"Your boobs are lovely!"

[TittyMcDroopy]

Getting changed this morning in bathroom and looked in the mirror (big mistake)

Am approaching 40 and have had 3 large babies. Breastfed 3. Gained 100lbs.

Lost 84 lbs.

My belly I can handle, just about. It's so saggy but I'm really not that fussed

But my boobs :(

My previously E cup boob's have withered away. They're just like socks. My nipples face down and the stretch marks on them are insane. Deflated. Pale and stretched to buggery.

I felt upset, all the work to lose the weight and I feel I look worse now than before.

At least I had a good set of tits to focus on beforehand

I vented this to DH and he said 'your boobs are lovely'

And quite unreasonably it made me pissed off. No. They aren't lovely. They just aren't. By any standard.

I know he was trying to make me feel better but if he told me his receding hairline was bothering him I wouldn't insist he had lovely thick locks.

I'm not mad at him for saying it. I'm mad at myself for spending the last 10 years fucking my body up so badly.

I could get implants. But I would need a lift and the thought of my nipples being cut off makes me gag.

Plus there's the whole GA thing and also the fact I would need to get them replaced at some point.

At 40 is it even worth it?

I just feel so down, frumpy and horrible :(

I still think the boobs in those demonstration pics are lovely.

It’s not worth the risk of going under GA with three young kids.

So many women are taking their implants out these days due to implant sickness.

There’s lots of things you can do to feel better about your body without surgery, eg. Go to therapy, get a good fake tan, start weight training. Some exercises may naturally lift them.

I got a boob job after lost weight and my tits sagged.Not for everyone admittedly but it was right for me.

IME men have very different scale of "good" when it comes to boobs. He may have been telling you what he thinks!

I know nothing about boob surgery but I think if you have implants you don’t need to have your nipples moved?

I wouldn't bother getting operated on because if you did that, you'd probably focus on something else once you 'sorted' your boobs.

Stomach
Thighs
Teeth
Wrinkles
Bum

You're better off working out how to give less of a shit.

Your lovely husband probably meant every word. I am 48, overweight and never been a looker. My fit, active and still attractive husband loves every part of me. I don't get it, but I do appreciate it. I feel for you, it isn't easy feeling bad about yourself.

I agree with this, you'll be looking at your breasts for the rest of your life, make it easier on yourself & as for the "having my nipples off makes me gag" yes but you've had three children & we all know the indignity of childbirth!

Just go for it because it sounds like this is not only your mental heath that's suffereing but your relationship too

If you feel really bad about it and you can afford it then just go get the surgery! Seriously, life’s s too short!
I got implants when I was 19 and it was literally the best thing ive done for my self esteem. Ive had them almost 20 years now and didnt need to replace anything yet. But yes, that will eventually happen.
several friends of mine got surgery after giving birth and nobody regrets it.

If you want to change something on you and you have the means, just go for it.

Sorry you are feeling like this, op. I don't think your husband said anything wrong or untrue- I suspect he does think they are lovely and that you are letting your own feelings affect your interpretation of what he said.

I wouldn't have surgery- we are all aging and changing and the secret is to find a way to come to terms with it rather than try to hold back the clock. The people I know who have had surgery have not stopped at one surgery- once you commit to thinking that the righg think to do about imperfections is leap onto the surgeon's table, you'll never stop because you will never be perfect.

Yeah the PIP scandal says otherwise.

You comfort ate 100lbs. Have you had extensive therapy? Because if not, you'll just focus on a different thing once your boobs are sorted.

Bodies come in all shapes and sizes , and there is so much variety. The body in the pic is a normal body too.

The problem isn't your body , it's how you feel about it. Yes surgery exists for those who choose that route. I don't have any advice about how to suddenly love yourself.

I'm sure your husband is being sincere, he may be basing his opinion on how they feel if he fondles them .

This. My DH loves my saggy old body because it’s me and it brings him joy.

Honestly - get surgery. You've work too hard on your body and health to not be able to enjoy it because of your boobs. It's great that your husband thinks they're lovely - but YOU have to like them, too!

I think you need to work on your brain perhaps, not your body.

Losing the weight (even with the boob consequences) will be amazing for your long term health. I'm so many different ways.

Your boobs have nourished 3 babies. That's amazing. Well done to your body and your boobs!

Now time to work on your brain to find a some love for the fantastic things you've done with your body.

Dh is the same. He said they are lovely because they are part of me. Part of me that changed due to mothering his dcs. He compliments me daily. I struggle to accept this though for some reason as I hate me

A friend of mine had a boob job after bf 4 babies.
She’s very happy with it.

Do what makes you happy.

You don't have to have your nipples removed to have your breasts lifted.

I don't know how old your youngest is but you've had three and lost a lot of weight, give your body time to adjust. Moisturise and wear a good bra and see how you feel in a couple of years.

OP, I don't think you are really being heard here. Your husband gave the best answer he could possibly give. Maybe he thinks your boobs are lovely, maybe he doesn't however he clearly loves you and wants you to feel better about them.

Objectively, those boobs you say are similar to yours do not look good, certainly not for a young woman (yes, 40 is young, far too young to be so unhappy with your body).

Underwear, no matter how lovely, will not help when the look of your body naked is upsetting you nor will body lotion!

I really think it is worth at least going to see a cosmetic surgeon to discuss what might be possible. You have (likely) a long life ahead if you, it will be a more difficult one if you feel sad and upset every time you take your clothes off.

I had very large, saggy boobs and had a reduction and lift a couple of years ago. BEST thing I’ve ever done and the difference it’s made to my life is huge. I’m much happier, more confident, my relationship has improved, I can dress nicer.

If you want it, do it. The only regret I have is that I didn’t do it sooner.

My goodness me - you are amazing! The amount of weight you’ve lost is incredible. You should be feeling like a superhero - not beating yourself up. I cannot fathom how much willpower and pain it was to do that.

Get a boob job if that would make you feel better - don’t overthink what the operation will entail. If women overthought gory medical stuff, none of us would have kids.

I was in exactly your position, I went to see the doctor and then a cosmetic surgeon who after various excruciating examinations agreed with me that they were in a sorry state ( not those exact words) , it wasn't a commercial clinic and he was recommended by my GP and very professional.
I had implants put in- not big ones but honestly it's one of the best decisions I ever made.
I make no judgment on anyone but for me it was a huge issue and badly affected my confidence so it was a gift to myself after successfully breastfeeding 3 babies.

But maybe he does think they are lovely?

Going slightly against the grain here I think…
Can you afford breast augmentation? If you can, absolutely do it. It doesn’t matter what your husband thinks or what we think, it’s about how YOU feel. Your body is making you deeply unhappy. You ask if it’s worth it at 40? YES! Definitely it is. 40 is young. If it’ll give you more confidence and make you feel happier then go for it.

I absolutely hate my tits OP. Having struggled with eating disorders for most of my adult life, losing extreme amounts of weight, putting a bit on then losing even more. Mine too are shit. Now, I have lovely bras, they look cracking when I'm clothed. When I am unclothed. They're horrid. Now, I actually genuinely believe my husband loves them but I too can get the rage when the poor bloke tries to compliment them because I know they're not 'amazing' 'gorgeous' etc. I would much prefer him to say 'well no, they're not what they once were but I love them anyway'. At least that would feel genuine.

I would love to have mine done and they could chop what they want off and reattach whatever they want if it made them look and thus me feel, better. But I cannot afford it. So I'll continue to be pissed off and lacking confidence in my piss poor norks.