Please can someone tell me if my dd is lying? iPhone question

[F0GGYCAT]

She says she can't have find my iPhone turned on as she deleted it for storage, is that possible?

@Lilacapples "
Eh? Because she’s a child going jogging at 6am. Pretty self explanatory"

Not to me it isn't. If it's not a safe place for her to jog, then she shouldn't be going at all. If it is a safe place then I really can't see how tracking her will help.

At 15, I cycled across Holland with a friend who was also 15. We planned it, paid for it, and had a great time. All because I had been brought up to be responsible and not wrapped in cotton wool.

She's bordering on adulthood. Does a mysterious switch happen at 16, or should we be preparing them in advance for the responsibility?

She’s almost certainly lying - it doesn’t use much storage. And there will be a reason she is doing it. It might be innocent normal teenage stuff - in a pub instead of in a cinema etc, but it could be more problematic - older boyfriend for example. Personally I wouldn’t allow my DD to turn locations off until at least 16.

She is unlikely to admit she is lying about storage so you can tell her location services are non negotiable so she either deletes something and reinstalls the app or she has to switch to an alternative (less good) phone with more storage where location services can be used and linked to you. She may suddenly find there is space on her current phone.

I don't want to have to ask her to but I'm increasingly worried about her and what she's doing

What do you mean you don’t want to have to ask her? She is 15yo. It’s job to ask these questions and make appropriate rules.

@F0GGYCAT

Are other things happening which would suggest a reason to be increasingly concerned about her, OP?

@HappiestSleeping and you can't see the difference between two friends cycling together and a teenage girl going out running alone at 6am? Very few grown women I know would go out running alone at unsociable hours these days.

well I can't speak for others but up until he left school I had social media passwords, parental controls on all devices and did spot checks. Once he became an adult it became none of my business what he did online I had to trust he knew about safety.

Find my iphone is different. If he were to go missing it would show his last known location and if his phone gets lost it helps us to trace it.

My daughter has an android phone. She turned Life 360 off, that's fine she is an adult, she pays for her own phone but under the age of 16 it would have been non negotiable. Plus if she loses her phone thats tough luck.

At 15 she will want her own way.

So you tell her that as her mum you want her to be safe, if she has nothing to hide then the location app should not be an issue only when jogging or out partying.
Tell her you are willing to do it as well.
So if she demure, Ask her what is she trying to hide?
Tell her she can turn it off the rest of the time.

This.

I use Life360 to track my teens. They have a lot of freedom, but a condition of this freedom, and having iPhones paid for by me, is that Life360 must be on at all times.

Personally, I would prefer running locally to cycling across a foreign country, but that's just me. As long as she has been briefed about being aware, I honestly don't think it is an issue. Then again, I don't view 6am as a particularly unsociable hour unless you are in the outer Hebrides or similar. There is plenty of activity at 6am most places now.

She's more likely to be hit by a bus than anything else and I'd far rather she gained independence.

At 15 years old she doesn't get to decide. She's a child

I think it’s non negotiable.

My eldest is 19 & he only turned his off about a year ago. He no longer lives at home & pays his own phone-bill, so I suppose that is fair enough 😄 Although, he did turn it on again for his first “boys holiday” abroad - I liked being able to look in the morning and see that he was safely back at his hotel, & he didn’t mind doing that as he knows I worry a bit.

It was also pretty useful when he was in car accident at 17 & didn’t know exactly where he was.

My younger teen DCs all have it on. My DH &
I share our locations too though, so it’s just a family thing where it is easier to organise everything, especially when cooking for someone on their way home - and as the DC like seeing where we are too, it isn’t just aimed at them.

You need to nip that in the bud. Why on earth do you want to be awake at 4am?

@armyofants it's the Apple password manager that stores and autofills your password.

If you use that on your Apple device and have it backed up to the cloud so your passwords share across your phone and iPad and Mac for example, then if you set up shared iCloud with your child, your child will have access to your passwords

You can still set up family sharing and parental controls just don't share your iCloud or if you really want to then don't back up your passwords to the cloud.

Your daughter can choose who can see her location on snapchat, my daughter doesn't let everyone see her location but she lets me.

Tell her that find your phone saves the embarrassment of mum phoning a friend to ask if they know where she is

Who pays for the phone? I would threaten her with no find my location turned on results in no phone.

This.

I am absolutely baffled by many of the responses here. Such extreme helicopter parenting. I am now actually glad we didn't have phones at that age. Our parents just had to trust us telling them where we were. The most strict parents were the ones who got lied to the most.

I realize that 15 year olds are still very naïve and vulnerable, but they are at greater danger from their internet activity than their actual physical activities. Furthermore, they need to learn to look after themselves at some point. When is that suppose to start? When then graduate college and suddenly find themselves in the deep end of the pool without ever having gotten to practice swimming on their own?

Would she be happy to share her location with you if you share yours with her? This is what I’ve done with my DD, she said it made it not feel like she was being tracked that way. Downside is now I mainly get messages off her asking me to go to the bakery section in Lidl when she sees I’m in the shop

And in what universe is 'she says no' relevant. This is her safety and I would take no more notice of 'she says no' than if the cat had stood up and uttered it.

She says No. You say yes. End of.

Does she have Snapchat? She can share her location on there - not spring everyone sees it if she can tie it down to just you

If she has WhatsApp she can share her live location with you for up to 8 hours at a time 🤷‍♀️

Why do you want to see her location ?

Why does she think you want to track her location ?

Did your parents track your location? It seems horrific to me but perhaps it no normal in some places?

This is trust issue

If I was her I would "forget" to take my phone if I was being tracked which would be far more dangerous

It's very straightforward but I don't find it particularly reliable.
Open the contract or group, press paperclip, select location.
Also found it to be quite battery draining.