3DC. One 16, twins, 4.
Largish 5 bed. DH circa £150k. Me £30k part time.
Currently renting. Buying nice house soon. Mortgage will be over £3k a month. Probably £900 a month had we bought and fixed pre COVID. Fuck. We trip over each other a bit even in this size of house. 5 peoples stuff, clothes, school bits, hobbies, plus all the furniture and fittings a house needs, for 5, take up a lot of space. Dining table? Seats 8. Frankly that's not big enough if we just have my parents over and I want to put the side dishes in the centre of the table.
It depends on your aspirations. I couldn't just "survive" with 3DC. I need the big house and the nice car, and to show them all the countries and cultures and experiences we can on this brilliant planet we only get one shot on. We earn nearly £200k and I still buy nearly everything second hand because it's not enough money to have the life experience we want and buy everything new. I buy quality, eg duresta sofas but search high and low for a bargain, and buy an "as new" suite for £1,500 instead of £15,000.
I'm honestly in awe at people having 3DC on a combined income of under £50k. How you afford anything decent socially is beyond me. The pantomime this year, the five of us, tickets only, £196. Day out at the beach, took all our own lunch, but arrived and all had a hot chocolate etc, £28, ice-creams mid afternoon £22, three portions of fish n chips at the end of the day to share, £38. That's £90 on a day where the activity was free.
Meal out with drinks? £150 minimum. Was gifted tickets to the circus, not even a very good one, which would have been £160 had I bought them, that's without the popcorn and candyfloss. I can only imagine people on low incomes have a very very favourable mortgage.
But then if you don't really want to go out much, that beach day is £90, but only once a month. Greggs for all of us is £16. Walking in a park is free. Some museums are free. But it all depends if that's enough for you in life. Yeah, there's a lot of us and we could have saved £90 not buying ice-creams at the beach and sharing a chippie on the harbour wall...but we don't want that life, where it's nearly always "sorry, not today sweetheart" because of finances. Or cram round a dining table every night because it's the only table that fits in the dining room of a little house. Life's for living.
I love having a big family, the hustle and bustle at Christmas and BBQs, but I wouldn't want to do it struggling. That would not be fun at all, especially for the children.