To feel royally pissed off by H comment

[PickUpAPenguinn]

I finally got enough evidence from various referrals to state that DS5 meets threshold for extra support beyond what the school is providing. And the school agreed to support the EHC application today in our meeting. The school tell me today that due to getting final report that says DS meets threshold - that they would hope we are successful in an EHC application

I have spent years doing referrals, school meetings, coping when DS wasn't able to go to nursery. It's so slow and frustrating. He's still on two waiting lists. I've got him private speech and language etc etc.

Anyway, today I came home to say we had this breakthrough that I had everything we needed and school support.

H has never been to a meeting. Doesn't understand or care to understand the process. He's just about understood what an EHC is but barely. He doesn't know what's going on!!

I work longer hours than H by the way.

H said to me tonight that it was good news and "great you've done this but also we need to stop outsourcing parenting by filling in forms to get other people to help. We need to teach DS how to interact with people, catch him up with his reading, in a way - we need to stop being lazy parents and do it ourselves and stop relying on forms and funding"

I said I didn't feel lazy at all and I've spent many evenings and hours on this stuff. And I do help DS myself too but I finish work at 5, pick DS up, then v hard to squeeze in lots of extra reading as he's got SEN and he's just been at school for 9 hours and he's 5 - so dinner, telly, bed, bath, book, bed - feels like enough!

H said I'm being defensive. I do get his point. Maybe I need to do more myself and not rely on school. But I felt so happy today I've finally got all the necessary evidence, school support etc and I just thought H would be happier.

Am I being overly sensitive? I'm exhausted and its hot so v possible!

Tell him to get fucked.

You are doing exactly the right thing for your child. Getting the additional help he needs to make sure he can succeed.

He has no idea. What a fuckwit.

Holy shit I would literally have strangled him for that. What an asshole.

He is completely wrong. But he can absolutely knock himself out trying to 'fix' SEN with some extra reading and behaviour management. Good luck to the absolute tit.

He did say ‘we’ not ‘you’ - I don’t see anything wrong with what he said.

It’s an acknowledgement that the EHCP is great, but parenting is a factor too. He was including himself in that.

Thank goodness your son has one amazing parent.

well, if he's generally ok, could he have meant "I need to step up" but being soft on himself by saying we - thats the sort of thing my exH would have done!

You need to tell him yes, he does need to stop being a lazy parent. You’ve been using your “free” time as a parent to make sure he gets the necessary support 9am-3pm. What support has your DH provided or ensured?!

The Royal "we". We should do this we should do that but in reality they do sfa -and when they are saying we they mean you. I think he's projecting feeling bad about not doing anything for your son and trying to put it on you. You really should have said something to him. Bet you do all the baths and bedtimes too!!

Did you even read the thread properly? This useless man does nothing at all to support his child and throws in this gem. Op you are amazing for doing everything and getting it approved, I would honestly be rethinking being with this useless man.

Tell him to pick up the slack. You are doing more than your share. Well done!

He sounds like a mil mentioned recently who suggested to the op her dc might not still be autistic by October...
Is he in denial or just a cunt op?

HE might be a lazy parent but you most definitely are not! Tell him so, he's welcome to step up and join you in being an active parent to his child any day he chooses, but until he does so, he can button his fucking face hole about anything parenting related.

Man, I wanted to twat him reading that and that's off one post.

Tell him to fill his boots, that yes he is a lazy parent and what's stopping him and carry on with what you're doing. I wouldn't take him to any meeting or he might sabotage them.

in a way - we need to stop being lazy parents and do it ourselves and stop relying on forms and funding"

So what does he do in way of parenting? How much extra does he do while you are form filling and reading up about your child's condition? Or does he think DS will grow out of it?

What an absolute piece.

This.
Your DC5 needs the expertise

Well I’d tell him he’s more than welcome to crack on every evening

Ah so he, unqualified, non-invested, non engaged is going to and I apologise for this phrase "teach out the SEN" ?

Tell me your husband is an ignorant fuck without saying he is an ignorant fuck.

Yes, this!

👏👏👏

YANBU, OP. I would have snapped him in half.

"outsourcing parenting"? He thinks an EHCP is "outsourcing parenting"?

I can see why he's a H and not a DH. I think you're being very restrained.

Your husband sounds like a complete knob! And obviously has no idea how much work it is having a child with sen. My ex partner is very much the same with our 12 year old son. I would be furious too over those comments. Well done on the ehcp! That's a huge battle to fight.

Honestly? I’d want to fucking kill him with my bare hands for that ridiculous bollocks he’s spouting. He’s not been involved at all with any of this stuff, it’s fucking hard: the meetings, gathering of evidence to back up what is being said, the endless focus on what your child can’t do, the worry for the future… and this prick is implying you’re lazy?

Fuck him, sounds like a shit dad.