..to expect my 15 year old son NOT to be wanking in front of MY computer in MY living room in the middle of the day when I walk in the front door with his younger siblings???!

[BloodyHell]

Before you all say it's healthy.. it's normal... I know, I KNOW! But it is NOT healthy or normal to have to wonder now what DD (9) is thinking and how the hell to broach the subject with her!!

Fortunately DS (7) has SN was oblivious but DD at the very least, saw him sat there with his jeans round his ankles! We all did! He didn't even make any move to pull them up, I suppose he would have had to expose himself in the process. He jsut said "sorry.. sorry" and waited for me to leave the room so he could run upstairs!

It would have been much easier to have just daughters I swear. Why the HELL couldn't he go and have a wank on his bed! He KNEW we were due back at some point in the afternoon!

Obviously he is appalled and humiliated but as far as I can see he's brought this on himself. This is not the first time I've caught him red-handed; last time it was late at night on the sofa, whilst watching the "free ads" on the porn channels on the telly. On that occasion I said would you PLEASE not wank in my living room!! And certainly not when we're all walking around upstairs still having only just gone up! I was looking for HIS clothes he'd requested for the morning on that occasion.. like a sucker, while he played with it downstairs!

I have just been and shouted at him (rightly or wrongly; I'm angry, that gibes me a right I feel) that I don't want him to use MY WORK COMPUTER for that, even though it is a family computer in all other respects which is fine. But I really DON'T want that on the hard drive. And why the hell do men HAVE to so recklessly take advantage of the oh-so-freely available visual stuff.. can't they just use their imaginations??! (I shouted that at him too!)

I am shuddering that his bare arse has been on this very chair, and his (topically from a thread last night!) "penisy hands" been all over THIS mouse!

Ugh ugh ugh.

He needs to wank.. fine, but I don't see why I should have to keep catching him doing it!! I don't want it to be any of MY buisness but it seems I keep having to be "involved"! And I am SO cross that his younger siblings who are too young (perhaps thankfully) to know what he was doing, had to see him sat there like that!

Bloody men and boys.

And I also agree with BH in that she shouldn't have to tell her 9 yr old daughter about masturbation. Why would you tell a 9 yr old about that!!

I think I'd have been the same as BH, been a bit cross that he had been so thoughtless, but would have said nothing more. He knows he is wrong.

I didn't mean you were harping on about it, I mentioned that beacuse other posters were suggesting embarrassing ways of mentioning it to them. Probably many of them don't have teenage sons themselves. It's a funny age 14/15 isn't it

And I've got 2 more sons to go through this with in 9 and 11 yrs time!

mentioning it to him not them

Maybe he...er... wanted to be caught.

Think you've handled it marvelously

Bloodyhell -- God, you sound like you have your head screwed on!! What a great last post.

This has been a very, very funny thread (even if unintentionally so at the start). Heated, that's just about the funniest thing I have heard in a very long time!!

Erm, even without knowing BH's son, I'm absolutely sure he wouldn't have wanted to be caught!!!

Oh I completely agree that at 15 he should know that wanking in the lounge in the middle of the afternoon when there was a good chance you'd walk in was totally unacceptable. I was just trying to say that,IMO, shaming him (as was repeatedly suggested by other posters) was not the way to go.

When you give sex-ed to your DD is your call. As you say, you know her, I do not. I just find it incredibly bizarre that so many parents talk freely about sex to their children yet never mention masturbation. Surely it's fundamental? And far safer than experimenting with someone else!

Just to add, I give sex-ed to years 5 and 6. We always talk far more indepth about masturbation that sexual intercourse as it, IMO, is far more relevant to an 11yr old.

I tell them its normal, safe, healthy and fun and a great alternative to having sex too early.

than

my ds is also totally thoughtless, takes a telling time and again before anything sinks in....

kinda glad to hear it's not just mine

Perhaps one thing that comes out of this thread is whether some people have hang ups or wrong attitudes about what is a fairly normal thing. Whilst it's not appropriate in public (and I'm assuming he wasn't doing it hoping to get caught although even that is a fairly normal thing for couples who have sex outside or people like Hugh Grant who do it in a car with a prostitute - that apparently adds to the eroticism) he is only 15 and I doubt he planned you'd get home at that time and there would be more of a problem if he didn't masturbate. In other words we are glad of his normality rather than disgusted that sleeping babies in 12 years time might be masturbating.

I agree xenia, I'm sure he didn't give the appropriateness or timing of it a second thought.

In an ideal world he should have, but he's still just a kid.

There are an awful lot of men( and women) out there equally shit at making sensible and logical decisions, let alone a hormone driven 15 year old.

kitty imagine yourself when you have your oldest WHo I don't know is a boy or girl and you come in with all the younger ones

I am totally in agreement with OP

I think she is right to show anger but I think she went too far.

I don't know how often 15 year old boys masturbate each day (it's not my business) but I would guess if they're home all day alone or school holidays it might be 4 or 5 times for some boys. Bit difficult if you don't even have your own bed room.

I'm finding it very that so many posters on this thread are looking at their DSs with anxiety thinking about them engaging in a perfectly natural activity years from now.

Also all the 'glad I have girls' comments.

He's just a teenager who didn't think about how his actions affected others. Yes, he should have known better but that applies to the actions of teenagers up and down the country every day.

I too find that attitude hard to fathom

Kittywise, at what stage did I go too far??! I was venting on this thread.. HE doesn't know I've posted about it God forbid!

The worst I did was shout! Flipping heck..

when I told my 12 year old why I was laughing

I also said it is perfectly normal to be wanking and that all boys & men do it cos it is fun

but it is where and when to do it that is the issue

I am sure that there are loads of teenagers all over the world that do it infront of the computer in the sitting room but not when their sister and bro are expected home

Bloodyhell I think you reacted completely in the way loads f us would do in same situation

I find it very and fairly patronising seeing all the faces used by a few posters regarding the supposed parenting oversights of others.

For goodness sake, we are allowed to struggle with some parenting issues you know.. and we're allowed to post about it!

Save your 's for something genuinely !!

Totally agree with you, bloodyhell.

FFS, I hardly think that a 15 year old in a loving household is going to be emotionally scarred for life/develop sexual hang-ups because his mother shouted at him for wanking in the living room!

Cheers RTKM It's ok I'm not beating myself over anything; the common sense of the majority is clear to see - I'm just a little irritated by the holier than thou attitude of some people.

emkana exactly