"Your boobs are lovely!"

[TittyMcDroopy]

Getting changed this morning in bathroom and looked in the mirror (big mistake)

Am approaching 40 and have had 3 large babies. Breastfed 3. Gained 100lbs.

Lost 84 lbs.

My belly I can handle, just about. It's so saggy but I'm really not that fussed

But my boobs :(

My previously E cup boob's have withered away. They're just like socks. My nipples face down and the stretch marks on them are insane. Deflated. Pale and stretched to buggery.

I felt upset, all the work to lose the weight and I feel I look worse now than before.

At least I had a good set of tits to focus on beforehand

I vented this to DH and he said 'your boobs are lovely'

And quite unreasonably it made me pissed off. No. They aren't lovely. They just aren't. By any standard.

I know he was trying to make me feel better but if he told me his receding hairline was bothering him I wouldn't insist he had lovely thick locks.

I'm not mad at him for saying it. I'm mad at myself for spending the last 10 years fucking my body up so badly.

I could get implants. But I would need a lift and the thought of my nipples being cut off makes me gag.

Plus there's the whole GA thing and also the fact I would need to get them replaced at some point.

At 40 is it even worth it?

I just feel so down, frumpy and horrible :(

I can completely relate. I'm currently a year postpartum myself after two babies (big age gap) and having combination fed both. My body has taken a battering.

I'm currently losing weight and have half a stone to go to get back to my goal weight. I'm a road map of stretch marks, varicose veins and saggy pancake spaniel ear titties. Unlike you, I was a modest b cup. Now I'm a very deflated B cup verging on an A cup. Nipples are definitely cock eyed and one points down more than the other. One is now definitely larger than the other. Always had a bit of A symmetry but now it's obvious.

I hate my body, the lumps, bumps and the extra padded bras I have to wear. Pants need to high waisted as well to pull in the mum tum. Thighs are a mess and my hair is limp and growing back in greying tufts.

Thank fuck I have a decent face!

I don't know what the solution is. I do remind myself that I've grown and nurtured two tiny humans, I'm working and raising a family, I am older and aging is natural (similar age to you) my H has been understanding and reassuring as well but he just doesnt get it. It makes me feel shallow and vain but I miss my pre kid body . His lack of understanding and writing it off as me be overly sensitive and unrealistic pisses me off to no end. I get the rage, bad, whenever he compliments me or says he fancies me still, more than ever.

When you find the answer, please share!

Yes, exactly this.

Hating your body at 40 is no fun.

Get the surgery if you want it op. Life is so short - why wouldn’t you?! Genuine question!

At 40, I’d definitely consider surgery.

From the other side of the coin I know someone who had those pip implants and told no action needed unless problematic. Always on the back of her mind. Fast forward to 2020 and one was leaking all over, lumps under armpits, misshapen boob, pain. Took a good 12 months to get sorted via NHS, who thankfully took on their safe removal. I know pip was pulled in 2010 but you just never know the next scandal. Even leaving aside the risks, Im so surprised to see many suggesting surgery. Sooner or later you have to accept ageing and is there any dignity in a pair of bolt ons? The theme here is most DHs are happy with what you've already got, and why have a pair of fake bangers over a big saggy gut?!

Mine are similar to those pics, I didn't realise I should be self conscious of them..

Very good.
And to the OP, please don't be so harsh to
yourself!
It's good to know about these lovely husbands
as well.
👍🎉🤝

Well you shouldn't and if you're not, more power to you, genuinely. But some of us are and that's perfectly valid.

How many of us look the same post children though! Your hubby loves you .you have born and raised his DC ..you have given him a family life.br grateful OP..I am currently receiving treatment for ovarian cancer..my SIL and BFF have both had breast cancer
.please don't mess with an otherwise healthy body .there's more to life than perfect breasts you know!

A lift alone might get you the results you want - I had a lift/reduction with a world class surgeon and mine look like implants, very perky and lots of projection. It’s fairly major surgery so not for the faint of heart but I wish I’d done it a decade earlier.

Maybe they are lovely to him and he was being honest

If I were you I would go and get a consultation, at least a discussion to see what can be done

Why cares about your nipples being cut? Youll be asleep

Do you want to live with your boobs the rest of your life? If not do something about it

Sorry this is getting you down, OP.
I had corrective breast surgery 2.5 years ago, nipples repositioned in the process, and am delighted with the results. You are only 40. Go and have some consultations so you can make an informed decision.
My surgeon was recommended by my GP.

I have a couple of friends who often talk about how much they hate their droopy, empty boobs. I just think, if you can afford it, get them fixed.

I do relate to your irritation with DH. I remember harping on about how gorgeous Catherine Zeta Jones was one evening and my DH said "but you're way prettier." I was so mad! I told him he was either being ridiculous or untruthful.

Ref your boobs. My friend had hers lifted, no implants, and honestly the result was fantastic. She is so glad she did it.

I had my nipple cut off when I had a partial mastectomy... its really not 'gag worthy'.

OP, I kind of know what you mean.

You personally really hate the way they look; therefore it feels impossible to you that he's telling the truth; therefore he's just lying to make you feel better.

As you say it's not really about DH, at worst he is just trying to be nice. It's about you hating a part of yourself and that making you very unhappy.

I would say if it's really upsetting you, yes, consider surgery. You're still young and it's not something you can change naturally.

(I consider a tummy tuck occasionally but I can mostly keep the flabfest under control through diet and exercise if I try).

1. I bet your boobs really are lovely to him.
2. If you really can't live with them you can get implants and a lift, they're designed to last a lifetime now so unlikely to need replacing.
3. By losing the weight you have massively improved your health, well done!

@Wormfanclub

“It’s not worth the risk of going under GA with three young kids.“

The risk is minuscule, I’m not sure that should deter OP

Hi OP.

At 40 you're genuinely still young. (I'm 62, and I know there's even older than that! 😳). If you're unhappy with how you look then it's well worth making a change at this relatively early stage.

What's happened to your body is normal but I think that if you feel very unhappy about how it looks then you should look into having a makeover (you said this was something you could do, otherwise I'd not have mentioned it). It's important for each of us to feel good (enough) about the way our body looks, so that we don't feel unhappy each time we get our kit off.

I think btw you're a bit unfair to your DH. Did you expect him to agree with you that you don't look good? That would have been horrible. I'm sure he does love the way you look because it was in making your family together that your body changed, but either way I think it's a good thing that he said your boobs are lovely. He sounds like a nice man.

I hope you work it out in a way that makes you feel happier.

OP I have reasonable breasts but my nipples point downward- like really down.

I have always had boobs like this and I have always hated them and felt self conscious. I don’t have children either.

An ex of mine called me saggy nips in an argument and honestly, I felt so embarrassed and angry… that was 15 years ago and I have never forgotten that comment.

I would NEVER stand in front of my OH without a bra on and he has never said anything negative about my body in the six years we have been together.

I can’t go under the knife for medical reasons but I would if I could ( I’m 42)

The picture is what mine look like

There are some women with firm , well proportioned typical ' model' bodies and they are self conscious of their bodies and consider surgery to improve it .

We only know the body in the pic is a before pic from surgery, because the caption says. Plenty of women with similar bodies may be content.

He probably likes them, boobs are boobs, plus they are your boobs and he loves you.

If you hate them get the surgery. There's no point spending the next 40 years upset by your saggy tits. 40 is young, you've had your babies and it's time for you again!

Completely agree

Yeah I like this

But some of us do, I like fewer wrinkles, it makes me feel better

Give your body some time. I had similar feelings about mine after losing 5 st - things do fill out a bit and the marks will fade a bit, and you’ll become more comfortable. 20 mins of basic yoga every few days can help a lot - i always see a quick difference in how my body holds itself when i can keep it up.

One of my favourite bits of my DP is a bit of his back that has lots of stretch marks from when he had a growth spurt as a lad. It feels lovely and I’ll spend ages stroking it. My DP likes squidging my arms when they get a bit sausagey. 🤷‍♀️

Real love and attraction isn’t about being that perfect outline of a man or woman. Your DP’s response was actually pretty good imo.