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Just found out I’m pregnant I must be over 30 weeks I am scared!

517 replies

Goldflamingo · 23/06/2024 13:20

Hi posting here as this thread seems to get the most traction.

I found out I was pregnant this morning. I haven’t had periods for 2 years as I’ve been on the pill and they’ve stopped them. I had no symptoms until recently. My belly is tiny, I’ve lost weight. I have been feeling so sick and dizzy, Saturday I went to a theme park with my daughter, I fainted and was sick everywhere. The medic came over and asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant and I laughed it off. I recovered and we went home.

Today I thought oh I will just take a test to rule it out. I was going shopping anyway so I didn’t specifically set out to buy a test, I just grabbed one with my shopping. I fully expected it to say negative, I was just doing it to humour myself. I knew there was an extremely slim chance but I was 99.99% sure it would be negative. I didn’t even look for 20 minutes as I was adamant it was a waste of time and would be negative. But no, two lines appeared. Because I left it so long I thought a possible false positive so I went out and got 6 more including a digi. All were dark positive and the digi said pregnant.

I went in to panic mode. I have not had sex in 30 weeks, the last time I had sex was November the 24th. I was dating somebody and things broke up after a few months as he moved abroad. I have not had sex or even dated since.

I called EPU, I explained the whole situation and they’ve said as I’m over 16 weeks, they can not take me under their care and I need to do an online referral for a midwife and urge the importance of the situation in my online referral. I have done an online referral and stressed they contact me asap. I can not find a direct number for the midwife’s, only the number for antenatal day Assesment unit. I don’t know what I should do, do I just go to a&e. Do I wait until the midwife’s have got back to me?

I am so scared. For all I know there’s more than one baby, the baby could be sick, the placenta could have developed incorrectly, the baby could be deformed, the baby could have a disability. Anything; because I haven’t been checked! So now I’m worrying!

I also drink a bottle of wine most weekends.

I am terrified something would have gone wrong but I’m in limbo until the midwife’s contact me back after they’ve received my referral. I don’t know what to do, do I go to A&E?? Am I going to be in trouble for not knowing until now?

I feel so uncomfortable sat here doing nothing about it until they’ve got back to me when I’m anywhere from 30-36 weeks pregnant. My other daughter was born at 33 weeks so I’m worrying!!!

please what do I do??? Do I go to a&e???

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 26/06/2024 19:06

@Goldflamingo

The decision re adoption is totally yours, not your mum's and not your sister's. They should have no inputs. Because when it comes down to it, the responsibility will be totally yours. I'm not saying they would, but your mum and sister could 'turn around and walk away' should they decide to do so. Theoretically, your mum could 'age out' of being able to be much help and your sister could experience things in her own live that affect her ability to support you in a meaningful way. When the time comes, you make the decision that is best for you. Because that will be best for the child. BTW, I'm an adopted child.

As far as the father goes, frankly, I'm hovering between telling him after the birth or not telling him at all. You know him, I don't. You say you're positive he won't be happy or accepting. As far as waiting til after the birth, why risk ruining the peace of the rest of your pregnancy (peace you badly need) if he's going to be an arsehole about it. Once baby is here if he doesn't want involvement will he be the type to just 'drop off the face of the Earth' and leave you to get on with things or will he be the type to make your life miserable with repeated abusive contacts and demands just because he can?

purplepandas · 26/06/2024 20:52

Just sending much love to you @Goldflamingo . Thinking of you and the baby. I hope you have the support and care that you need.

iambutachickenfinger · 27/06/2024 20:37

How you doing, @Goldflamingo? Hope you and baby are doing well. Whatever your decision is, it'll be the right one for you and your family x

whynotwhatknot · 28/06/2024 15:55

they might mean well but your family cant tell you to keep a baby beause they want you to

youre the one who essentially has to provide an raise this child

FloofPaws · 29/06/2024 16:15

Wow what a whirlwind! I hope the pain is going and settling down, must be very strange to think you'll be having a baby soon, good luck with your decisions and I hope you manage to speak to the father soon and he's supportive

freakinthespreadsheets · 30/06/2024 10:55

Hi OP, hope you're doing well. I have been thinking of you, please let us know how you are getting along. You are an awesome mummy and doing the best thing right by your 6yo, hope everything goes well for you. X

Purpleday1 · 30/06/2024 11:18

Bigcat25 · 25/06/2024 19:33

Adoption is a 100 percent viable option. Listen to yourself, not your mom/sister.

This.
It is your decision only.
You will be rearing this baby, going back to the baby stage.
It is perfectly reasonable to not want to fo this.
Mind yourself.

Sunnydaysun · 01/07/2024 22:08

How are you feeling @Goldflamingo

What a shock. Hope you're ok.

SlowlyForward · 01/07/2024 22:40

Just wanted to say that we are thinking of you here, and I hope all is okay.

ResetandRestart · 01/07/2024 22:49

Hi op
Found your post by accident when I was scrolling and have read your updates. Your head must be going all over the place! Adoption is totally your choice noone else's but yours! Do not let your mum and sister get involved in this choice this is yours and yours alone.

I'm so sorry your going through this.... whatever you do. Make your decision for yourself and yourself alone

I'll be checking for updates from you and wish you all the best xx

poetryandwine · 02/07/2024 11:19

Hi, OP -

I am so glad the baby is healthy.

Stay strong and make the best decision for yourself and your DD. Your mum and your sister should butt right out.

If you keep the baby because you really want to, we all know how great that is. But only because you really want to. If you decide adoption is best, you will be making someone happier than you can imagine, and the screening processes will have done everything possible to give your baby a good home. That’s something to be proud of.

There is no bad outcome. Do you have a trusted advisor or mentor? Someone not invested in the outcome you could talk with?

Take care xx

purplepandas · 02/07/2024 15:28

Another one checking in to wish you well, sending lots of love to you.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 02/07/2024 16:53

I hope you are doing ok Op, this is a lot for anyone to deal with. Do whats right for you, not what other people think you should do.

Mnk711 · 04/07/2024 00:30

Hope you're OK OP. Such a tricky decision to make for you - hopefully once baby comes the way forward will be clear for you, don't feel forced into any immediate decisions. If you decide to keep the baby then your mum and sister can run out then to get the bits you would need, it's not helpful pressuring you now.

Moro93 · 12/07/2024 04:02

Hi OP, I’ve read all your updates and hope everything is going well for you x

ChirpyBee · 12/07/2024 19:33

Yeah we're gonna need an update on this.

IdisagreeMrHochhauser · 13/07/2024 02:40

ChirpyBee · 12/07/2024 19:33

Yeah we're gonna need an update on this.

Why? It's not Eastenders. She owes you nothing.

Blamket · 13/07/2024 11:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ChirpyBee · 14/07/2024 22:37

IdisagreeMrHochhauser · 13/07/2024 02:40

Why? It's not Eastenders. She owes you nothing.

People have to know.

GoogleWhacked · 14/07/2024 22:44

ChirpyBee · 14/07/2024 22:37

People have to know.

The only people who have to know are those that op wants to know i.e. her family / friends, not randomers on the Internet.

bagheera92 · 05/10/2024 19:37

Hi op, how are you?
How all is well. Did you decide on what was the best option for you and baby? X

Childfreecatlady · 06/10/2024 00:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SweetGingerTea · 06/10/2024 00:43

@Childfreecatlady are you nuts, the baby will be here by now

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 06/10/2024 00:54

@Childfreecatlady

The Op was 33 weeks and 3 days when she last posted which was 25th June - over 3 months ago - 14 weeks and 5 days to be precise !

which if still pregnant she would be 47 weeks and 8 days = 48 weeks and 1 day
the ' average ' pregnancy is 40 weeks, it is very likely baby is 8 weeks old.

As the Op's first baby was born at 33 weeks the baby could very well have come earlier than 40 weeks...

is there an update @Goldflamingo

Childfreecatlady · 06/10/2024 00:58

SweetGingerTea · 06/10/2024 00:43

@Childfreecatlady are you nuts, the baby will be here by now

Didn't read the date and it came up in my feed so figured was more recent. Obviously you can't terminate after the baby is born :)