To think she didn’t need to try and embarrass me?

[squitnha]

Today we had a meeting where we were given a starter and main:

Both lovely but I couldn’t each as much of the main as I was getting full.

The person cleared the plate and said loudly “oh didn’t you like it?” Like I’m not a child. Me liking or disliking it is irrelevant to the meeting.

I just hate it when people comment on your food.

It sounds an innocuous remark to me

I doubt that she was trying to embarrass you.

I agree that you shouldn't comment on what other people are
/are not eating though.

That could be interpreted as sympathetic, or it could be just a chatty comment. You interpreting it as deliberately trying to embarrass you suggests a back story.

Would that embarrass you though? I wouldn't give a shit. Seems a fairly normal thing to say to me.

Was this meeting at a restaurant, and the commenter waiting staff? If so, s/he might have wanted to offer you a different dish if you hadn’t liked what you were originally served, so that wouldn’t have been rude but goood customer service. I don’t really see it as rude anyway - you can just say, ‘no it was lovely but I’m full already’, without it causing an incident.

Why do you hate it so much when people comment on what you eat? Is it a sore point for you?

I just hate it when people comment on your food.

I do, too. Unless it's an entirely positive comment like, "That looks delicious", any commentary should be kept to yourself.

I think this is another example of people looking for a reason to be offended tbh

Was she just not asking if you disliked the main course? Is there a backstory to this?

Some people on MN have really weird colleagues and friends imo. If I eat a starter I never eat a full main course. Before anyone starts with the usual MN nonsense, I’ve never been someone who can eat 3 courses, I’m more of a grazer through the day due to a health condition.

Surely the reply is “It’s lovely but just a bit much”!

I agree it's a bit of a nosy unnecessary comment! I certainly wouldn't ask that because it's none of my business, and just draws attention to what could be something personal/awkward such as someone having a sore stomach or disliking an ingredient but trying to be polite and not make a fuss

But what if she didn't like it? I'm personally mortified when I realise I'm in polite company and really don't like my food and would hate to make a fuss and have attention drawn to the fact

‘No, it was lovely. I’m just full.’

Very basic conversation. Do you have issues with food? As there’s nothing even remotely embarrassing about any of this.

This is such a strange thing to get het up about

I think commenting on food is unwise as no one knows what relationship people have with food and calories etc

Why? ‘No, I didn’t really like it.’ Zero fuss required. What’s the issue?

Weird thing to be embarrassed by

No it’s not. Is it really so difficult for you not to make personal comments to someone?

Then that’s your issue. Just say it wasn’t to my taste. I never get the embarrassment of not liking a dish you’ve ordered.

But why do I need to justify myself? As an adult I can eat as much or as little as I want - it doesn’t require someone to comment on it.

Trying not to offend or trigger some people is like walking in a mine field. Who knows what might offend or trigger someone. It really isn’t healthy. Communication is becoming unnecessarily complicated and difficult.

The person clearing the plates probably had a good reason for asking you this and it had nothing to do with embarrassing you or shaming you.

What did you say?

Exactly. I didn’t want attention drawing to it. No one else in the room noticed I hadn’t eaten much until she made the comment loud enough that everyone looked at me.

As the person in that meeting she had no reason to ask me that question I assure you.

You are being weird. She was just making conversation.

You’re overthinking this. Why did you mention your colleague cleared her plate? She probably enjoyed the food. It’s not a big deal, she simply asked if you didn’t like it. I don’t see the issue tbh.