To think this teacher was rude ?

[Goolagoo]

I’ll start by saying I’m a teacher myself so I understand how - for want of a better word - annoying it is when children are in and out of lessons.

My son is in y5. He has a very high prescription for his glasses . He’s also very clumsy ! He has had to be picked up from school a few times because of his glasses being broken - even the spare - and he can’t see barely a thing without them so they have to be fixed straight away . A few times this has been in PE that they have been broken. One time another child hit him , they broke , and my son was put in isolation for hitting him back and no one told us - he sat their all afternoon being unable to see ( the optician said they needed fixing straight away as not wearing them is a massive strain ) . There have been times no one has told us they are broken and he has been left like it all day and even shouted at for not reading - when he couldn’t see !

Hes quite self conscious so the optician suggested contacts. He was keen , he’s done really well , it’s only been a few weeks and we thought this takes away the problem of the glasses being broken . However , a few times over the past 2 weeks they have felt funny in his eyes or moved and he’s had to take them out ( he’s gone to the head , who is very supportive and wears contacts and said he would help him ) . He told us that his teacher said if he left class again he wouldn’t be “ allowed “ to wear contacts at school and also told him he only has 30 seconds to take them out . He’s a quiet boy so this has upset him ( he also has great attendance and is doing very well academically) .

I have had a message form her saying “ Hi , can DC stick to glasses at school as he sometimes can’t take them out and then can’t see “ - no reasons as to why it’s beneficial to him etc , not even a thank you just a blunt message . Bearing in mind he can always take them out it’s just a few times - maybe 3 / 4 in 2 weeks - that he has needed support . The head has no problem and has said they will do everything they can to support him and that they think it’s a great idea .

This message from his teacher has really angered me - I find it rude that she thinks she can just decide that he can’t wear contacts to school !

I didn't know the correction lenses were a thing until this thread so I'll be looking into them.

Just thought I'd chip in with others and say that if the lenses are moving frequently then they may not be the right type. When I started using them I was given the soft version that is a newer thing. After a couple of weeks my vision was awful with them because after a short time with them in they were moving slightly when my eyes became dry. They were very irritating like your sun describes, like sand in the eye or something. Swapped to the old fashioned harder type (although not like my mum used to wear that were very rigid) and not had an issue since. I'm not time I get irritation is when I have had them in for more than a full day. Have a chat with his optician

Son obviously

Reply back:

No. His glasses have been broken too.many times, and he has been left close to blind for large portions of the day which has caused obvious distress. We have worked with optician and SLT at the school to come up with an appropriate solution which is contact lenses. We have the support of the head for this. The more he practices, the less time he will need for additional support. Which, as I am sure you agree, is going to ensure he has a less disrupted school experience going forward. We appreciate your continued support with this reasonable accomodation.

CC in the headteacher if needed.

Not the point of the thread but I started wearing contract lenses in year 5 and I've been told now it was too young. I've had issues with my eyes starting to 'reject' contact lenses and the optician said it's because they're meant to be worn more short term i.e. not decades!

Not at all. You wouldn't expect the parent of a child with incontinence or diabetes to lose sleep at night because other children might want to go out because their child does would you? Of course not, they would want their child's needs to be met according to the medical professionals advice. Nothing shameful in that.

What would be shameful, is a teacher that can't handle the "chain reaction " and expect the child with a specific need to manage himself better to make her life easier!

Honestly it sounds like the teacher is getting quite easily irritated by your son. If it weren't close to the end of school id suggest a face to face with teacher and head to iron out an agreed written plan for his eyesight care at school so he knows where he stands and you can explain the rationale for contacts.
As it is really close to the end of term and will be having new teacher, just email back saying contacts are preferable due to his high prescription and multiple broken glasses at school, and you will be continuing this. At the start of next term meet with new teacher and head and make a good plan of what to do at school if contacts are lost etc.

Maybe he needs to become more proficient in managing his lenses.

Re what I quoted, I don't mean to nitpick but didn't you say you're a teacher?

Don’t be obtuse, You know very well what I mean about the chain reaction of which you speak.
Does your child NEED to wear contact lenses in school for the next few weeks or is it a choice? Will spectacles not suffice until your child can work through a school day without the need to attend to contact lenses? Admittedly the spectacles do not afford perfect vision however they do allow him to remain in situ for the whole of class time, plus it’s only for a few weeks,
Whilst contact lenses might be advantageous, is it imperative that they are the sole means? Is the optometrist demanding your son only wears contact lenses?
Now? So far you’ve mentioned a brief note which you found rude, the head’s support, the head’s feedback when you’ve contacted the school following the message, the “lively element” in the class whose issues are not your concern (oh!), the optometrist, broken spectacles, academic remove (isolation in this school?). I have some sympathy but your son’s teacher has tried, has been amenable, and is now asking you to assist her.
Don’t die on this hill, OP. Don’t be “that parent”.

Yes, she's a teacher. She understands she has to interact with parents in a professional manner. A professional manner does not mean being flippant.

How offensive. I’m assuming you’re not a teacher, are not experienced in keeping the focus of 20 - 30 students simultaneously, particularly if there’s an element which is less that cooperative.
Do correct me if I’m wrong. Otherwise keep schtum.

Shocked other teachers think that making an adjustment (one that doesn’t take the attention of the teacher at all) to accommodate a disability is such an unreasonable request? A medical professional recommended the aid (contacts). Your son is getting used to them. It is not up to the teacher to decide whether the aid if working and/or allowed!

I had similar issues in high school when they would get annoyed that I could walk up stairs (no lift, literally just 3 flights of stairs in busy crowded corridors that they wanted me to attempt). Doctors said I couldn’t use the stairs. Every week or so, one teacher would complain because I hadn’t attended her class… one which she had moved from the normal room to the top of the tower of stairs. She would say that I was missing too much class… something I couldn’t help!

I am a teacher btw. Disabled teacher who understands that health comes before education.

It's 10 minutes for hm to be out of class, not 10 minutes of the head's time.

It seems clear that there is more to this than just a case of glasses being more convenient than contacts. The contacts seem to be important for this child's comfort and self-esteem, and in terms of his not constantly losing out on education because the glasses are broken or because he has to go out for optician's appointments. It's definitely within the realms of reasonable adjustments for disability, which is what is required of schools anyway as a matter of law.

What has this got to do with the post? It's idle to deny that there are poor quality teachers out there, and it's silly to say no-one can criticise a poor teacher unless they've done it themselves.

Well, yes, he does need it. An expert optician has advised that it is required. Who are you or, indeed, the teacher to say he is wrong?

The problem with the glasses is that they don't allow OP's child to stay in class time, because they keep getting broken and he can't work without them, and this also means he has to visit the optician. It wouldn't be so bad if teachers would actually contact OP when they got broken and didn't leave her son sitting unable to do anything for hours, and it would especially help if they didn't tell him off for being unable to read without glasses. As they don't seem to be able to comply with basic instructions for the use of glasses then they have to put up with him getting acclimatised to contacts.

Teachers who try to scare parents off from advocating for their children with the "that parent" mantra really should be ashamed of themselves. The reality is all too often that they are saying "Close your eyes to our failures or we'll victimise both you and your child". You should celebrate parents prepared to be "that parent" for keeping you up to the mark.

It seems like many teachers do not want accountability. I'm sorry, you're providing a service and if it's not up to scratch, why should you not be held to account? There a lots of amazing teachers working under pressure with little resources and funding, however, there are incompetent teachers too. It's just reality. And parents feel scared to be "that parent" or the object of staffroom gossip (how sad that many of them gossip incessantly about children and their families - I've seen it for myself).

And guess what, yes, I was a teacher, PGCE from IoE!

So the class teacher, it is now suggested, is incompetent?
😂
Perhaps she’s working really hard and striving for the best for each and every student in her classroom. How about that for an idea?
Perhaps this child could wear contact lenses for P.E. only.
The optician “suggested”, not advised, contact lenses.
Whilst I agree that placing him in a situation when he couldn’t see properly and was admonished for it was wrong and indefensible, the OP could have directly contacted the class teacher following the message and formulated a solution as a way forward.
If this is a teacher bashing thread I’ll leave you to it. You never know what you had until you lost it. Think of how many are leaving the profession and wonder why…

Are you really a teacher and happy for your child not to be able to see some days at school?

Practice the contact lenses at the weekend and send your child to school in glasses until they are used to them.

I cant believe your concern is whether an email is curt or not. What about your child's disrupted learning.

Her son spent more time not being able to see when wearing glasses that kept getting broken than in fixing his new contacts.

Why should the OP risk her son's eye health because the teacher doesn't want to make reasonable adjustments that the head supports.

Yes he does . But he needs time for that , which is what we are giving him .

Yes , I am a teacher .

Have you read the post ? No I am not happy about him not being able to see - which is why he is wearing contacts !

I am in shock that many are mentioning the few times he has been out of a lesson as though it is a huge disruption, yet it doesn’t seem to raise an eyebrow that he has been left for the entire day , on more than one occasion , with no glasses and no way to see because the school have not called me and he has been shouted at for not doing his work .

Not once have I said she is incompetent.

“That parent” - you mean one that advocates for their child ? I will be “that parent” with no shame .

Firstly , please enlighten me on the support that has already been given by the teacher , as you say she has tried ?

If it’s “ only a few weeks “ then why should it be my child who goes without something beneficial for his comfort and his health ? It’s “ only a few weeks” so why can’t the teacher just put up with him popping out occasionally if he’s uncomfortable, it’s only a few weeks !

I did contact. No reply. So I spoke to SLT , was assured this wouldn’t happen again . It did .

Your child has to be able to see in school. His glasses have been broken more than once so contact lenses are a great solution. The settling in time being end of summer term is surely the best time and by the time summer is over he shouldn't need to take them out in school very often at all. As head teacher supportive there is nothing you should change.

@Goolagoo I'd use the points in this excellent post to craft a reply to the teacher if I were you.