Just found out I’m pregnant I must be over 30 weeks I am scared!

[Goldflamingo]

Hi posting here as this thread seems to get the most traction.

I found out I was pregnant this morning. I haven’t had periods for 2 years as I’ve been on the pill and they’ve stopped them. I had no symptoms until recently. My belly is tiny, I’ve lost weight. I have been feeling so sick and dizzy, Saturday I went to a theme park with my daughter, I fainted and was sick everywhere. The medic came over and asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant and I laughed it off. I recovered and we went home.

Today I thought oh I will just take a test to rule it out. I was going shopping anyway so I didn’t specifically set out to buy a test, I just grabbed one with my shopping. I fully expected it to say negative, I was just doing it to humour myself. I knew there was an extremely slim chance but I was 99.99% sure it would be negative. I didn’t even look for 20 minutes as I was adamant it was a waste of time and would be negative. But no, two lines appeared. Because I left it so long I thought a possible false positive so I went out and got 6 more including a digi. All were dark positive and the digi said pregnant.

I went in to panic mode. I have not had sex in 30 weeks, the last time I had sex was November the 24th. I was dating somebody and things broke up after a few months as he moved abroad. I have not had sex or even dated since.

I called EPU, I explained the whole situation and they’ve said as I’m over 16 weeks, they can not take me under their care and I need to do an online referral for a midwife and urge the importance of the situation in my online referral. I have done an online referral and stressed they contact me asap. I can not find a direct number for the midwife’s, only the number for antenatal day Assesment unit. I don’t know what I should do, do I just go to a&e. Do I wait until the midwife’s have got back to me?

I am so scared. For all I know there’s more than one baby, the baby could be sick, the placenta could have developed incorrectly, the baby could be deformed, the baby could have a disability. Anything; because I haven’t been checked! So now I’m worrying!

I also drink a bottle of wine most weekends.

I am terrified something would have gone wrong but I’m in limbo until the midwife’s contact me back after they’ve received my referral. I don’t know what to do, do I go to A&E?? Am I going to be in trouble for not knowing until now?

I feel so uncomfortable sat here doing nothing about it until they’ve got back to me when I’m anywhere from 30-36 weeks pregnant. My other daughter was born at 33 weeks so I’m worrying!!!

please what do I do??? Do I go to a&e???

I couldn’t care less who you but you aren’t treating Op in hospital and you aren’t her doctors. They know her best not you.!

Best of luck @Goldflamingo just please advocate for yourself.

I sense some angry midwives.

Hi OP,

just want to jump on and wish you and little one all the best. Try to keep calm 💖 sending you very unmumsnetty hugs!

I found out I was pregnant at 25 weeks. I had not yet resumed periods after my oldest, was still breastfeeding and losing weight, and had been using condoms- and had no signs. I was also very badly hypothyroid to the extent that once it had been diagnosed that I was pregnant I was ushered off to one side. My baby might have development problems. It was very stressfulas we were told we would need an emergency scan, but it all worked out. She was born with no ill effects. Luckily my eldest was just 15 months so we still had baby stuff.

It was a shock. I can still remember shaking as I sat in the hospital where they were giving me tests for autoimmune disorders and asked if i could be preganant. A gynaecology lady came and felt and said I was about 24- 26 weeks. I felt like aprize idiot and when my endocrinologist started panicking I felt worse, I cried a lot.

I hope everything goes well for you. Don't blame yourself.

Hey @Goldflamingo hope you are ok is there any update?

Hope you’re okay

Sending you lots of positive energy OP, such a crazy time but you sound fab.

Just a little message to say iv been thinking about you and whatever is happening I hope it works out ok for you.

sending you strength @Goldflamingo

What a lot to take in, OP. It sounds like you’re handling this shocking situation really well. Very best wishes to you and your DC

Just take some time to absorb what is happening. It may take you a while to understand your new reality. You will need to do what is right for you - your timeframe - given the nearness of the due date.
Breathe - deep breaths. Be kind to yourself.

Hi everyone currently laying in bed doing nothing, read my emails and saw the notifications so figured I’d do an update. Thank you for all the well wishes.

Had my full scan and baby appears fine. All organs are fine and heart is working fine, which is what I was concerned of due to the lithium. No abnormalities detected. They’ve said because I’m too far along to have the nuchal translucency measurement or the blood tests that detect Down syndrome and such genetic conditions. They’ve said the only way this can be done is privately if I pay for a prenatal screening test which can isolate the babies dna from mine to test for abnormalities. This is over £1000 and as they have said the baby appears fine and the fact that I’m close to my due date, I’m not going to get it.

My cervical scan showed my cervix is shorter than they’d like but closed, the pain has persisted to the point of needing pain relief stronger than paracetamol. The babies heart rate is slightly elevated too so they’re keeping me in. The consultant has been round and told me if it gets higher they will think about doing a c section because it signifies foetal distress. Not sure why natural labour isn’t starting if I’m having pains and baby is in foetal distress.

Have not yet told the dad. I feel I should tell him now that I’m pregnant opposed to telling him he’s got a child when the baby is born. Not sure how he will react but I know he won’t be happy or want this. He has no children, from a very religious cultural family and is currently working in Japan!

The midwife’s have put me in touch with social services should I wish to consider adoption. Right now I don’t know how I feel, I think it will only become apparent when the baby is born. I don’t want another child but I also don’t feel like I can give my child away so it’s tricky. They’ve told me I’m right in deciding to not make any decisions until the baby is born.

My sister and my mum know, my daughters unaware and that’s how I want it to stay until I know I will be keeping the child as she’s only 6. My mum and my sister are both adamant that adoption shouldn’t be an option and have already got together the necessities like a cot, pram etc

Glad to hear you and baby are doing well. Best wishes.

Sounds like you’re handling everything in exactly the right way OP. Great news that the scan was clear and you’re taking things step by step.

Glad to hear you’re doing ok OP. Tricky decision but don’t tell the father unless you are sure given that he can look to obtain parental responsibility and could complicate things if you are not in agreement about any adoption.

Thanks for the update OP. Don’t let anyone pressure you regarding the decision. It should be totally up to you (easier said than done).

Good luck op

i hope you’re doing ok

Sending hugs op

Thank you for updating us, I am sure that I am not the only mumsnetter who is thinking of you. ☕🍰

Gosh, what a whirlwind four days you’ve had, OP. Thank you for the updates. Like others, I keep checking in. Sending best wishes. x

Sounds like you have a good support network, whatever you decide. Best of luck and do keep us updated.

Thanks for the update. You're in my thoughts. Take care and be kind to yourself x

Glad you have a support system in place, OP. Your family sound lovely. I agree that it’s a good idea to tell the father before the birth. If you decide on adoption, he may wish to have custody, so it’s only fair that he has time to get organised if that’s the case. You don’t have to decide today…take it easy. x

Thank you for the update OP, glad you are being monitored and looked after. I hope you can take your time in making any decisions about your baby x

I hope you're ok