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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to expect my 15 year old son NOT to be wanking in front of MY computer in MY living room in the middle of the day when I walk in the front door with his younger siblings???!

280 replies

BloodyHell · 09/04/2008 16:26

Before you all say it's healthy.. it's normal... I know, I KNOW! But it is NOT healthy or normal to have to wonder now what DD (9) is thinking and how the hell to broach the subject with her!!

Fortunately DS (7) has SN was oblivious but DD at the very least, saw him sat there with his jeans round his ankles! We all did! He didn't even make any move to pull them up, I suppose he would have had to expose himself in the process. He jsut said "sorry.. sorry" and waited for me to leave the room so he could run upstairs!

It would have been much easier to have just daughters I swear. Why the HELL couldn't he go and have a wank on his bed! He KNEW we were due back at some point in the afternoon!

Obviously he is appalled and humiliated but as far as I can see he's brought this on himself. This is not the first time I've caught him red-handed; last time it was late at night on the sofa, whilst watching the "free ads" on the porn channels on the telly. On that occasion I said would you PLEASE not wank in my living room!! And certainly not when we're all walking around upstairs still having only just gone up! I was looking for HIS clothes he'd requested for the morning on that occasion.. like a sucker, while he played with it downstairs!

I have just been and shouted at him (rightly or wrongly; I'm angry, that gibes me a right I feel) that I don't want him to use MY WORK COMPUTER for that, even though it is a family computer in all other respects which is fine. But I really DON'T want that on the hard drive. And why the hell do men HAVE to so recklessly take advantage of the oh-so-freely available visual stuff.. can't they just use their imaginations??! (I shouted that at him too!)

I am shuddering that his bare arse has been on this very chair, and his (topically from a thread last night!) "penisy hands" been all over THIS mouse!

Ugh ugh ugh.

He needs to wank.. fine, but I don't see why I should have to keep catching him doing it!! I don't want it to be any of MY buisness but it seems I keep having to be "involved"! And I am SO cross that his younger siblings who are too young (perhaps thankfully) to know what he was doing, had to see him sat there like that!

Bloody men and boys.

OP posts:
Meandmyjoe · 10/04/2008 11:35

HAHAHAHA!

Ah well, my brother was caught about 3 times doing it, once by our grandmother so I suppose it doesn't seem out the ordinary to me! I'm starting to think we were odd teenagers!

SueBaroo · 10/04/2008 11:35

But you could do a crap in the living room and not leave a mess either if you cleared it up.

It's normal and healthy yada yada in the appropriate place. Which is not in a family room with your little sister about to walk in.

The sex analogy has already been mentioned, but seriously, I have sex with my husband, and it's normal and healthy to do so.

But not in Halfords.

Janos · 10/04/2008 11:36

Well...I have done it on a train (And I wasn't that young either) but even then I went into the loo and locked the door!

Point being, it is a PRIVATE activity.

And yes, if your were wondering I did wash my hands afterwards .

nervousal · 10/04/2008 11:37

sorry - I haven't read all of the threads- but to all of you who have said that a quiet word is needed with him re appropriate times and places - I think that if getting caught has taught him anything it'll have taught him that much better than a quiet word would! Poor lad.

Blandmum · 10/04/2008 11:37

Would you do it in the camping section though???? all those picnic chairs, what a turn on

SueBaroo · 10/04/2008 11:38

yes, but it's naughty to do that, and you know it's naughty and that's half the thrill.

Original poster
BloodyHell · 10/04/2008 11:40

Morning Oh these recent posts have had me LOLing Well most of them Kittywise seems slightly bent on painting me as a deranged neurotic banshee who cannot abide the concept of masturbation in any shape or form. Kitty, I DIDN'T shout the "men and porn" line AT him, if it makes you feel better, I shouted it at Mumsnet en masse because I bloody needed to at the time! I shouted something along the lines of (paraphrasing here).. "that is my work computer! I do not wish my hard-drive to contain mutliple images of Jessica Alba doing unspeakable things, to state some of the lesser stuff you were looking at.. and if you want to wank you do it in PRIVATE! And can't you ever just use your imagination??"

And the reason I shouted was because I was angry and upset, primarily because his thoughtlessness had resulted in his nine year old sister witnessing the scene. I'm sure that sometimes you are angry and shout - it's a fairly normal human reaction. Or perhaps you are an android?

LOL at AllFallDown Yes yes I know it was a moment's foolishness in thinking he had time to bash one at as the urge struck - I know that's normal, but I think it's time for him to give some serious thought to less risky impulsive wanks now.

TwentyPence, I am not really sure why his jeans were round his ankles; I didn't ask. If forced to consider, perhaps he is now too well hung to force it through a zipped hole comfortably! (If he takes after his father - exH - this is plausible ) Despite recent near misses I have not actually seen his (DS's!) willy for years. Nor do I want to. Which is partly the point of this thread.

To update, I had no intention of having any further proper convos about it but this morning, when I went into his room to give him some post, I gave him a quick impulsive hug (he looked so childlike clambering around on top if his wardrobe trying to reach something that had fallen behind it, and wearing nowt but his little grey boxers ). He immediately hugged me back and said "Mum.. I'm sorry about yesterday", to which I answered (still hugging him) "It's ok, but you really do need the think about the time and the place so this deosn't keep happening, ok?" He agreed.

Shortly after, downstairs, DH asked him if he'd brought a key downstairs that he'd asked him to.. DS said he couldn't find it and DH drolly commented "..well.. it does make you go blind you, apparently..." to which they both smirked.

So, I'd so no psychological damage done really. Just hoping I'll have no reason to vent about this agin any time soon!

OP posts:
Blandmum · 10/04/2008 11:42

LOL, that sounds like a fab conversation

just for sue, Phew what a little scorcher!

MarsLady · 10/04/2008 11:42

Well done BH! Besides.. so what if he's on the shrink's couch in a few years. Freud says it's all the mother's fault so he may as well get his money's worth!

[disclaimer: for those with humour bypass that was said tongue in cheek]

MarsLady · 10/04/2008 11:43
Janos · 10/04/2008 11:47

Sounds like you handled it perfectly BloodyHell

LOL @ MartianBishop. I admire your robust attitude!

SueBaroo · 10/04/2008 11:47

wonders about MB's prediliction for picnic chairs

Squirdle · 10/04/2008 11:56

You sound as though you have handled it brilliantly and he must be a pretty decent teenager to actually have apologised.

fwiw, I shudder at the thought of my son masturbating, I know he does and it is entirely normal, but I really, really don't want to know about it!!

Meandmyjoe · 10/04/2008 11:57

That's exactly what I meant by bringing up as a joke "making you go blind comment"- sounds like you and dh have handled it fine.

I really think the more light hearted you make these issues, the more he is likely to come to you with problems and worries regarding private stuff or girl troubles later.

Sure he's not too damaged. lol! Just embarrassed and it may have taught him to do it in his bedroom next time!

Squirdle · 10/04/2008 11:58

I am also very grateful that my lounge is quite far away from the front door

RTKangaMummy · 10/04/2008 12:00

BH

cushioncover · 10/04/2008 12:46

I woke up smiling about this thread this morning. I was talking to DH about it and he laughed reminding me how often I have walked in on him and he's way over 15!

BH, I hope you managed to acertain from my posts last night that I never once suggested you were being unreasonable at being annoyed at him. I just took issue with the, 'that's horrific, humiliate him as much as possible,' posts.
Anyway, suffice to say you clearly have an excellent relationship with him if he felt he could apologise this morning. You should be proud.

Judy1234 · 10/04/2008 14:08

That's good, post event comments to him.

kittywise · 10/04/2008 15:02

ok BH point taken, apologies for making you cross. It's great you do have such a good relationship with him

bogie · 10/04/2008 15:16

This thread has really made me laugh I have got pleanty of years left untill I get this ds is only 2

bogie · 10/04/2008 15:16

This thread has really made me laugh I have got pleanty of years left untill I get this ds is only 2

Herecomesthesciencebint · 10/04/2008 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Janos · 10/04/2008 16:33

Heh heh bogie...DS is 3 and already takes a great interest in his willy and what it can do.

Be warned..it starts early!

MadameCh0let · 10/04/2008 20:50

It's great you're all laughing about it only 24 hours later!!

MNersanonymous · 10/04/2008 21:32

ARGH!! This is so awful, and cringeworthy and yet so funny.

Poor you OP. I must say I do feel a tiny bit sorry for him too. It was a stupid thing to do but he's only young. Bet he is never ever ever going to forget this.

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