To think this teacher was rude ?

[Goolagoo]

I’ll start by saying I’m a teacher myself so I understand how - for want of a better word - annoying it is when children are in and out of lessons.

My son is in y5. He has a very high prescription for his glasses . He’s also very clumsy ! He has had to be picked up from school a few times because of his glasses being broken - even the spare - and he can’t see barely a thing without them so they have to be fixed straight away . A few times this has been in PE that they have been broken. One time another child hit him , they broke , and my son was put in isolation for hitting him back and no one told us - he sat their all afternoon being unable to see ( the optician said they needed fixing straight away as not wearing them is a massive strain ) . There have been times no one has told us they are broken and he has been left like it all day and even shouted at for not reading - when he couldn’t see !

Hes quite self conscious so the optician suggested contacts. He was keen , he’s done really well , it’s only been a few weeks and we thought this takes away the problem of the glasses being broken . However , a few times over the past 2 weeks they have felt funny in his eyes or moved and he’s had to take them out ( he’s gone to the head , who is very supportive and wears contacts and said he would help him ) . He told us that his teacher said if he left class again he wouldn’t be “ allowed “ to wear contacts at school and also told him he only has 30 seconds to take them out . He’s a quiet boy so this has upset him ( he also has great attendance and is doing very well academically) .

I have had a message form her saying “ Hi , can DC stick to glasses at school as he sometimes can’t take them out and then can’t see “ - no reasons as to why it’s beneficial to him etc , not even a thank you just a blunt message . Bearing in mind he can always take them out it’s just a few times - maybe 3 / 4 in 2 weeks - that he has needed support . The head has no problem and has said they will do everything they can to support him and that they think it’s a great idea .

This message from his teacher has really angered me - I find it rude that she thinks she can just decide that he can’t wear contacts to school !

A phone call would have been much better in this situation.

Completely agree. Days are hard enough without having a regular problem such as this (do sympathise with your son though).

Out of interest which year do you teach?

I think y5 is far too young to be dealing with contacts and this has been shown with lesson time being missed. I agree with the teacher. It'll take them away from other kids when they have to re explain things to your child.

It sounds to me like his teacher is long term supply to fill a gap and that this teacher has absolutely no interest in what is best for the students. If the head is supportive then I would just carry on as you have agreed.

It's obviously beneficial to have glasses in school so he can see clearly, did the teacher say to you he wouldn't be allowed contacts and had 30 seconds? Sounds a bit like a panicked child's take on it. I'm a teacher too but I'm not really understanding your anger. Do class teachers usually message parents directly, that's unheard of where I am. Office task or management team. Hope he gets a lens that feels comfortable or can just take spare glasses daily too.

I have just left teaching but when I was a teacher, I would not have sent such a bluntly worded email as it does just come across as rude! I can see why they are making the request because as you have acknowledged yourself, pupils frequently leaving the classroom can be disruptive; but it certainly could have been worded better.

If I had been making such a request; it would either have been because I was concerned about the amount of lesson time he was missing or because I was worried he was struggling with them in a school environment and might need a bit more practice at home.

“Dear OP

I hope you are well and enjoying the recent warm weather we’ve been having.

I just wanted to pass on my concerns about your son’s contact lenses. I am worried about <insert problem> and was wondering if it would be possible to <insert solution>.

Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help and if you’d like a call to discuss this further.

Thanks You
Teacher

A fairly standard, non threatening, non judgemental email that opens the lines for communication.

well the optician seems to think different . He’s not wearing them because of feeling shame

Well , I only have his word but as it coincided with the message and that the head said to him “ when she says 30 seconds she doesn’t actually mean 30 seconds so don’t worry you don’t have to rush” then I assume she did . He always has his glasses in school. She said he’s struggling getting them out when they irritate him - he has said it’s only taken him a few minutes when he comes out of class and the head said he’s been amazing at getting them out … all this makes me think that it’s not as big as she makes out .

She has taken over the class mid year , part time . There are other issues in class and i get the impression they’re a lively class . I’m in a similar situation in my job so I know it’s hard so I don’t know if it’s just feeling bigger to her because of the pressure .

As a teacher you know how important it is for a child not to miss time in a lesson, that the head’s promises are often delegated (can you guarantee this is not happening here?), that teachers work incredibly long hours. Time in a classroom is the tip of the iceberg - unless you work in a school it’s difficult to appreciate. You’re surprised to be contacted by school at 10pm. I’m not.
Let’s look at your professional situation as an effective parallel. What happens to the child who leaves your lessons for eye drops? Does the child deal with this himself/herself? Is the head or a TA involved? How do you assist the child in making up for lost time? If there were an alternative solution, would you suggest this to the parent? Though now retired, I would have done.
Yes, your child’s teacher got to the point. She likely doesn’t have time for niceties. Had she have given reasons and explanations, you might then have argued against them. Would you? I think you would.

No , the contacts were recommended . What I should have typed in my post was “ he’s quite self conscious so when the optician suggested contacts , he was keen “ .

I have always assured him glasses are fine and he looks amazing etc . I wear glasses myself , can’t be doing with contacts . But the optician recommended and pointed out a lot of benefits . He has a high prescription, very high , his leads are so strong . Any time he takes them off , it is a strain. He wears his glasses so much that he has marks on his face , he can never have a break except when he sleeps . He also has the added pressure of the side or below his glasses being very blurry , so no it’s not cosmetic at all . I was shocked at the suggestion as I never even knew children wore contacts .

I would have replied in the same way , said I understood but outlined my reasons . Said the same - if it continued being disruptive , if this is still happening in September then obviously something needs to change but I’m not giving up 2 weeks in .

Yes I know it will be her , it is me with the child in my class who has to catch them up . But I know this is the best for that child so I wouldn’t question the parents judgement . I also know that most teaching within schools at this point in the year is non statutory or catching up on things for the schools data .

To all those saying he should just wear his glasses whats the big deal, unless you have experience if being very short sighted or visually impaired, you have NO IDEA how hard life is for this little boy. The teacher was rude and insensitive. Hopefully after the summer and some practice the contacts will settle OP.

Thank you x

I would look into the nighttime contacts as suggested by a pp. Really strong prescriptions come with a risk of detached retina and other serious conditions. Now is the time to do this as his prescription will probably worsen until puberty. The night time contacts can stop any further deterioration

But really this should be treated like any other disability or health condition. Letting him deal with his lenses is a reasonable adjustment. It's not up to the teacher to have any say on management of his eye condition! Chances are he'll get used to them and it won't be an issue in a few weeks anyway

This is exactly my thinking and better that he’s used to them in school when he starts a brand new school year!

You are the second to say about these - do they wear them overnight and then different ones in the day ?

I would also like to add that I know from reports , parents evenings etc that he is not a child that needs that constant prompting . He always completes his work , he’s hit all his targets and more . I wonder if maybe it’s making other children want to get out of work - like asking for the toilet / water etc and saying “ but he is allowed to leave” . I know there is usually a chain reaction when a child leaves class in my class . But , in the nicest way if it is that …. That’s not my concern .

Your child’s teacher has indicated that his wearing of contact lenses is not ideal, that she would like you to accommodate her request until the end of year (which is another four weeks where I live). Instead of taking exception to her brevity, and going over her by contacting the head, can’t you find a solution with your child: at home discuss the issue with the lenses whilst in school, practise taking them out and putting them in until he can do this quickly and seamlessly? Why is it not a problem at home but it is in school - consider that, please.
Come on, OP. You know what it’s like to give 1:1 attention to a single child which can signal to the “lively element” an easy get out from focus and attention.
Has she performed well? Support her.
And, no, FYI I did teach the syllabus until the very last lesson of the school year.

To the pp asking why he has trouble at school but not at home, this could be for any number of reasons. Maybe his seat is by the window and and the breeze irritates his lenses (more than once the wind has blown my lenses clean out my eyes!), maybe he's been running around at break and now his eyes have gone watery, making the lenses move about a bit. Maybe there's more dust in the classroom than at home. Etc etc.

OP I think your son is doing really well, it's not easy learning how to remove and put in lenses for someone so young. It's good the headteacher is being supportive. Afterall, he is only at the very beginning of his contact lens wearing journey, it does take time to get used to them. I think the teacher is being unfair.

On a practical note OP, would your son try eye drops? I never used to get on with them but recently bought some with good reviews from amazon, and every time my lenses start to feel uncomfortable they seem to help settle them.

I know there is usually a chain reaction when a child leaves class in my class . But , in the nicest way if it is that …. That’s not my concern .
If I’ve read this correctly, shame on you.

Why? For putting her son and his needs first? For continuing on the path agreed with her son's medical professional and SLT?

What exactly is shameful there?

My teenager has the overnight contact lenses and they're life-changing. No more worrying about glasses being smashed in PE and no more having a sweaty face in hot weather are the main two pluses here but things like being able to go swimming and see at the same time are another benefit as is being able to see the board from anywhere in the classroom.

My DC puts the ortho-k lenses in at night and removes them first thing in the morning. Once the eyes have got used to them, morning vision is 20:20 so there's no need for corrective lenses or glasses during the day time. I think of them as being similar to orthodontic retainers; instead of pulling the teeth back into position overnight, the lenses reshape the eyeball overnight.

It’s shameful to not be concerned if there is a chain reaction of pupils wanting to leave the classroom.
Of course, as a parent, OP will put her son and his needs first. We all, hopefully, do but it has to be remembered that he is one of many others in this classroom.

Why ? Because I won’t let issues by other children override my own child’s needs?

Goolagoo, I would just ignore some pp. There's a group of posters in this site that think teachers can do no wrong (most must be teachers themselves). But since you're a teacher, and I've come from a family of teachers, we know there are many incompetent teachers who definitely should not be in schools! But some people on this site only see parents as the problem.