DH booked a trip for him for my birthday

[MrsDurrells]

DH asked what I’d like for my birthday (last weekend), I clearly said no trips as I end up doing all the packing, planning, unpacking washing etc.
Hes booked us glamping, leaving after school today. All week I’ve reminded him I’m not packing, meal planning, shopping etc and guess what-he’s done a bit of a shop but no meal plans (eg we have bacon, broccoli and cookies?), there’s 3 kids to pack for still and the weather is set to be hot, cold, sunny, and rainy so all weathers really, and he’s not packed a thing yet!

Part of me says don’t help but another part of me knows it’s me and the kids that will suffer because frankly, we’ve experienced similar before! He is so unprepared about most things in life as he knows I always step in and sort it and he openly says he thinks I’m a perfectionist (I’m not I just like to be prepared and have saved his arse so many times!) It’s exhausting. It’s more a jolly for him than me isn’t it?

@bakebeans 👽👽

*When you hit any issues over the weekend say ‘so what are we eating tonight? You don’t know, oh, well, I guess you need to sort something. Can you organise a takeaway? ‘

‘Hummmm, little Bobby has no pants I guess you’l to find out where to buy some: do you know where the nearest supermarket is?

‘We have no milk for coffee: what’s the best way to get some do you think?’*

Fuck, no. He's not 3 years old.

Let him figure it out.

I can’t imagine speaking like that to my DH, or he speaking like that to me. Like a child.

100%

I would have absolutely stayed home after making it clear that the 'gift' was clearly what he wanted, not me, and he could sort the children all weekend on 'his' trip.

THIS

So even if, by some miracle, this weekend goes OK - the DH manages to take at least the basics, they get food and wine, the accommodation is comfortable and everyone has fun - I still ask:

How is it fair that the OP has to accept that she doesn't actually get a present for her, for her birthday. The DH has booked a family weekend away and told her that is her present.

There's not even electricity! OP has probably run out of juice by now unless somebody brought a powerbank. Not expecting an update before Sunday night at the earliest.

Probably why he didn't pack the eldest's airpods. He knew they weren't going to be used... maybe 🤔

I hope OP is having a lovely time despite the chaos. Happy birthday OP! 🍾

What’s the betting there is a compost loo!

Hopefully the OP brought her own loo paper, living with flatmates taught me to always have a personal stash.

I would not go and I would check what he’d packed for your kids - if it was inadequate I would say they couldn’t go either. I doubt it would be much fun for them with that incompetent, selfish idiot

Stay firm op. When down there say airily make a note on your phone so you don’t forget it at your <bloody huge expensive> top up shop! You can take the kids of course, I might read my book for a while. Or go for a stroll. Make sure you work out dinner before you head off, you don’t want to have to go straight back out again.

Or, "Wherever you left it". (Famously once my auto reply to a DC's enquiry as to where Croatia was...). 🤭

He also still needs to get OP a birthday present she would actually like.

Except she actually went on the stupid trip so doesn't have a leg to stand on now, unfortunately

I concur she shouldn't have gone, she's reinforced he can get away with this nonsense. (Sigh).

Can no electricity, no utensils and no bedding really be 'glamping'? Sounds horrendous.

Yes, @ActualChips , I’ve always thought that “glamping” was a huge tent or yurt with proper beds and facilities.

This sounds like an ordinary campsite-perhaps a tent is provided, but nothing fancy!

Isn’t glamping meant to be glamorous camping. This trip does not sound glamorous

I would happily pack and send him on his way and have a chilled one on my own.

@MrsDurrells Did the kids enjoy their bacon and brocolli breakfast??

I feel your pain, trips away always sound good in theory but it's all the mental load that goes with it and when it falls to 1 person it's awful.

He sounds well annoying. Agree that you need to wait for him to sort everything out. If you do, I bet he won't do it again

I always organised everything. One time I had a bug 2 days before hols and I was too weak to pack or help anyone.
Kids had no walking boots, no coats, we didn’t have enough dog food (he eats raw so can’t just give him a tin from the supermarket) and hardly any food supplies and nothing for me.
It rained a lot so me and kids couldn’t go out. DH did as he’d brought all his things.
I had to do a food shop (he drove)as he didn’t have a clue what to get.
Dog was on half rations all week to eak out the food.
it was absolutely awful

Please come back and give us the report on your weekend.

Secondly do not do the clean up when you get home!

Are you still with this crappy selfish man? I just don't understand why women accept this kind of stuff.