To think this teacher was rude ?

[Goolagoo]

I’ll start by saying I’m a teacher myself so I understand how - for want of a better word - annoying it is when children are in and out of lessons.

My son is in y5. He has a very high prescription for his glasses . He’s also very clumsy ! He has had to be picked up from school a few times because of his glasses being broken - even the spare - and he can’t see barely a thing without them so they have to be fixed straight away . A few times this has been in PE that they have been broken. One time another child hit him , they broke , and my son was put in isolation for hitting him back and no one told us - he sat their all afternoon being unable to see ( the optician said they needed fixing straight away as not wearing them is a massive strain ) . There have been times no one has told us they are broken and he has been left like it all day and even shouted at for not reading - when he couldn’t see !

Hes quite self conscious so the optician suggested contacts. He was keen , he’s done really well , it’s only been a few weeks and we thought this takes away the problem of the glasses being broken . However , a few times over the past 2 weeks they have felt funny in his eyes or moved and he’s had to take them out ( he’s gone to the head , who is very supportive and wears contacts and said he would help him ) . He told us that his teacher said if he left class again he wouldn’t be “ allowed “ to wear contacts at school and also told him he only has 30 seconds to take them out . He’s a quiet boy so this has upset him ( he also has great attendance and is doing very well academically) .

I have had a message form her saying “ Hi , can DC stick to glasses at school as he sometimes can’t take them out and then can’t see “ - no reasons as to why it’s beneficial to him etc , not even a thank you just a blunt message . Bearing in mind he can always take them out it’s just a few times - maybe 3 / 4 in 2 weeks - that he has needed support . The head has no problem and has said they will do everything they can to support him and that they think it’s a great idea .

This message from his teacher has really angered me - I find it rude that she thinks she can just decide that he can’t wear contacts to school !

How much term is left?

He could just wear his glasses & spend the summer getting confident with the CLs.

3/4 times out of 10 days is nearly every other day though is it not?

I don’t think the message is rude. It’s blunt and to the point but I’m sure you can appreciate the additional time it came take to make a message sound more conversational and she probably doesn’t have much spare time. However, I do think she either isn’t aware of why he is now wearing contacts or the impact going back to glasses will have. Have you spoken to her about it?

Surely it’s only a few more weeks until the summer holidays and then a new teacher, after more time being able to practice putting them in and out. It sounds like he’s already doing really well and hopefully next academic year will be easier for him. Not sure if you’ve tried them but there are also various drops he can wear to make his eyes and contacts feel more comfortable.

Yabu. Sounds sensible of the teacher. He needs more practice. Glasses till end of term then lots of practice over the summer. It's not rude the message.

Maybe so , but it’s 10 mins max at a time - with the head teacher - it’s at the end of term too. I’m aware of various issues within the class that are disruptive, they have 3 teachers as their original teacher left so I just think focusing on my son and his contacts is making an issue when there isn’t one. If it had been like 6 weeks and it wasn’t getting better , I would understand. It also seems it’s just that teacher who has a problem with it .

Surely if it's agreed with the Head you should just ask her to speak to them?

Three or four out of ten is a lot though. She wasn't rude she was just to the point. You say you're a teacher. She probably had a load of other parents to message or things to do and she needed to be quick.

i just think the message could have been worded better - if it were me I would say “ the time out has been disruptive , he’s missing learning time, it’s affecting his progress etc , maybe it would be better if … “ but the way it was wrote was more a demand

Yes that’s what I’ve replied

YANBU. It's rude and lacking in social graces.

I'm sorry op but I think 40 mins out of a head teacher schedule every two weeks to help one child with contacts is too much, when glasses are an option.

He sounds like a real candidate for the contact lenses you wear over night to re shape your eye ball ( ortho k I think ) then wear nothing in the day.

maybe ask your optician

Also , the reason I’ve started it now is so that he gets used to them in school. He’s fine at home and has no issues - he gets them in and out easily . I don’t want him starting y6 and having to mess around then. He only has 2 weeks to go , so this seemed the best time . This teacher is only in 2 days per week the others have no issue .

I’ve never heard of this ! Interesting , thank you I’ll look into it x

He hasn’t been to the head every time, the others he has just gone to the bathroom . The headteacher was encouraging of it and suggested it

I totally understand , as I say I’m a teacher too . I would never send a message to a parent that was so blunt though , as if I were sending a text message .

I think if they are feeling funny or moving in his eyes that frequently that he’s needing to take them out, you should go back to the optician to ensure they are a good fit for his eyes. I’ve worn contacts for 20+ years and appreciate that at first it takes time to get used to putting them in / removing but he shouldn’t be needing to remove them during the day.

I have to say, the very last place I’d want to be taking contacts out would be the boy’s toilets in a primary school! They’re generally pretty grim!

If they're slipping around, he's got them in the wrong curvature (tightness).

Have you looked into unbreakable glasses?

I've been wearing glasses since 7 and contacts since 13. It makes a huge difference to your peripheral vision to have CLs not specs if you have a high prescription. They need to be supporting your child to look after his optical health needs as deemed best by his parents and the relevant healthcare professionals. I've got decades of experience and 30 seconds is unrealistic if you include handwashing time, plus it takes quite a bit of practice to get competent. Kids will have issues with their eyewear from time to time, lenses split or get dust, glasses are crap and break! Just make sure he takes what he needs to deal with it (lense case, saline, specs). Teacher is treating this as a vanity issue, like piercings rather than a health issue which schools usually try to support.

Could it be that this teacher isn’t aware of the glasses issues and support from the HT for wearing contacts?

That said, if he’s getting on fine with them at home but needed to remove them 4x in 10 days during class time I would be starting to wonder if he’s genuinely struggling with them at school or using them as an excuse for a bit of ‘time out’.

Maybe you could suggest that he needs to deal with any contact lens issues during lunch or break going forward?

The teacher wasn’t bothered when your child was not learning for a full day due to broken glasses so they need to suck it up with the lenses. Perhaps you could get some eye drops if they feel funny…could be just dry eyes. Ask the teacher if they want him to learn…or not!
jist because someone is a teacher does not make them better than anyone else or give them a right to be an arsehole.

That said, if he’s getting on fine with them at home but needed to remove them 4x in 10 days during class time I would be starting to wonder if he’s genuinely struggling with them at school or using them as an excuse for a bit of ‘time out’.

This was my first thought too. If he's genuinely fine at home then why is he apparently having so many problems with them at school? Yes the teachers message was quite blunt but she's probably also beginning to suspect he's starting to use it as a convenient reason to leave the classroom every other day.

That message is rude. It doesn't take long to type, hi, hope you're well. Ending with I hope you can support in this matter. Kind regards....

It's just common decency and professional decorum more importantly. I don't buy all this teachers are too busy to email, or to chase up parents about concerns, etc. It's part of their job remit.

I think you're being completely unreasonable if you expect school staff to constantly have to take time to deal with your son's contact lenses. They really really do not have time for that and it's also very distracting for the teacher having to have lessons interrupted.

I also don't think the message was rude. Teachers aren't customer service reps who can be expected to be smiling and polite all of the time. It was professional, clear and to the point.