To think this teacher was rude ?

[Goolagoo]

I’ll start by saying I’m a teacher myself so I understand how - for want of a better word - annoying it is when children are in and out of lessons.

My son is in y5. He has a very high prescription for his glasses . He’s also very clumsy ! He has had to be picked up from school a few times because of his glasses being broken - even the spare - and he can’t see barely a thing without them so they have to be fixed straight away . A few times this has been in PE that they have been broken. One time another child hit him , they broke , and my son was put in isolation for hitting him back and no one told us - he sat their all afternoon being unable to see ( the optician said they needed fixing straight away as not wearing them is a massive strain ) . There have been times no one has told us they are broken and he has been left like it all day and even shouted at for not reading - when he couldn’t see !

Hes quite self conscious so the optician suggested contacts. He was keen , he’s done really well , it’s only been a few weeks and we thought this takes away the problem of the glasses being broken . However , a few times over the past 2 weeks they have felt funny in his eyes or moved and he’s had to take them out ( he’s gone to the head , who is very supportive and wears contacts and said he would help him ) . He told us that his teacher said if he left class again he wouldn’t be “ allowed “ to wear contacts at school and also told him he only has 30 seconds to take them out . He’s a quiet boy so this has upset him ( he also has great attendance and is doing very well academically) .

I have had a message form her saying “ Hi , can DC stick to glasses at school as he sometimes can’t take them out and then can’t see “ - no reasons as to why it’s beneficial to him etc , not even a thank you just a blunt message . Bearing in mind he can always take them out it’s just a few times - maybe 3 / 4 in 2 weeks - that he has needed support . The head has no problem and has said they will do everything they can to support him and that they think it’s a great idea .

This message from his teacher has really angered me - I find it rude that she thinks she can just decide that he can’t wear contacts to school !

👏👏👏👏

@spirit20 at 13.03. I’m in total agreement.

People don't wear high prescription glasses by personal preference, it is a medical need.

Apologies, you're right, there's a 'not' missing from my above post. I should have said 'there is no medical reason for him NOT to wear glasses apart from his own personal preference' (and choosing to wear contacts instead).

My point was that the child is choosing to wear contacts, which is causing an issue, when there's no actual medial reason for him not to wear glasses, just his own personal preference.

Hopefully that was clear from reading the rest of my post, but I do see why that sentence above would have seemed unreasonable.

I apologise, I thought the lack of empathy in that statement was eye raising, even by MN standards! But the addition of a "not" makes a huge difference.

@frightenedmum1 at 12.52 and 13.08. 👏 Nailed it. Medical professionals deal with people on a 1:1 basis, not 25 - 30 simultaneously to achieve the best for each and every person.

Great way to twist my words. Of course children should have accommodations for their eyesight. It's called...glasses.

The teacher was rude.

If your son's eyesight is so poor that he cannot function without glasses or contact lenses, then that would be classed as a disability. I'd be replying stating the need for a reasonable adjustment to be made for your son to remove/adjust his lenses, as per the 2010 Equalities act. This is disability discrimination.

Except for the fact that when he wore glasses he wasn't able to see for the rest of school day. He even got in trouble for it.How is that any better?

I’m so glad a trained ophthalmologist has arrived to tell us which accommodation this boy needs for his eyesight. That should settle the issue.

That incident, according to the OP, happened when he broke his glasses. If he regularly breaks his glasses, then the OP could easily leave a spare pair with the school.

Under normal circumstances, wearing glasses means he can read perfectly, going by what OP has said. It's only when he chooses to wear contacts that issues arise, which OP is unreasonably and unrealistically expecting the school to facilitate, and completely ignoring the danger of an issue arising when no one is available at the school to deal with it.

He can't see. I will never understand why glasses or contacts aren't seen as important as any other disability aid. If a child was getting used to a new prosthetic leg that will aid them better in the long run, they'd be given all the damn time they need. Yeah they could use the crutches they always did which does work but has its own set of problems just as your son's glasses do.
Your some is needing help at school getting used to his chosen disability aid.

Not necessarily at all. I've worn contacts for over 20 years and I still have occasional times when I struggle getting them in and out. Generally when away from home - so in a different bathroom where the angles are all different or when I'm under time pressure.
So it is quite reasonable the OP's son is comfortable at home but not so much at school with his teacher breathing down his neck giving him a ridiculous time limit of 30 seconds.

What led me to doubt was specifically this: "but the way it was wrote was more a demand".

Sorry the message was exactly that but instead of “them” it was “ the contacts”

@Goolagoo
Hi there, speaking as a teacher myself, I agree that your son's teacher's email was very blunt, borderline rude & unecessary!

Putting it into perspective, he's a 10yr old, in the last couple of weeks of the Primary School year - he's not going to miss vital learning or disrupt the entire class by having to nip out every now & then! He's trying his hardest to get used to wearing contacts for the 1st time, to avoid the previous glasses issues & make the long term situation better for everyone. It's natural that he'll have a few issues to begin with & considering how serious his eyesight condition is, it's a valid medical issue that she HAS TO support.

What a huge fuss over nothing - on the teacher's part! You're a better person than me because I'd have forwarded her email to the Head, along with some strong words!!

I agree, and nearly commented myself, but then wondered if the OP had originally put 'the teacher wrote' and then had changed it to the passive voice but had forgotten to change 'wrote ' to 'written'. It does cast doubts, though.

@liverpoolnana not all teachers excel at SPAG. It's a thing(for various reasons).

Yes , I am a teacher . Apologies for the grammar mistake 🙄 , but believe it or not teachers don’t actually excel at every single subject they teach . We’re not taught the entire curriculum during our training - we’re taught how to teach it . Shockingly , I do get things wrong …. don’t ask me to tell you with confidence the correct meaning for homophones and synonyms - I will get them mixed up - and don’t get me started on angles! I hope this has cleared up the doubt in your mind that I am simply impersonating a teacher !

I don’t understand why so many people are saying he should ‘just’ wear his glasses! Did they not read the OP as to all the times they got broken and then he couldn’t see?!

I think if the teacher wants to insist he wears his glasses, she needs to come up with a plan for how to protect them from getting broken!

Just an update .

I received a message from the teacher , she apologised and said she hadn’t realised that his glasses had been breaking in school and that she now understood that it was the best thing for him . It was a very polite and professional message .

I would like to clarify that I did not mention her message to any other member of staff either . She is new and part time so maybe it all just hadn’t been relayed to her.