To ask if you’ve got 3 kids?

[Coconutsandpalmtree]

How do you live? Ie how big is your home and what’s your set up?

how much do you earn gross and net monthly?

i know it’s super invasive but we’re all friends/ anonymous strangers here. My reason for asking was the fact I was absolutely slaughtered by some poster about my tiny tiddly 4 bed home by some posters on my other thread, so I’m genuinely wondering if I’m delulu for considering a 3rd

We have 3. 4 bed 1930s semi. Living room dining room both large rooms, kitchen and garage which doubles as utility. Upstairs bathroom, shower room and 4 beds. 1 child has own bedroom, other two share but will be soon taking spare bedroom so they all have their own space. I earn very minimally doing admin for husband but most part am at home with kids he earns 6 figures. What on earth were they saying about your four bed? Surely they weren't saying it wasn't big enough for 3 kids? That would be ridiculous some people on here don't live in the real world at all absolute la la land.

3 kids, 4 bedroom house
Combined income around 100k
Drive regular oldish cars 1 5 seat and 1 7 seater for space for kids car seats and dogs.

I have 3. 4 bedroom bungalow, husband earns 67k I earn literally fuck all (self employed cleaner, dla and carers allowance). It's a struggle but we cope just about. My 2 sons are autistic (age 18 and 6) my daughter isn't but has other issues.

not Just big enough for 3 kids, not even big enough for 2! I have a low budget and made stupid decisions apparently! It was a real kick in the teeth

I guess it's more, the day wouldn't have been ruined without those things, far from it, but with a large family, that's how much a drink, an ice-cream and sharing chips is for 5.
Our DC don't need those things. But to have to go without 90% of the time because a few snacks comes to £17-18 over a full day out, isn't the life we want for them. £17 seems nothing. But when you multiply by 5, suddenly it's rather a lot.

They don't need those things every time we go out. But we didn't want to be the parents of those children who had to over frequently hear no to snacks...nice trainers like their friends...first cars...house deposits because we chose to have more children than we could financially give a nice life too.

My friend has 4dc. And she's permanently broke. She's very "my kids don't need anything, they're happy, they aren't materialistic" but you can see she wishes she could do more with them, hell would freeze over before she ever admitted it though. Her eldest DD is about 15 and I was round there when they had a blazing row because the DD's peers were all going to a particular place for prom dresses and the DD couldn't because the dresses were too expensive. The girl yelled through tears at her mother "I'm always the poor fucking relative, you don't even care do you"

It was about so much more than a prom dress. It was years of having to suck it up because mum had lots of children without lots of income. Life isn't about money, but it's even more fickle to pretend it's not a huge factor in quality of life.

3 dc, 4 bed terraced house in London.
Income £300k+ a year.
We're comfortable. Youngest dcs in private school, several holidays a year, expensive extracurriculars and lots of days out. Our house is an OK size, but could feel more cramped as dc get older. We're unlikely to move to a bigger property as there isn't much housing stock of bigger houses where we are, and we're in a central location.

3 dc. 5 bed 1930s semi, so everyone has their own room and spare room for guests. Sharing worked well when dc were younger, but as teens they all need their own space.

We have 3 - one of them lives partly away due to uni but here a lot of the time.
We live, and always have done, in a 3-bedroom terraced house with no garden and one bathroom. Shock horror, nobody on Mumsnet will believe we could live in such squalour!!!
When they were younger (up to 11, 14 and 18) the younger two shared a bigger bedroom and the eldest had the boxroom to themselves.
We had a phase where all three were here permanently and we "converted" the loft to a bedroom. I used the inverted commas as it's not a real conversion - drop down ladder rather than stairs etc - but it works for us.
You just make the best of what you can afford.
The idea that kids "need" their own bedroom is a relatively new one. Yes it's nice if they can but not child abuse if they don't!

4 bed ex-council house (4th bedroom is a box room, but that's pretty normal around here). Previously lived in a 2 bed with older two sharing and baby in with us.

Not on a great income but live in a cheap part of the country so it wasn't a problem up until fairly recently when our mortgage went up massively.

3 kids
We earn well into six figure now but about half that when we had the third
4 beds but not a huge house, comfortable
If I had had a 4th my uterus would also have tried to kill me

I have 4. I love them all equally any dearly but going from 3-4 has left me a shell of a woman

I have four kids, if that's any help.

We live in a modest three bed rented home. (£650 a month)

My three boys share one room (triple bunk)

My daughter has one room

Husband and I have one room.

He works full time, £2k ish a month, but stable. I work freelance and earn maybe £1k a month so definitely not mega bucks.

I home educate the eldest child.

Holidays in this country. One car between us.

We also live right by the coast (as in two minutes walk from the beach) so days out are free, we go on lots of cheap adventures and we have family visiting regularly - we moved a fair distance from them and they sleep on air bed in living room or sofa.

We don't do expensive days out or big holidays abroad. Kids unlikely to go university but if they do, they'll have to get part time jobs.

Our biggest gripe is that we only have one bathroom for six of us.

For me it’s a time issue as well
as money.

We have friends with three for example. It’s last week of term where we live, and she’s been stressed all last week and this week as every child has end of term activities, trips and shows that are clashing or very tight and parents are expected to attend. So she’s trying to divide herself in 3 (husband working full time and can only take one afternoon off for one event).

If you don’t have close family to help it can be very difficult to cover all three just with two parents if anything from Normal
happens.

I had to go and sort out something regarding house renovation yesterday. I had to take my Ds with me as no other option. Took all afternoon. Not really child
friendly. With 3 I would have lost the will to live.

. If you have three but x2 full sets grandparents, aunts, uncles etc who can watch them when you need them it’s far easier.

Cost wise. Housing isn’t really the issue if you have a 4 bed, regardless of size. But day to day things are just more expensive with more. If one needs anything medical paid for like braces or allergy. If child has activity or club, do you curb them going beyond certain level due to costs? Food, that’s expensive. Even providing shoes. It’s all ££ extra per year, and usually only gets more expensive as they grow, ie you are more likely to be able to have second hand coat for toddler than a 14 year old.

Adding to my point after reading later posts...

We have very little family support because we live 150 miles away from family so we are pretty much on our own. We manage absolutely fine. We don't get much time to ourselves as a couple, but that would be the same however many kids we had.

In terms of time - I work for myself so have a little bit more flexibility (but if I'm not working I'm not earning so balanced out!). One of our kids goes to cadets once a week so he needs a lift to that, but we don't fill the week with groups and activities.

The kids get plenty of 1:1 time with both parents. I take the kids out for a milkshake by themselves one evening a week or walk on the beach etc. dad does the same. They definitely don't feel hard done by/

In terms of future finance - they're not likely to go to university but if they do we will have to find a way to manage and they will need to support themselves through as well. We won't be giving them deposits for houses or buying cars - they already know that. We wouldn't be doing that if we had just one child.

What I do know is that my kids are all incredibly happy and don't want for anything material or love wise

I have three. We have a healthy family income and don't struggle. We have a four bed house which is big enough for a room for everyone.

3 kids
4 bed house
70k income combined
£700 mortgage