To think this nurse shouldn't have laughed / scoffed at me for asking for a room?

[supertrainers]

Last night at 3 am I had to take my DD to a and e as she was struggling with her breathing.

Unfortunately this coincided with me having been up all night already vomiting. Second night in a row. It's not a stomach bug, before anyone says I shouldn't have taken my child to the hospital.

I was feeling absolutely rotten. Two nights of no sleep, worry for my DD. Pain, nausea. Everything.

I'm familiar with the hospital as I have found myself many times in there with one of my children in the middle of the night.

Most of the time, we get offered a room, once we've been triaged. Not always, but more often than not. The room has a bed in it and we just stay in there and the doctors come in and out.

I said to the triage nurse last night that I was also feeling extremely unwell and are there any rooms we could possibly wait in. I said I'm sorry for asking and I wouldn't ask unless I really needed to.

She did a scoff / laugh at me for even asking. 9 times out of 10 we have a room and you scoff at me ? I was taken aback by it and in my horrible state for her to just laugh / scoff at me was super rude. I told her, I understand but I really don't appreciate you laughing at me for even asking. I'm really unwell and I wouldn't ask you. It's not very nice that you laughed.

She denied laughing at me. I left it at that and went and sat on the plastic chairs for 6 hours.

YANBU op, she was really rude and unprofessional to laugh at you, you can always make a complaint to PALS.

I think it depends if she scoffed at you or scoffed at the situation.

Someone asked me yesterday if my workplace was going ok and I scoffed/laughed because it’s a shit show at the minute.
I wasn’t scoffing/laughing at the person.

I think you possibly took it more personal than she meant it but it would have been more professional to just say “no sorry”.

It was probably this. She wasn't laughing at you exactly.

No I definitely wouldn't put a complaint in for that.

I did let her know it wasn't nice, without being aggressive. She knows it wasn't nice in that moment.

I'm always very very nice to this lady. Well to all of them. But she knows me, I've seen her a number of times and recognise her.

Surely the snort was more aimed at the state of the NHS.

I think I'd snort if a parent asked me if their child could have their own glue stick at school but it wouldn't be aimed at them.

Maybe illness and worry made you a bit sensitive.

I would've laughed too - not at you directly but privately at the irony of you wanting a room to wait in because you were unwell, in an A&E department where that's the point of everyone being there 🤣 it was rude to scoff in your face, but I'd have probably given you a wry smile and asked you to think it through, realising you're probably sleep deprived and not thinking straight.
Best wishes for recovery for you both OP.

I hope she apologises properly next time you see her then because it really isn't OK to treat people like that stressed out or not.

Well it wasn’t a funny question and I doubt she meant anything unpleasant by her reaction. It’s way more likely that it was a kind of, ‘oh chance would be a fine thing’ reaction from someone who is absolutely shattered and run off her feet.

Sorry you had such a bad time of it. Feeling unwell definitely makes you more sensitive than usual.

@supertrainers

3 am - NHS 2024 stress, give her some credit.
She could maybe have done better but being a nurse at 3 am at A/E is sh*t

If you get a room 9/10 it makes sense to assume they didn't have a room to give you on this day surely?

She shouldn't have been rude but she was probably laughing at the impossibility of the situation not at you. You were probably over sensitive due to your worry and tiredness also. I wouldn't think about this again.

It's really not that weird in that a and e though.

9 times out of 10 we get a room to wait in.

I wouldn't have asked in the main an and e for adults. It would never even cross my mind to ask there.

The children's an and e is completely different at this hospital.

Our children's A &E is the same. We're usually in a room waiting for the doctor but i do notice that not all the kids are. I think its probably based on the child being very ill or very young,. We've just had a very different experience at our new hospital though. I'm a bit gutted to be moving.

Laughing at someone for wanting an actual standard of care is appalling though. They're just desensitised to how shit it is I think.

I was thinking the same. Why is the OP attending a and e so much?

I’m actually really surprised at the replies here. I was appalled last time I went to A&E and had to sit in the waiting room for hours. It used to be you got called through and waited in a cubicle. We shouldn’t be accepting this.

And no OP she shouldn’t have scoffed but as others have said it might not have been really aimed at you.

Then there must've been another reason why she reacted how she did.

Otherwise it doesn't make sense whatsoever, does it?

Unless she was telling the truth and she didn't scoff, but you thought she did?

So did she laugh ha ha! directly at you personally, or did she just balk because she was incredulous that you actually thought there would be a room available at a struggling NHS department? It sort of makes a difference if you're going to complain and get her in trouble.

Ok, well obviously without knowing the exact specifications of your A&E (our children's A&E is nothing like that) that would be my general response. I did agree she was rude for laughing in your face.

Sorry but how entitled do you sound?! Everyone there will (should!!!) be having a life threatening emergency or have had a terrible accident. Count yourself lucky that you and your child were physically and mentally able to ‘sit in the plastic chairs’.

In fact, count yourself lucky that you’re physically and mentally able to be sat posting on Mumsnet after a trip to A&E. Many people who find themselves there (people who genuinely need to be seen urgently and can’t just wait until they see a GP) either end up admitted long term due to injuries, operated on, admitted overnight for observations or sadly don’t even make it home at all.

This is such a first world thing to be worried about.

I've never attended A&E at night, so I wouldn't;t know whether there are rooms available, but I can't think of any circumstances when I would ask for one. Surely, if there are such rooms, they are for patient use and not tired parents, and they would be allocated on clinical need?

Is there a reason you are there so often? It seems odd to have had a life threateningly ill child with such frequency. Does your DC have severe medical needs? If so that might have been a factor in your warranting a room on more visits than are typical.

@Seagrassbasket yes but that’s not the fault of the nurses and doctors working tirelessly is it? Of course we shouldn’t accept it but to poise the question directly at a nurse no doubt working her backside off is ludicrous.

If there's a six hour wait in a&e I assume they might have been rather busy

Were you there?

I've never heard of getting your own room even in the children's a and e where I live. You would be lucky just to get a bed or get seen.

@Whatevershallidowithmylife agreed. Also the fact that the daughter was triaged and found to not be an urgent case implies that it likely wasn’t an ‘emergency’ at all. Not denying breathing difficulties can be serious and should be looked at, but to turn up and expect a room over other poorly children is bizarre. Especially after your child has been triaged already and found to not be an urgent case.