DH booked a trip for him for my birthday

[MrsDurrells]

DH asked what I’d like for my birthday (last weekend), I clearly said no trips as I end up doing all the packing, planning, unpacking washing etc.
Hes booked us glamping, leaving after school today. All week I’ve reminded him I’m not packing, meal planning, shopping etc and guess what-he’s done a bit of a shop but no meal plans (eg we have bacon, broccoli and cookies?), there’s 3 kids to pack for still and the weather is set to be hot, cold, sunny, and rainy so all weathers really, and he’s not packed a thing yet!

Part of me says don’t help but another part of me knows it’s me and the kids that will suffer because frankly, we’ve experienced similar before! He is so unprepared about most things in life as he knows I always step in and sort it and he openly says he thinks I’m a perfectionist (I’m not I just like to be prepared and have saved his arse so many times!) It’s exhausting. It’s more a jolly for him than me isn’t it?

What a lovely update. It sounds like fighting your natural instinct to just fix stuff will lead to a much more balanced and appreciated future.
Looking forwards to hearing about the much improved present he gets you next birthday!

Ah, that's a good outcome @MrsDurrells

(Though I'm sure I can't be the only person who, in view of your username, was hoping there had been some amusingly bizarre chaotic incidents for you to relate.)

Great that it's been an experience that changed minds. Now you both have the harder job of changing habits. This weekend was a lesson in boundaries. Set them going forward

This is actually excellent! I'm so glad you had a good time, and that your husband has perhaps realised exactly how much you do and is showing a bit of appreciation!

Bravo OP, couldn't really ask for a better outcome!

Pleased that despite the initial trauma you enjoyed your birthday trip. Did he remember cake and candles? If not

Brilliant update OP. Glad you had a good time and hope the changes continue moving forward

Well done, all of you.

Brilliant result! Very glad it worked out in the end

Sorry, wrong thread

So pleased it turned out well and you did get to enjoy yourself. Be sure to remember to go on your own for a 'ME' break next year ~ DH can look after the kids and have quality time with them. Very happy for you

Oh this is so lovely to hear! Well done for standing firm, and it's lovely to hear about a relationship on mumsnet that has have a communication win!

I’m glad the trip went well and that your DH has shown appreciation for everything that you do.

Best update ever.

But was it really glamping though!?

So pleased you had a nice time AND you both learnt something.

So glad you had a good time - now don't 'reward' him by letting things slip back!

Now spill the tea - was it really glamping?

What a brilliant update. I’m glad you enjoyed the trip away and were given lots of appreciation. You played this so well and it’s fab to hear things paid off.

I'm really glad you enjoyed it

But...has he said why he arranged something you had specifically said you didn't want? Why he didn't listen to you?

I’m not foolish enough to think he’s a totally changed man but, he has heard me and he knows not to pull a stunt like this ever again.

I think that's the birthday present. Money can't buy that. I hope he continues to hear you. Happy Birthday OP

well done

Enjoyed as you didn't have to do it all ?

Excellent update.

Check into a hotel and wish him a good time with the kids.

I think you've missed the boat on this one

Well done OP! I can't imagine how angry you must have felt when you saw what he'd done, after you'd expressly said that was the one thing you did not want done as your birthday treat.

I think the way you handled it was perfect - Show him exactly what you would have had to do to make the trip happen, had you allowed him to behave the way he would normally do (ie leave it all up to you.)

Sounds like you enjoyed it precisely because you had the experience he normally gets to have.

And no arguments, just sensible grown up conversation. I really hope he has learnt something and changes will stick.

Now what is he actually going to get you for your birthday?! 🎂

What a great outcome. And I'm so glad you actually enjoyed the not-quite-glamping, it would have been miserable to have just successfully set boundaries whilst hating every minute.