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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just found out I’m pregnant I must be over 30 weeks I am scared!

517 replies

Goldflamingo · 23/06/2024 13:20

Hi posting here as this thread seems to get the most traction.

I found out I was pregnant this morning. I haven’t had periods for 2 years as I’ve been on the pill and they’ve stopped them. I had no symptoms until recently. My belly is tiny, I’ve lost weight. I have been feeling so sick and dizzy, Saturday I went to a theme park with my daughter, I fainted and was sick everywhere. The medic came over and asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant and I laughed it off. I recovered and we went home.

Today I thought oh I will just take a test to rule it out. I was going shopping anyway so I didn’t specifically set out to buy a test, I just grabbed one with my shopping. I fully expected it to say negative, I was just doing it to humour myself. I knew there was an extremely slim chance but I was 99.99% sure it would be negative. I didn’t even look for 20 minutes as I was adamant it was a waste of time and would be negative. But no, two lines appeared. Because I left it so long I thought a possible false positive so I went out and got 6 more including a digi. All were dark positive and the digi said pregnant.

I went in to panic mode. I have not had sex in 30 weeks, the last time I had sex was November the 24th. I was dating somebody and things broke up after a few months as he moved abroad. I have not had sex or even dated since.

I called EPU, I explained the whole situation and they’ve said as I’m over 16 weeks, they can not take me under their care and I need to do an online referral for a midwife and urge the importance of the situation in my online referral. I have done an online referral and stressed they contact me asap. I can not find a direct number for the midwife’s, only the number for antenatal day Assesment unit. I don’t know what I should do, do I just go to a&e. Do I wait until the midwife’s have got back to me?

I am so scared. For all I know there’s more than one baby, the baby could be sick, the placenta could have developed incorrectly, the baby could be deformed, the baby could have a disability. Anything; because I haven’t been checked! So now I’m worrying!

I also drink a bottle of wine most weekends.

I am terrified something would have gone wrong but I’m in limbo until the midwife’s contact me back after they’ve received my referral. I don’t know what to do, do I go to A&E?? Am I going to be in trouble for not knowing until now?

I feel so uncomfortable sat here doing nothing about it until they’ve got back to me when I’m anywhere from 30-36 weeks pregnant. My other daughter was born at 33 weeks so I’m worrying!!!

please what do I do??? Do I go to a&e???

OP posts:
SamanthaJonesWasRight · 23/06/2024 15:40

You're not in trouble OP, you've done nothing wrong, and nobody thinks that you have.

Get up to the unit and let them take care of you, good on you for phoning your sister, your DD will be well looked after and everything will unfold as it does.

Good luck!

MadeForThis · 23/06/2024 15:41

Try to focus on practical planning. It will help the time pass quicker.

What equipment will you need?
What do you already have?
What family/friends can help you?

DoreenonTill8 · 23/06/2024 15:43

Thinking of you op.

SummerHouse · 23/06/2024 15:45

Hope all goes well op. You are on the right path now. Absolutely not your fault you haven't been seen up to now. You didn't know. This could happen to anyone. Wishing you well and hopefully today brings some reassurance and you can start to get your head round this.

K0OLA1D · 23/06/2024 15:45

Glad you're getting seen. Good luck op

parttimeweddingplanner · 23/06/2024 15:45

Wishing you all the best.

My sister's friend got to full term without realising she was pregnant, over 20 years ago now. She was playing sport and drinking throughout the pregnancy, she had no idea.

Her baby was absolutely fine - now a lovely young women and a credit to her mother.

DontBiteTheCat · 23/06/2024 15:48

Good luck OP x

EatingSleeping · 23/06/2024 15:49

Please don't feel silly or as.of you should have known. This is common enough that midwifery will get it and you'll get help now. I'm glad your sister is coming you need moral support as much as anything else. Just put one foot in front of the other right now

Midwifelife · 23/06/2024 15:52

I'm a midwife and I would believe you didn't know. It's actually surprisingly common! At the mid sized unit I work at - we see this every month or more at least. Just be honest. About not knowing, about drinking etc. all we want is to support you and make sure you and baby are well. You've done the right thing contacting your local unit - they can start booking you into the system and may be able to fast track the community midwife/ antenatal clinic getting you fully in the system (unfortunately normally limited by systemic restriction to office hrs etc) and getting you an urgent scan and appointments for follow up. Hope you have really good support around you , this must have been a big shock. Sending lots of strength!

TokyoSushi · 23/06/2024 15:52

Oh gosh, that's great that the assessment unit have been helpful and at least tomorrow is Monday so you have a whole week ahead of everything being open, hope you're ok

AmelieTaylor · 23/06/2024 15:54

I hope SIS & BIL aren't too far away now.

i wish for you, what you wish for yourself, re it actually being a pregnancy.

Hope this afternoon goes well xx

Misthios · 23/06/2024 15:54

This happened to a good friend of mine, she was at least 26 weeks when she found out. She never ever had a bump, even at 39 weeks when her baby was born she was wearing the same jeans as she did pre-pregnancy.

Good luck, @Goldflamingo .

magnummum · 23/06/2024 15:56

Thinking of you OP - what a shock. X

parentfodder · 23/06/2024 16:01

Good luck op hope everything is ok.

Cherrysoup · 23/06/2024 16:01

Brilliant that your sister is coming. I hope everything is ok.

I took my Dh to A&E on Friday, he was round in agony, looked like he’d been the shower he was sweating so much and was hanging on for 111 to call back. I know they’re busy, but he was in a terrible state. He was admitted and is still in hospital. Much as I love the NHS-they did wonders for me post accident-the system has changed since then and A&E was our only option.

Gogogo12345 · 23/06/2024 16:03

MoonQuartz · 23/06/2024 15:19

No weight gain at all? How is that possible?

Quite. possible. I only gained 3lbs in total with DD2 who was born at 8lb 2 oz and never had sickness. Although I did know I was pregnant

Poetnojo · 23/06/2024 16:03

I hope all goes well for you OP

Anushka · 23/06/2024 16:04

Bless you I hope everything goes ok, the midwife team aren't there to judge, they are there to do their job, and this is probably more common than you think. Fingers crossed everything goes well with you today.

TooLateForRoses · 23/06/2024 16:05

Honestly don't worry about updating mumsnet. You've got enough on your plate. Don't panic. Even if it's twins, don't panic.

Tinaforshort · 23/06/2024 16:06

Hope all goes well today OP.

This happened to a family member of mine OP, she was 7mths when she found out she was pregnant. No weight gain - she still had periods, everything was the same as usual. She now has a healthy 25yo!

Molone · 23/06/2024 16:06

Good luck OP I really hope all is well for you, sending hugs 🤗

Nextdoor55 · 23/06/2024 16:12

I mean wow, what a shocker, but there's nothing to say that there is anything wrong, so I would not worry until there is something to worry about
Congratulations!

Exactlab · 23/06/2024 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HornyHornersPinger · 23/06/2024 16:12

Don't wish to minimise what must be a very scary situation, but just because you were unaware and haven't had antenatal care doesn't automatically mean there'll be a problem with baby. Women have been having babies for 1000s of years, our bodies are amazing! Get on to your Dr asap tomorrow and best of luck xx

WingsofRain · 23/06/2024 16:15

I hope everything goes well for you, now you have contacted the maternity unit I’m sure they will be able to help. 💐