To think this nurse shouldn't have laughed / scoffed at me for asking for a room?

[supertrainers]

Last night at 3 am I had to take my DD to a and e as she was struggling with her breathing.

Unfortunately this coincided with me having been up all night already vomiting. Second night in a row. It's not a stomach bug, before anyone says I shouldn't have taken my child to the hospital.

I was feeling absolutely rotten. Two nights of no sleep, worry for my DD. Pain, nausea. Everything.

I'm familiar with the hospital as I have found myself many times in there with one of my children in the middle of the night.

Most of the time, we get offered a room, once we've been triaged. Not always, but more often than not. The room has a bed in it and we just stay in there and the doctors come in and out.

I said to the triage nurse last night that I was also feeling extremely unwell and are there any rooms we could possibly wait in. I said I'm sorry for asking and I wouldn't ask unless I really needed to.

She did a scoff / laugh at me for even asking. 9 times out of 10 we have a room and you scoff at me ? I was taken aback by it and in my horrible state for her to just laugh / scoff at me was super rude. I told her, I understand but I really don't appreciate you laughing at me for even asking. I'm really unwell and I wouldn't ask you. It's not very nice that you laughed.

She denied laughing at me. I left it at that and went and sat on the plastic chairs for 6 hours.

Really? You think this is important? Come on, most people wouldn't care, or even notice.
I think the bigger issue is why you seem to have a "frequent flyer" card for A &E..... yes, there may be a good reason, but most people don't go to A&E from one year to the next, even if they do have kids.

She's fine. She went home after being observed for 6 hours so didn't need a room and as op asked for a room because she was feeling unwell that's not an appropriate reason for a room request.

I think you should put in a strong complaint and insist she gets struck off for being in despair for the state that the government has put the NHS in by underfunding and giving NHS money to their friends for substandard PPE. A lot of the overcrowding in a and e could be prevented by funding primary services properly (gp, dentist, mental health........)

You being unwell yourself doesn't mean you should get a room in children's A&E.

That's sadly not the case with a lot of childrens A&E areas across the country though.

We're in Cambridgeshire. Had to attend A&E 6 months ago with DS (2 at the time) with a split open head at 8pm. 8 hours waiting in total, triaged after 4 hours in a small office, then a further 4 hours of obs and waiting for nurse to glue his head back together which they had to do in the waiting area!. All this was done in a packed childrens A&E waiting area sat on chairs. It was packed in there. All the kids were (understandably) exhausted and ratty and needing sleep etc too as it was overnight. Only the very sickest managed to get placed in a room of their own.

Oh for gods sake. Just let it be. You’ve no idea what she faced that night and shes human. Don’t ask in future and if they can accommodate you the. I’m sure they will.

I don’t think the nurse “fucked up”.

She has seen you so many times that she might think you are treating the A&E like popping in to your local cafe, and misusing NHS services.

Your daughter had breathing issues so likely being closed up in her own room isn’t the best place for her.

People who tend to need beds - severe pain, need to lay down, trauma etc. So probably not your daughter.

Ffs. No need. I've been given private rooms due to having sepsis and a chronic health condition, both times for around 10 days. I have never demanded anything and it doesn't sound like the OP did either

Yes you are being unreasonable

I’d imagine that her laugh was very much more of a knackered nurse thinking ‘chance would be a fine thing’ than laughing at you for perceiving you as being demanding / cheeky etc. I know to you there’s no difference in the outcome as it felt rude and upsetting, but try to remember that it is an encounter with someone who is working in children’s a&e at 3am, probably one of the most stressful jobs imaginable, who is likely too rushed and knackered themselves to be thinking carefully before speaking and think of it as a slightly thoughtless blip. Hope you’re both doing ok.

I mean, why do you think you should have gotten a room ? Why would you usually ask? I find that so odd tbh

@Blades2 I often ask if my daughter can go in the "quiet" room as the general waiting area can be distressing for her because of her autism.
Sometimes we've been told no - for various different reasons but we've never had a nurse laugh at the request (which is what the OP said happened).
We don't know the medical history of the OPs child. If they normally/frequently get given a room then why shouldn't she ask?

'Scoff' is a very subjective description. But, if she did, she was scoffing at the idea of a room being available, not at you. Let it go.

Well then you've been lucky. You can't expect it every time. I feel your post is more about not getting the room than her scoffing

Nurse sounds like she's desensitized due to her job and is not treating you with humanity.

Well done for staying polite and also still advocating for yourself when mocked.

She's an employee and represents an organisation. She is the face of that organizations at all times.

Poor staff management and delegation should never be the problem of the patient.

My son stuck a pebble dashing stone up his nose when he was three. Happened to be a weekend when I had a stomach bug, both grandparents were away and DH was away on a mandatory work course. I got a neighbour to look after my other son and DH made plans to get home. I was up A&E for approx 6 hours without a room and puking into one of those egg box pee catchers. Son wasn't seen any earlier and I was on a plastic chair in a corner away from everyone and the play area which of course a three year old kept running to. It was dog rough. I was never offered a room at all and didn’t expect to get one either.

It probly just came out by mistake a and e is a nightmare for staff and patients at the moment working in that environment gets to people

This is an odd post OP.

Regardless of what you think, you do come across as somewhat entitled. EVERYONE in A&E children or adults, are there because they're unwell and in need of urgent care. And if you're offered a room 9 times out of 10 and weren't his time, then you shouldn't have asked! If there was a room and you're always offered one then not being offered one means.... there is no room available.

I would have probably scoffed as well. It's a reaction. It's doubtful she did it on purpose.

Also FWIW, AIBU posts should accept if people say yes. If you prefer otherwise, don't ask

I think its perfectly understandable for a nurse in A&E to scoff at anyone treating the place like a hotel. Everyone there is sick or in pain. If your child had a specific need to be in a room they'd have been prioritised for one.

You've been lucky previously then.

@GreyhoundLurcher I'm sorry but did you just tell someone NOT to take their child who has breathing difficulties to A+E.
That's a disgusting comment.

This. You weren’t the patient, your daughter was. Everyone is unwell in A+E, your daughter was triaged and treated appropriately. I would have probably thrown in an eye roll too

Even small children they can be left for a few mins when they’re asleep to go get a drink of water.

Then if I were you I would be thankful that 9 times out of 10 you’ve been offered a room. You’ve been luckier than most people I can assure you.