To think this is inappropriate for teachers

[irishchick93]

Hi. My sons classmates parents are having all the teachers around to the house for end of year dinner. I'm a bit miffed as to why. Maybe it's me but I think it's not very appropriate?

As a parent and a teacher, I find this very odd and inappropriate. This is a parent not really understanding how teachers' mind work. Most teachers I know wouldn't go.

It's a bit drip feed here @irishchick93.

Is it all the teachers in the school? Just the year group he is in? Are the teachers from a cultural background where this is the normal way of saying thank you?

What are you actual concerns here for your child? Do you think the child will be looked on more favourably in some way than all the other children in that year/school? What would this look like and how do you think it will affect the other children?

The story is. These parents who have no connection to any teachers have invited members of the board of governors and all the teaching staff to a dinner party in their home for end of year thank you.

My "friend" the teacher is going because everyone else is but they also think it's weird especially in a small school

A TEACHER, who happens to be a FRIEND...

So it is possible and appropriate for these things to coexist.

OK let's say from the age difference most teachers in this school are 50-60. Parents hosting the party are mid 30s. THEY ONLY KNOW EACH OTHER VIA THE CHILDREN

Both my parents were teachers.

It's wasn't uncommon to find teachers in line and my siblings schools around for bbqs, the football was on, Christmas - or whatever!

Guess it was different though as they were also teachers inviting teachers rather than my parents inviting our teachers!

Could never address them HH their Christian names though even 20 years after me leaving the school despite being told to 🤔😂

Is this a cultural thing @irishchick93 where the family come from a background where this is seen as the norm? If so, then I understand why they've done it and the governors/teachers have accepted.

I have to say I would not go. Friends who happen to be teachers, yes. Otherwise, my response would be appreciative and thank them but would politely decline. Governor's and SLT however should lead from the front on this.

*A TEACHER, who happens to be a FRIEND...

So it is possible and appropriate for these things to coexist.*

Quite.

Brilliant that your imaginary friend also just thinks the same as you.
And that you didn't say it was her that told you about it. That others a five year old.

THEY ONLY KNOW EACH OTHER VIA THE CHILDREN

You know an awful lot about every single one of them.

Very weird op. I'm surprised the teachers are going tbh you'd think they'd all agree is a bit odd and unprofessional. Can't she just give them a box of biscuits or manky bubble bath that is the norm for end of term thankyous?

To say to the kid 'you aren't supposed to be telling people' proves they know it's very inappropriate.

Taking this at face value, I repeat it's a bloody weird scenario. Every aspect is weird, the invitation, the staff apparently 'all' going, your "friend" for going just because everyone else is. But I still don't get why you would feel miffed or think its inappropriate?
I'd just think the whole lot of them were odd.

This is exactly my point

Teacher here - unless they are friends from before the child started at the school then it’s incredibly unprofessional to go to the home of a student to dine/drink with parents and no one I’ve ever worked with would dream of it! We once left a bar at the end of term night out because a pupils mum was one of the bar staff - it made everyone awkward and unable to relax and be our “out of school” selves 😅

'Guess it was different though as they were also teachers inviting teachers rather than my parents inviting our teachers!'

Well yes of course teachers can invite teachers but parents inviting teachers <and not just one but of all them> reeks of bumlicky desperation tbh.

Yes we once changed our Christmas party venue because we learned there was a mums night planned at the same place.

I don't know why you're continuing to get a hard time after you've clarified things in that post.

I was a teacher for 40 years, and in none of the schools I taught at would this be countenanced. The head would respond to the invitation by thanking them for the kind thought, and explain that it is not something that the school code of practice (or whatever) allows.

As a teacher, I have not been invited by a pupil's parents to dinner but I have heard of parents hosting a drinks & nibbles garden party for all the school's teachers.
The only reason to be miffed (annoyed) is if you feel shown up by those parents. If you have given biscuits/choccies/wine/voucher/card to your DC's teacher(s) then just relax. OR ... plan to host your own event next summer :)
Believe me, teachers very much enjoy the gifts (and are required to report them to the bursar) and perks but we are NOT swayed by them. Usually these come after the grades/reports are posted so are well earned rewards for good work on our part.

Not sure if the OP heard that though.
As it stands, may have just been reported by the son.

And in your 40 years has this ever happened?

I think OP is getting a hard time because it's such a bizarrely unlikely scenario - governing body, leadership team and full teaching staff all invited by new parents and all going?

As a TA this is really unprofessional and we are taught in safeguarding never to ask a child to keep a secret as it encourages them to believe its OK to have secrets with adults who could possibly be grooming them.

lol?? Why is it funny that they’re 5?

Where have they moved from? It might be a cultural difference and the parents haven't realised.

A teacher from South Africa told me it was very normal to have a much more familiar and friendly relationship between teacher and parents back there.

Hahahaha the hypocrisy is strong here.

you have a friend who is a teacher, but you can’t conceive that the parent might be friendly with some of the others?

obviously the staff would not have accepted if they didn’t have some sort of connection with her/felt it was not appropriate.

Teachers are just normal, regular people, @irishchick93.
It isn’t necessary to twist yourself or the situation or the circumstances into a pretzel in order to turn a simple celebratory dinner into something sinister.
In may come as a shock to a few mums, but teachers are just as happy to say goodbye to your child at the end of the term as your child is to say goodbye to them.
It’s just a dinner lol.

My sons classmates parents are having all the teachers around

Your post is very unclear.

Do you mean his classmate's parents (the parents of one classmate?)

As a former teacher, I'd not be happy about being invited by a parent of a 5year old to a party at their house with my colleagues.