To think this is inappropriate for teachers

[irishchick93]

Hi. My sons classmates parents are having all the teachers around to the house for end of year dinner. I'm a bit miffed as to why. Maybe it's me but I think it's not very appropriate?

I remember my mum and dad hosting a drinks party for my class teacher and head of primary, along with the parents from the class when I was young. It was the done thing when you were class rep. Private school. All schools are different.

It’s probably not true

post back again after the event

OP suggests this is hush hush for some reason.

If they are friends already outside of school then it’s absolutely understandable, and if not then it’s unusual but it does sound like you are having an emotional response to something that you are leaning in actions towards creating politics about.

Best not to try and involve yourself via judgements and the power struggles it can create around the people you are interested in.

On the other hand you can always
ask the parent directly why they are inviting the teachers but if you do be prepared to take responsibility and not offence if they give you a boundary or a response you don’t like.

I may have read your post wrong OP but it does sounds from your post like you are looking to create politics though you probably don’t see it as anything more then just wanting to know if it’s somehow unfair to you, and possibly others.

YA absolutely BU
Good luck with letting this go and focusing your energy on something healthy, positive and beneficial.

Being blunt- and you did ask opinion:
It’s good you caught yourself before you started something that you may end up asking why you’ve become the victim of.

Another perspective on the motivation and intentions of the other party could be purely innocent with no personal expectations:
Some people, not many, but some seem born and passionate about opening metaphorical doors for others and connecting people together for altruistic reasons, eg: like teachers and opportunities to meet influential people they wouldn’t necessarily mix with outside of work.

These people are good to know, they might introduce you to people that could potentially positively help you in some way or enrich you life experience.

Try the benefit of doubt if you can first?

Could it be teachers want their privacy and don’t wish their personal lives on display for judgment perhaps?

In adults with personal autonomy no one has a right to another’s personal life and choices, one can react to information, and how one reacts defines only the person reacting.

you choose how you wish to move forward and no one else. Think cause and affect. What are your goals here and where are they born from?

Are you honest with yourself and your motives or in denial. Is your behaviour healthy or a historic behavioural pattern? If all the above answers are positive and healthy then that’s a great help moving forward. I guess that’s why you’re on here asking the question? 🤷‍♀️

Head of the PTA by any chance, head fundraiser? At the end of term all teachers want to do is lie in a darkened room for 48 hours! I would hate this!!

Im confused, so op is saying the parent has invited ALL the school staff? They have no known connections to each other..

Just can’t imagine any of my sons teachers fancying it..or I wanting to
do it. Just sounds like there’s a blank bit I am missing.

If you look at just the OP's posts, she says "These parents who have no connection to any teachers have invited members of the board of governors and all the teaching staff to a dinner party in their home for end of year thank you"

OP has not given further information about the sort of school it is.

Well no “known” connection to the op.

I don’t get that every teaching person in that school feels completely happy going to a house of a parent they don’t know for a soirée.

Most of the teachers at our school would probably hide behind a pillar in Tesco if they saw us outside of school. Well maybe an exaggeration, an awkward hello yes more if it’s my sons teacher…but certainly not pop over drinks at 5.

This is so weird that's like a patient inviting all the gps around for tea or a customer inviting the Tesco staff round for tea. I don't even accept Facebook friend requests from customers. Yanbu op that is really weird and crosses a massive boundary

Quite. There are reasons most teachers live away from the school they work in!

Now my sons have both left Primary I can have an easy chat with some of the teachers/staff I see around (the swimming pool, helping at running club). I'm still not inviting them round for dinner though!
It's easier to see secondary school teachers out and about because they generally have looser interactions with both the pupil and the parents and I think both parties know it would be bad form to start yabbering away about school or your child. Again.....also not inviting them to dinner.

When I was a child my brother who was 9 years older than me was goong out with a student teacher. He had a birthday party at our house (might’ve been his 18th) and one of his girlfriend’s friends who came to the party turned out to be a student teacher at my school. She got very drunk and ended up sitting on my bed and vomiting into a bin. Awkward 🤣

This is fun! This thread is now starting to remind me of a play I was once in about the Salem Witch Trials, turned out the witches were innocent and the villagers were all the guilty ones! Who would have seen that coming!🤷‍♀️🤯💨
I’ve made popcorn and got a free front row seat!
The teachers haven’t even done anything yet. This is good.
Maybe it’s set in a world where private lives are only for the well off and everyone is subject to an inquisition….A world were professionalism doesn’t exist hey? Perhaps this is real life in some countries! 😯🫢😲
🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeah very unusual, assuming this is a private school? I can’t imagine all the teachers in my kids school accepting an invite to come to mine for dinner! Though they wouldn’t fit in my flat, only room for 2 at the breakfast bar

These responses are bizarre.
Yes OP, it is weird. Very unprofessional. I don't know a single teacher who would go along to an event like this.

Well I find your response really weird. My DF belonged to a group that many teachers also belonged to, and they used to socialise together often - and sometimes I would be there too, while still at school. I'm pretty sure a teacher or two came to our house as well.

Why don’t you ask your friend the connection?

@irishchick93 It’s a bit strange, but I don’t understand why you are ‘miffed’?

I’ve always understood miffed to be confused rather than annoyed.

Also I’d have to say it’s a very odd situation UNLESS one of the teachers is friends with said parents in which case not so odd

I’ve always understood miffed to be confused rather than annoyed.

Well it seems there are 2 of you that think that

Are you certain this was happening/actually happened? Some of the kids in my class “invite” me to their house all the time, I play along with it as does a few other teachers. We talk about having chicken nuggets and chips with ice cream for pudding.

Miffed means pissed off.

This ⬆️
Weird concept I know but in some cultures they actually respect teachers and show gratitude.

@irishchick93

I work in a school & this is really bloody weird! Our SLT wouldn't allow it. 100%.

If the odd member of staff is genuinely friends with parents, then of course they can meet up socially, outside of school - I certainly do, as my child went to the school I work at.

However, if it's more of an organised 'event' for all the teachers, many of whom aren't personally friends with the parents in question, then absolutely not - it's really inappropriate.