To think this nurse shouldn't have laughed / scoffed at me for asking for a room?

[supertrainers]

Last night at 3 am I had to take my DD to a and e as she was struggling with her breathing.

Unfortunately this coincided with me having been up all night already vomiting. Second night in a row. It's not a stomach bug, before anyone says I shouldn't have taken my child to the hospital.

I was feeling absolutely rotten. Two nights of no sleep, worry for my DD. Pain, nausea. Everything.

I'm familiar with the hospital as I have found myself many times in there with one of my children in the middle of the night.

Most of the time, we get offered a room, once we've been triaged. Not always, but more often than not. The room has a bed in it and we just stay in there and the doctors come in and out.

I said to the triage nurse last night that I was also feeling extremely unwell and are there any rooms we could possibly wait in. I said I'm sorry for asking and I wouldn't ask unless I really needed to.

She did a scoff / laugh at me for even asking. 9 times out of 10 we have a room and you scoff at me ? I was taken aback by it and in my horrible state for her to just laugh / scoff at me was super rude. I told her, I understand but I really don't appreciate you laughing at me for even asking. I'm really unwell and I wouldn't ask you. It's not very nice that you laughed.

She denied laughing at me. I left it at that and went and sat on the plastic chairs for 6 hours.

6 hrs would be a dream iv been in their 36 hrs before while waiting for a bed

Even though she was asking for herself - an adult in a children’s dept? Absolutely not reasonable.

There's not much that gets me angry, however the state of the NHS really does. We pay through the nose in tax in this country, yet our health service is that of a developing country. And we're all brainwashed into worshipping at the altar of the NHS, and obliged to the default position of defending piss poor attitudes and treatment.

It's becoming more and more difficult to pretend that the (mandatorily excusable, regardless of circumstance) attitude/belligerent culture amongst staff isn't significantly contributing to the crisis.

I hope you are both feeling better @supertrainers.

Well yes, nothing stopping you asking for one in theory I guess...but don't you think they hadn't offered one for a reason?! Such as wanting to keep them free for people who really need one...

@Soontobe60 if you are in sole charge of a dangerously ill child, you have no choice but to take them to A&E, vomiting or not. Not everyone has others to call on in a crisis.

That’s a lot of times to be going to A&E . . . .

No the nurse didn’t “fuck up”. That’s not a “fuck up”. It is clearly important to you though that she did “fuck up”. Has she got to be wrong so you can be right?

@Toptotoe some children sadly are frequently unwell and have to go to A+E regularly for treatment.
It's not unusual to go many times if your child has a chronic illness or disability (which we don't know about the OPs child and we don't need to know because it's not our business).

We've almost always been offered a bed in a cubicle/ room in Children's A&E. A lot of the time you need to wait for obs. If I were in the main A&E I'd expect to be stuck on the plastic chairs but I don't think OP's expectation of a bed for her little one and a comfy chair to sit on was unusual.

I don't think you being ill means the actual patient needs a room more? Like yeah, sucks to be you, but I'd take it as a good sign that my kid looked ok enough to wait around on a chair.

Of course she shouldn’t have laughed, it’s completely unprofessional.

It is clearly not a far fetched request since OP and others have been given a room on multiple occasions. Even if it was unlikely or she was laughing at the current state of the nhs, that is no excuse to be reacting that way to the request of a sick person who was there with a young child struggling to breathe.

The OP has never been given a room. Her child is sometimes put in a room.

YABU. Unless you’ve been under a rock you’d know NHS is on its knees. It’s not the Ritz you can’t just go in with child who is somewhat poorly (but well enough to be discharged by today) and ask a room. Did you think the rest of the people were feeling on top of the world and there for the day out? My FIL (92) injured his leg recently. He spent 3 nights and days on a trolley in the A &E corridor He took it all in good spirits.

Yes sorry that’s what I meant @LordSnot

This! Cut her some slack: she’s working in an under resourced A&E and someone (who apparently goes there a lot) asks for a room. Maybe it’s just your interpretation as she said she didn’t. Personally, I’d understand it if she did - it seems a ridiculous request given the state of our hospitals

You say that, but I've only had to go to a & e with my toddler once, we spent 8 hours there for observation and tests during the daytime. Once triaged, I was put in one of these rooms, not sure if they are the same, but they have three solid walls and a curtain front, inside was a main bed in the middle, a comfy chair to the side and another smaller bed on the other side. There were 5 rooms in a row, down a glass corridor and the whole time we were there, only one other person used one of those rooms briefly, it was like we were in a ghost town, I found the whole experience quite eerie.

I remember thinking at the time it seems such a shame that adult A&E is rammed to the rafters and childrens A&E next door is virtually empty. I can understand if OP goes to childrens A&E quite a lot and her experience was like ours, you would probably assume that they can (and frequently do) use their discretion to allow you to wait in one.

TBH I would say she was rude, but I also think you need to read the room OP, you are in A&E a lot, so you'll know what's going on with the NHS, the GPs, Nurses and everyone else. Asking for something that was above what they were already doing was U in my view.

So this is a situation where you both could have acted better than you did.
You confronted her, I'd suggest now just leaving the situation. And in future, don't ask people being stretched to breaking point, for more than would usually be expected.

I'd just settle for getting a proper diagnosis and treatment in A&E however long I had to wait for it. Wouldn't care about eye rolling or scoffing. Last time I had to go to A&E they sent me home with a perforated bowel, saying it was a pulled muscle.

Sounds like you have mixed up a private hospital with an nhs hospital service. I can definitely see the funny side.

She probably thought you were out of touch with reality considering the state of play at the moment. Probably not laughing at you, more just like a the NHS are bleeding us dry how can you not know this kind of thing!

Why are you getting angry at being told not to be ridiculous yet going around calling everyone daft and ignorant?

You are aware that hospitals are full of sick people... thats LITERALLY what they are for.

If you can't go to hospital when sick then where do you think the sick should go?

Phone 111 with extreme vomiting, they will send you to A&E.

For the record I have been in A&E 3 times with vomiting in the last 4 years... don't worry you wont catch my bleeding ulcer which is caused by a hernia which intern was caused by an allergic reaction. The medical service believe vomiting blood to be something pretty A&E worthy though.

The nurse properly scoffed because elsewhere in the hospital people are waiting in corridors for hours, days even to get a bed after they have been admitted. I've been to a@e a few times with my kids over the years. We are usually taken to a room to speak to the nurse or a doctor then sent back to the waiting room to wait for treatment while the next child is seen in the room. With one of my kids who was seriously unwell we had to sit in the a@e waiting room for 10 hours before we got a bed on a ward which then turned into a week long stay in hospital. Count yourself lucky you where only in there for 6 hours and not admitted. You thinking you deserve a room for yourselve in children's a@e in s quite frankly unacceptable on your part.

Watch Ch4 dispatches. You might think differently. It's hard to be 100% professional 24/7. I'm hope your LO is ok now

Your daughter didn’t need a room and your condition is irrelevant given it’s a children’s A&E. stop being so over sensitive.