To let Dd skive off tomorrow because of sports day?

[Cadela]

Honestly, the way the school organises it is horrendous. It’s FOURTEEN different ‘sports’ that you have five minutes at, and the kids have to perform in front of their peers so it’s already stressful. Plus there is no races, no medals, no winning!

Last year Dd was crying the whole way round because she was so worried about looking silly in front of the year 6s. She’s 7.

Usually I am very much of the let’s crack on and show ourselves we can do it! Mindset, but honestly Dd has been crying about this every bedtime and I just don’t want to force her to do it.

They probably feel glad that at least they’re doing it in class, rather than in front of everyone they know.

Agree, I did the same for my 2 over their school years.

As a pp said, on the basis that we wouldn’t force a child who was crap at maths to do a maths problem in front of everyone, I’d keep your daughter home.

It annoys me how we’re so insensitive to some difficulties whilst (correctly) sensitive to others.

Some kids cry at a maths test of a French test, but they still have to do it (and fail it). YABU.

I hated sports day with a passion, all it did was lower my already terrible self esteem. Once I'd started secondary school I never did another one again, I "forgot" my kit every single time. My kids aren't sporty either and I fully intend to let them skip it if they hate it.

Also - maths tests are more important than sports day 😉

I’d keep her off. It saddens me in the decades since I left school PE is still not being taught in an inclusive way. I sympathise with the sheer humiliation. Make sure you spend the day doing some form of exercise- perhaps swimming or go for a really long walk together.

Ds cries at sports day most years as he's not sporty and doesn't get the stickers. Wednesday was no exception but what was lovely was seeing two girls in his class comforting him, watching him cheer on the teachers and his dad in their races and reminding him that he'd improved on the throw and jump things with second attempts etc.

But our school separates KS1 and KS2

If you haven't spoken to the school about her worries in advance and tried to develop a solution with them, I think YABU

But presumably she faced it last year so while she got through it, it left such a bad feeling that she’s experiencing a huge level anxiety a whole year later. I would keep her off so as not to have a repeat of last year. Who knows, next year she might be more willing to give it a go.

I doubt it is supposed to be an ordeal to create ‘resilience’. Most kids probably welcome it as a day out of the classroom!

I think exercise is important enough that we shouldn't be turning it into a miserable experience for kids.

Keep her off and go for a nice walk instead. Probably be more exercise that all the stupid hanging-around kids do in sports day.

It’s today! Far too late to address it with the school. The staff will be far too busy organising a sports day to be discussing issues with parents!

I would really hope at 7 she doesn't ask for days off or fake being sick. That would be really worrying.
I get that solving problems is part of our job....but not just by not going.
Trust me...I currently have a much bigger issue with a teen. And I have multiple friends who kids have dropped out of school because of anxieties. So I do get it...but I think its appropriate where fears are real and likely to ve realised, but where there is an opportunity for her to learning wasn't as bad as all that then no I would not give her the opportunity as it will become a regular thing.

Your sports day does not sound bad at all.
No races, medals, winners etc you have listed as a bad thing. But given her fear that seems like a good thing?
And moving round 14 different stations for 5 minutes means relatively few people will be watching her...its just giving things a go.

DDs school used to donit this way, with teams made up aof all year groups and the Y6s were supportive and helped the younger ones. It's sad that she is scared of the Y6s. School need to address that.

It's still not a public event.

They don't have to do these in front of all their classmates parents on a giant whiteboard though.

I mean my kids love maths and are near fluent french speakers (we spent time in France when they were preschoolers), they would happily do this for fun, maybe I should suggest it to the school...it will be good for the resilience of children who struggle with those subjects

There will be sports days for the next 9 years. She does need to address it with the school. It’s fairly obvious she’s going to keep her DD off today.

Do they though? Is there really this level of crying in the classroom?

Some children do cry more than others, some might just naturally show emotion more (for good or not so good reasons).

But she won’t become resilient if you sort everything! This crap is why we have so many kids now who can’t cope with anything.

Every single aspect of life isn't about 'developing resilience' though. It's one day. Also we don't actually have 'so many kids that can't cope with anything' - that's a line trotted out, often by (but not exclusively) older folk, (with bullying tendencies and) who lack compassion.

but where there is an opportunity for her to learning wasn't as bad as all that then no I would not give her the opportunity as it will become a regular thing.

But she went last year and it really was that bad that she is upset a whole year later! And a year is a really long time for a 7 year old, it’s not like it flies by like it does when you’re older!

I never got made to go to any of mine. Boring and a waste of time.
I had a sport which I was passionate about and always got given an extra day to do that.
Take her out for the day and do something nice instead.

I'd make her go. I also have a dd who hated sports day (and all PE) in the lower years of primary. Even asking for no one to come and watch her in year 4. We've never put pressure on her that she has to come first or second etc just take part and try her best. She's actually not bad at sport and the last two sports days she's actually enjoyed.

Recently she's played at a netball tournament and rounders for the school - still says she hates PE but thoroughly enjoyed herself and gained a lot of confidence following both occasions. Had I let her opt out and not encouraged her to take part in previous years she may not have attended either.

Yeah, keep her off. There's no benefit to making her attend and no consequence if you say she's got a headache or whatever. This subject always inspires completely unconvincing claims about resilience or similar, and they don't get any more sensible with repetition.

I stopped making my kids do sports day because they found it ridiculously overwhelming. They are all on spectrum if that makes any odds but i think it should be optional anyway as so many kids find it borderline traumatic.
I told the school that i was keeping them off for that reason, and the teachers and head was fine with it.
Some kids thrive with stuff like this and other kids really cant cope. Do whats best for your child. They are the ones expected to compete in stuff theyre shit at in front of the whole school and their parents. Not you.
Hideous

Agreed. When I wrote to my son's scout leader and complained quite robustly because they had decided to play a game throwing raw eggs (my son is severely allergic to egg) he just responded saying that the other scouts enjoyed the game and my son needed to be "more resilient". Wtf. It's language trotted out by nasty bullies.

My parents didn't push me to do things I hated (and they are probably glad of that now we have found out I have a genetic condition that explains my struggles) and I have been praised multiple times as an adult for how resilient I have been in the face of at times quite unbelievable challenges. If anything their nurturing helped me become resilient, and helped me learn to have an inner voice that is kind to myself.

I'm not sure what the point of asking on here is as you had already made up your mind 🤷‍♀️