DH booked a trip for him for my birthday

[MrsDurrells]

DH asked what I’d like for my birthday (last weekend), I clearly said no trips as I end up doing all the packing, planning, unpacking washing etc.
Hes booked us glamping, leaving after school today. All week I’ve reminded him I’m not packing, meal planning, shopping etc and guess what-he’s done a bit of a shop but no meal plans (eg we have bacon, broccoli and cookies?), there’s 3 kids to pack for still and the weather is set to be hot, cold, sunny, and rainy so all weathers really, and he’s not packed a thing yet!

Part of me says don’t help but another part of me knows it’s me and the kids that will suffer because frankly, we’ve experienced similar before! He is so unprepared about most things in life as he knows I always step in and sort it and he openly says he thinks I’m a perfectionist (I’m not I just like to be prepared and have saved his arse so many times!) It’s exhausting. It’s more a jolly for him than me isn’t it?

How about no?

If you come home and can say “everything went fine, it didn’t matter that a few bits were missing, and you’ll get better as you practice “ then you’ll never have to pack again. Hurrah!

And if she can't, then hopefully the DH will never book an unwanted trip again, and realise he should pull his weight preparing for the trips they do agree on.

Can't believe you caved, you are definitely your own worst enemy!

I think the cats will have a better weekend than anyone else…

On what planet is something she'd explicitly said she didn't want a 'thoughtful gift'?

Maybe her husband will learn not to buy a gift he wants. I think he is selfish to be honest.

@MaddieBrent its quite a low bar you have there. If he was a loving DH he would have listened to what OP wanted

I am proud of you.

I hope you have your gin (or preferred beverage) all your new books and magazines and your watercolours (or preferred passtime) and will be happily immersed in those.

I reckon the kids will enjoy any chaos.

It's quite possible that he'll thoroughly enjoy it.

And that you might, too ...

But even if you have a lovely time I think a clear conversation about listening to you and respecting your wishes has to happen.

We do require hourly updates ... 🤭

I wish MN had a "no thank you" button

We have three similar ages and I would not be going on this trip especially for my birthday. Glamping with three kids? Nope. Not one chance.

"Small things"? Like asking her what she wanted and then COMPLETELY ignoring her?

Hope you have wine. 💐

How is it a thoughtful gift when she said, “no trips.” He asked what she wanted and she said no trips. So what exactly is so thoughtful about this?

Being ignored when you have said 'I do not want to go on a trip' is not a small thing.

Are your standards really so low that 'not a cheat or an abuser' is all that matters?

MaddieBrent · Today 16:39
Wow, just breathe and tell your DH you are thankful for he's thoughtful gift. I am shocked by the amount of ungrateful posts I see on here. Be thankful you have a loving DH. Some women don't even get that !!

You are doing it on purpose now.

But that's just the point - it's not a thoughtful gift at all.

He has booked a trip OP, (very specifically), said she didn't want.

Completely agree some women have it so so much worse but surely that's not the benchmark we need to be setting for ourselves or our daughters?

Ignore the incel trolls. They get a cheap thrill from responses.

I’m guessing they’re mostly men who think wives should suck it up and delightfully embrace anything a man deigns to bestow upon them, even if she didn’t want it and would create lots of extra work. This is like when my ex would announce he was doing a barbecue and then stand there like Captain Caveman, burning a packet of Tesco Finest Cumberlands, while he expected me to prepare and bring out to the table the salads, bread rolls, sides, drinks, cutlery, etc. He’s didn’t last too long.

OP, I hope it’s an ok birthday in spite of you having to camp, and I hope next years is one you actually want 🌹🪻🌸

Do this. Sounds a great idea. Iventhough I appreciate you need strong nerves to carry it through.

@MaddieBrent your bar is getting even lower!

Don't be ridiculous!