"Your boobs are lovely!"

[TittyMcDroopy]

Getting changed this morning in bathroom and looked in the mirror (big mistake)

Am approaching 40 and have had 3 large babies. Breastfed 3. Gained 100lbs.

Lost 84 lbs.

My belly I can handle, just about. It's so saggy but I'm really not that fussed

But my boobs :(

My previously E cup boob's have withered away. They're just like socks. My nipples face down and the stretch marks on them are insane. Deflated. Pale and stretched to buggery.

I felt upset, all the work to lose the weight and I feel I look worse now than before.

At least I had a good set of tits to focus on beforehand

I vented this to DH and he said 'your boobs are lovely'

And quite unreasonably it made me pissed off. No. They aren't lovely. They just aren't. By any standard.

I know he was trying to make me feel better but if he told me his receding hairline was bothering him I wouldn't insist he had lovely thick locks.

I'm not mad at him for saying it. I'm mad at myself for spending the last 10 years fucking my body up so badly.

I could get implants. But I would need a lift and the thought of my nipples being cut off makes me gag.

Plus there's the whole GA thing and also the fact I would need to get them replaced at some point.

At 40 is it even worth it?

I just feel so down, frumpy and horrible :(

That’s a lovely thing to say and I would guess quite accurate. We are our own worst critics but I bet he does think like this

Well I tried therapy for years regarding my weight and nothing changed till I had a surgeon cut up my stomach so...

Men are usually just happy to see tits and won’t critique them.
I think you need to figure out what makes you happy.

I'd be inclined to take up exercise (and perhaps more importantly, healthy diet via slimming world/weight watchers). Once the rest of you is more in shape it'll be like 'I don't like my boobs but, meh, no one is perfect'. Also the exercise endorphins will help you feel better about yourself. And we generally appreciate our bodies more when we push them and see what they are capable of.

Get the rest of you in shape first then see how you feel.

I'm as in shape as I can be with an 84lb wright loss. I don't need to lose any more weight and people talk about toning up, but when you have masses of excess skin no amount of yoga is going to remove that.

I'm not bothered about that. It's the trade off to not being massively fat anymore. I'm healthier, so what if my belly is saggy and loose?

I don't even think of that, as i wasnt fond of my fat belly and im not fond of my saggy belly, no loss.but my breasts have gone from fantastic to awful and that hurts.

Ah that changes things then. If you had your boobs done...wpuld you be happy with your body or, do you think your disdain would transfer to something else? Maybe not even your body but another life issue even.

Sometimes we blame our dissatisfaction on one thing but really it's because we aren't happy in general.

Is this possible?

Otherwise...I think I'd bite the bullet and have the surgery. Even if you lose a nipple, tattoo artists can work wonders these days. You only have one life. If you think it'll make you happy, go for it.

I honestly don't think so.

I'm not a vain person.

I don't wear make up, don't dye my greying hair, I don't get my nails done etc

I don't really bother about my appearance at all when dressed.

But when I'm being intimate or see my breasts in a mirror I just crumble.

Have them done then :)
Just think, when you're 10 years down the line, you'll still be able to look down and smile at them. Totally worth it.

Reduction is more of a problem than implants of course as they will probably have to move the nipple. If it was just implants into a flatter chest it would be much easier. But go see some consultants and see how you feel afterwards maybe.

Well you genuinely have 2 choices- stick with what you've got and live with them or have the surgery using reputable sources. I've read one or two articles where women were over the moon with the results.

Stop patronising op. She said she doesn’t like the way she looks.

i've gained 20kg since having my 2 year old. my husband will not admit i'm fat (i am) and says i'm
just abit chubby and look healthier now. i'm so depressed but he always says i'm lovely.

I hear you, I lost my right breast and had it reconstructed and I still find it hard to look at, and now my good boob isn't looking too good either!

What I am hearing is an alarming amount of self loathing in your posts, which is more upsetting than anything. Are you always so hard on yourself?

No advice, just commiseration. I had my second a few months ago and still look at least 6 months pregnant, just like I did for almost a year after having my son. My partner says I look fine but I don’t think I look fine, so it feels like empty platitudes.

Rose oil and rosehip oil might help the skin recover. I read years ago about rose oil and decided to try it out recently as one of mine is worse than the other due to it being a favoured side for breast feeding. I was using it consistently for a while, just massaging a few drops in at night (rose oil I expensive so I was buying a ready blended one) and I am fairly sure there has been improvement.

Editing to say it can't hurt anyway and smells nice.

It’s interesting that the OP focuses on her breasts, when she says that her stomach and other parts are just as bad.

Is the lack of confidence purely sexual?