Wedding invitation asking for cash gifts in advance

[FishPhoods]

We are invited to a good friends wedding next summer. The invitation has arrived today, the wedding is going to be at a country house quite a fancy one, and there's a card for a gift list.

I usually do give cash these days so not sure if IABU to find this offensive:

"To our lovely guests. We really hope you can join us on our special day. We ask that you don't bring any gifts on the day, but would prefer for those of you that choose to give a gift, that you make a cash donation ahead of September 1st 2024 which will help to contribute towards the celebration. All our love"

I think it's the fact they're having what seems to be an expensive wedding and asking the guests to pay towards it - is this the done thing these days??

Exactly this! All these posts saying asking for what you actually want, when it's stated there's no need to give anything anyway is tacky! I disagree. Giving what YOU want, not caring that the RECEIVER actually wants it is tacky.
Honestly in this day and age waste is obnoxious. So what if they're seeing if gifts means they can afford a more fancy wedding?
Seems perfectly sensible. Get gifted £5k? Great country house it is. No gifts? Fine, see you at the registry office and the pub.
What the hell is wrong with that?
100% better than getting into debt and having 42 kettles.

I would but I've got more important things to do - like watch paint dry

Well thanks for your contribution

I think that's cheeky - especially putting the date in! Normally you'd go to the wedding with the cash in a card? Not hand it over several months in front?

I do give cash at weddings and we wanted it for ours too. But we waited for people to approach the mothers about a wedding list and then they said we'd like cash. After people had already asked - not actively seeking out donations!

@FishPhoods
I've been to about 5 Spanish weddings and I'll be at my 6th later this year. It's the done thing in Spain, it's expected. They send out bank details on the invites.

Being British I was a bit taken aback at first, but actually think it's a good way to do it. You do contribute to the day in the end, but there's usually endless amounts of food and a free bar all day and night. Quite a nice way to celebrate with friends and beats buying a set of dishes or cutlery.

I understand everyone can afford varying amounts, so you can give varying amounts. Weddings are never cheap, whether you get a gift or not.