you said “no trips”. I’d be inclined not to go.

When you return home OP,
I hope you will just have to pop out with your youngest, whilst your DH unpacks and sorts the washing out. 😊

"Try to be nice" - by getting her what she has specifically said she doesn't want because previously you've proved yourself to be a crappy partner who doesn't share the load and is happy to let her do all the work?

Why would that be nice?

Here for the updates!

@THisbackwithavengeance

why can’t he just do the bloody packing?

Bleurgh. Speak for yourself. Some of us had the wit to marry capable men who don’t arrange shit ‘presents’ for their own benefit.

Completely nauseated by this patronising bollocks - ‘Us blokes are genuinely dumb, you girls are fantastic (and complex).’

i don’t know a single woman that’s happily with a ‘genuinely dumb’ (for which I read selfish and thoughtless) bloke.

I would pack the toothbrushes and the little ones bottle and nip down to the shop for the biggest bar of chocolate I could find for myself . But nothing else, especially not the earbuds, nothing like a whinging, resentful teen to remind him what a dick he has been.

Im sure this post is well meaning but wtf..... i never pack fo my husband. Hes a grown adult he isnt a child. Why would you say men are dumb? Wow women are fantastic? Blurgh ....

This utter sexism is grim

@TheBlueQuail

well, we don’t HAVE to put up with it, divorce does exist you know 😊