Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Your boobs are lovely!"

115 replies

TittyMcDroopy · 27/06/2024 17:51

Getting changed this morning in bathroom and looked in the mirror (big mistake)

Am approaching 40 and have had 3 large babies. Breastfed 3. Gained 100lbs.

Lost 84 lbs.

My belly I can handle, just about. It's so saggy but I'm really not that fussed

But my boobs :(

My previously E cup boob's have withered away. They're just like socks. My nipples face down and the stretch marks on them are insane. Deflated. Pale and stretched to buggery.

I felt upset, all the work to lose the weight and I feel I look worse now than before.

At least I had a good set of tits to focus on beforehand

I vented this to DH and he said 'your boobs are lovely'

And quite unreasonably it made me pissed off. No. They aren't lovely. They just aren't. By any standard.

I know he was trying to make me feel better but if he told me his receding hairline was bothering him I wouldn't insist he had lovely thick locks.

I'm not mad at him for saying it. I'm mad at myself for spending the last 10 years fucking my body up so badly.

I could get implants. But I would need a lift and the thought of my nipples being cut off makes me gag.

Plus there's the whole GA thing and also the fact I would need to get them replaced at some point.

At 40 is it even worth it?

I just feel so down, frumpy and horrible :(

OP posts:
LeavesOnTrees · 27/06/2024 17:54

Invest in a good bra. I once got a really expensive one in a sale and it was worth it.

Your DH is the only one who (probably) sees you naked and if he's happy there is def no need for surgery (not that you should get surgery to please a man...).

Original poster
TittyMcDroopy · 27/06/2024 17:56

LeavesOnTrees · 27/06/2024 17:54

Invest in a good bra. I once got a really expensive one in a sale and it was worth it.

Your DH is the only one who (probably) sees you naked and if he's happy there is def no need for surgery (not that you should get surgery to please a man...).

It's not about me clothed. I wear good bras.

It's about me being naked and insecure because of how I look. I almost don't want him to look at me or touch me. I avoid mirrors because it's upsetting to see what I look like now.

OP posts:
Rickrolypoly · 27/06/2024 17:56

well maybe they are lovely to him?

Bigearringsbigsmile · 27/06/2024 17:57

Your view of your body is entirely different to his. You look at yourself with a critical eye, he looks at you with love.

He sees the body he has made love with for years, the body that grew his children, the body of his life partner. Of course he thinks you have lovely boobs!

It would be much worse of he didn't!

OptimismvsRealism · 27/06/2024 17:58

Congratulations on losing the weight!

If it's really bothering you I would do the surgery. 40 is too young to abandon your body.

YellowHairband · 27/06/2024 17:58

I know he was trying to make me feel better but if he told me his receding hairline was bothering him I wouldn't insist he had lovely thick locks.

Tbf that's not quite the equivalent. The equivalent would be you saying he had lovely hair (which is subjective), not thick hair (which is not).

What makes you think he was trying to make you feel better, vs it just being what he actually thinks?

Original poster
TittyMcDroopy · 27/06/2024 17:58

These are google images!!

But very much what I look like now

"Your boobs are lovely!"
Sensitive content
"Your boobs are lovely!"
OP posts:
lemonyfox · 27/06/2024 17:59

"I'm mad at myself for spending the last 10 years fucking my body up so badly."

What do you mean by this? You've raised and fed 3 babies, don't be so hard on yourself!

Original poster
TittyMcDroopy · 27/06/2024 18:00

lemonyfox · 27/06/2024 17:59

"I'm mad at myself for spending the last 10 years fucking my body up so badly."

What do you mean by this? You've raised and fed 3 babies, don't be so hard on yourself!

I gained 100lbs after my children by eating my feelings rather than getting help.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 27/06/2024 18:00

Your husband hasn't done anything wrong. What did you want him to say?

Comedycook · 27/06/2024 18:01

Buy some good body lotion and some expensive underwear

username47985 · 27/06/2024 18:01

Rickrolypoly · 27/06/2024 17:56

well maybe they are lovely to him?

This !

Maybe he doesn't care which way your nipples face !

Original poster
TittyMcDroopy · 27/06/2024 18:01

And to the CREEP sending me private messages about this. I've reported you.

OP posts:
Sookafatwan · 27/06/2024 18:02

Your hubby was right, to him they are lovely!

PantsAcademy · 27/06/2024 18:04

I second the person who said maybe they are genuinely lovely to him. As part of you, the woman he loves.

I have bits that are objectively unattractive, and I hate them. But my OH loves them as much as the rest of me, and tells me so.

Don't be so hard on your DH.

HellsBells67 · 27/06/2024 18:05

If you can afford the surgery, why not? Life's too short to loathe looking yourself in the mirror. I'm late 50s and they're sagging a bit as I'm an F cup but still look fab in a good bra. If I hated them or they were very wrinkled, I'd probably do surgery.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 27/06/2024 18:06

but if he told me his receding hairline was bothering him I wouldn't insist he had lovely thick locks.

That's not a comparison though, is it?

If you thought he looked lovely with receding hair (I do think my DH looks lovely) then surely you'd say so and it wouldn't be a lie?

He didn't say your boobs are small and perky, did he?

He said they look lovely, so they probably do to him.

Branleuse · 27/06/2024 18:07

I had boobs like that OP and I had a boobjob and then an uplift. Its been about 12 years now and im still really happy with them, but I wish I hadnt been so unhappy with them, because logically i know it doesnt matter, and I wish i could have just embraced it all
Tbh, you either learn to accept your body the way it is, or if you really can't accept it, then surgery is the only other option surely.
I dont see the point in being cross that your husband says he loves your boobs. I expect he really does think they're lovely. Hes unlikely to be looking at your body as critically as you do.

Original poster
TittyMcDroopy · 27/06/2024 18:12

Sorry, this really isn't about DH and his comment but how I'm feeling, I think his comment just made me think about what a lovely pair of boobs look like to me and they ain't mine!

It's more about what I'm feeling about myself.

OP posts:
LakeTiticaca · 27/06/2024 18:13

He loves you, he likes your boobs. You are the mother of his children. He sound like a great guy tbh

stillavid · 27/06/2024 18:15

In your position I would go for some consultations about an uplift - you don't need to have implants necessarily.

Sookafatwan · 27/06/2024 18:19

Bollocks to surgery, especially implants, you never know how safe they'll be in x years time. Carving yourself up for a fleeting moment of happiness. You aren't frumpy, you aren't horrible, it's just a perception, not the reality.

BirthdayRainbow · 27/06/2024 18:23

Boobs and hair are completely different so you are being unfair.

To him your boobs are lovely.

Telling him he has thick locks if he was receding is a false fact.

So many things that can be said to you but only you can change your mindset about them.

Winter2020 · 27/06/2024 18:25

I know the pictures you posted are google not you - but I think they are fine. Very normal/ordinary. The person probably wouldn’t go out in such a low cut top but that’s about it as far as anything being unusual.

Your body has grown you 3 kids and I assume is still going strong - allowing you to live your life and look after them. Don’t hate on it. If you want to get surgery then do but nothing wrong with having a mum bod. I have one too as do many others.

Mnetcurious · 27/06/2024 18:25

I’m sure your husband meant what he said. He didn’t say he thought they looked as good as a 25 year old lingerie model’s boobs, he said they were lovely and it’s totally believable that to him, they are - mostly because they’re part of you!

If your husband complained about his thinning hairline then it would be a lie to say he had lots of lustrous hair, but it wouldn’t be a lie to say “your hair looks good” if you genuinely felt that it does still look good, even though it doesn’t look as full as it used to.