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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just found out I’m pregnant I must be over 30 weeks I am scared!

517 replies

Goldflamingo · 23/06/2024 13:20

Hi posting here as this thread seems to get the most traction.

I found out I was pregnant this morning. I haven’t had periods for 2 years as I’ve been on the pill and they’ve stopped them. I had no symptoms until recently. My belly is tiny, I’ve lost weight. I have been feeling so sick and dizzy, Saturday I went to a theme park with my daughter, I fainted and was sick everywhere. The medic came over and asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant and I laughed it off. I recovered and we went home.

Today I thought oh I will just take a test to rule it out. I was going shopping anyway so I didn’t specifically set out to buy a test, I just grabbed one with my shopping. I fully expected it to say negative, I was just doing it to humour myself. I knew there was an extremely slim chance but I was 99.99% sure it would be negative. I didn’t even look for 20 minutes as I was adamant it was a waste of time and would be negative. But no, two lines appeared. Because I left it so long I thought a possible false positive so I went out and got 6 more including a digi. All were dark positive and the digi said pregnant.

I went in to panic mode. I have not had sex in 30 weeks, the last time I had sex was November the 24th. I was dating somebody and things broke up after a few months as he moved abroad. I have not had sex or even dated since.

I called EPU, I explained the whole situation and they’ve said as I’m over 16 weeks, they can not take me under their care and I need to do an online referral for a midwife and urge the importance of the situation in my online referral. I have done an online referral and stressed they contact me asap. I can not find a direct number for the midwife’s, only the number for antenatal day Assesment unit. I don’t know what I should do, do I just go to a&e. Do I wait until the midwife’s have got back to me?

I am so scared. For all I know there’s more than one baby, the baby could be sick, the placenta could have developed incorrectly, the baby could be deformed, the baby could have a disability. Anything; because I haven’t been checked! So now I’m worrying!

I also drink a bottle of wine most weekends.

I am terrified something would have gone wrong but I’m in limbo until the midwife’s contact me back after they’ve received my referral. I don’t know what to do, do I go to A&E?? Am I going to be in trouble for not knowing until now?

I feel so uncomfortable sat here doing nothing about it until they’ve got back to me when I’m anywhere from 30-36 weeks pregnant. My other daughter was born at 33 weeks so I’m worrying!!!

please what do I do??? Do I go to a&e???

OP posts:
IWantThisSoMuch · 23/06/2024 22:02

Oh OP lots of love sent. It sounds like being admitted and monitored and scanned tomorrow is exactly what needs to happen and what you need to do. You have realised and it’s all ok, some people don’t realise until they are crowning.

IWantThisSoMuch · 23/06/2024 22:04

Dita73 · 23/06/2024 20:49

This has all happened in one day?!!

Don’t be a dick.
seriously. Some people wake up not knowing they are pregnant and deliver a baby at home a few hours later.
OP woke up, tested positive, realised she might be in labour and the hospital agreed and wanted her seen. It’s not fucking rocket science. They would have seen her urgently with no antenatal care also. I’m surprised the EPU didn’t signpost and forward her onto the wards that’s nearly negligent.

Dita73 · 23/06/2024 22:06

@IWantThisSoMuch I’m not being a dick. I just asked a bloody question

GenghisCalm · 23/06/2024 22:10

Dita73 · 23/06/2024 22:06

@IWantThisSoMuch I’m not being a dick. I just asked a bloody question

Did the thread not provide enough information for you to work this out for yourself?

Even if you just read the OP's posts you would be able to see a timeline.

IWantThisSoMuch · 23/06/2024 22:17

@Dita73 the OPs posts are really clear for you to read that yes this happened all today. You sound like you are disbelieving/troll hunting. Really poor form for the OP very freaked out. These things really do happen.

HateMyselfToo · 23/06/2024 22:19

Your mind must be racing. I'm glad you are getting medical attention and hope you are able to get some rest.

HooverHunting · 23/06/2024 22:21

Thanks for the update, OP! Hope tomorrow goes okay and you get some rest tonight

JanglyBeads · 23/06/2024 22:23

I think @Dita73 was just seeking clarification!

Dita73 · 23/06/2024 22:26

@JanglyBeads thank you

menopausalmare · 23/06/2024 22:34

Hi op. Wishing you well with the pregnancy and thanks for the update. If you don't mind me asking, are you a first time mum or have you already got a family? It's a lot to wrap your head around- you're going to be a mum (again?) soon.

JanFebAndOnwards · 23/06/2024 22:35

Op has a little girl already.

maddening · 23/06/2024 22:39

What a shock! So glad you are getting the right treatment and you have your sister for support x

SendNoodles · 23/06/2024 22:48

Thanks for the update, OP. Good for you for keeping a clear head and getting yourself seen despite the shock.

CandyLeBonBon · 23/06/2024 23:04

Oh my word op. Thanks for the update. If you can, see if you can get some antenatal counselling. This is a lot to take on board. Best of luck, and I hope everything is ok.

OiFatArse · 23/06/2024 23:23

Oh wow! What a shock but at least you know now and can get the appropriate help , I hope everything is ok with you & baby ❤️

Normallynumb · 24/06/2024 01:07

Such a huge shock for you!
You're in safe hands now so rest as make as you can and try and go with the flow
Also let your CMHT know

SapphireSeptember · 24/06/2024 03:12

💐 Wishing you the best @Goldflamingo . You must be in shock. Hopefully baby is healthy and everything goes well for you. ❤️

DoreenonTill8 · 24/06/2024 06:42

Thinking of you and hope goes well at the ultrasound @Goldflamingo.
For all the naysayers same thing was on one of the 999 programmes where the mum didn't know she was pregnant,its called a cryptic pregnancy.

Stacey Had No Idea She Was Pregnant Until Giving Birth In Her Hotel Room | Ambulance

Stacey had no idea she was pregnant until giving birth in her hotel room. This is a clip from a documentary series taking a detailed look at ambulance servic...

https://youtu.be/rYd_ks6bXRU?si=G6BMe_ZO5T-uDOoX

PlanBea · 24/06/2024 08:50

Oh @Goldflamingo what a shock for you! I wish you all the best. Keeping you in my thoughts

ThatVoodooThatYouDoooo · 24/06/2024 08:59

WhereIsTheHare · 23/06/2024 17:52

So are you saying no premenopausal woman should ever drink alcohol in case she falls accidentally pregnant while using contraception?

Take your crusade somewhere else, unless you have a Time Machine to lend to the OP. And see if you can find someone to help sort out your compassion bypass.

You say that in jest, but that has been a thing in the US in some places, I have read that certain medications are witheld in case the woman could possibly be pregnant. Mostly what I have seen is apocryphal, but I believe it.

IWantThisSoMuch · 24/06/2024 11:07

Hope everything is going well today OP and they have a care plan for you and you get to go home and get your head around this. Do ask about the perinatal mental health team if it’s not already been done.

thisoldcity · 24/06/2024 11:15

Been following this thread and just wanted to add all my good wishes for you, op. I have also known someone who had no idea they were pregnant until they ended up in A and E with severe pain and gave birth within hours. I don't know why it's so hard to believe for some people! I hope it all goes well now and you have a few weeks still to go. Glad to hear your sister is a good support.

Greenlittecat · 24/06/2024 11:18

You're in the right place. Hope you are ok! Must be a terrible shock

PaintDiagram · 24/06/2024 11:55

OP, I’ve been thinking about you since I read your post yesterday afternoon. How are you doing? I hope you’re being well taken care of, mentally and physically. Gosh the shock you must be in. Flowers

Hobbiesareapita · 24/06/2024 12:10

OP you can do this …tentative congratulations.
A close work colleague had a very big shock when she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy . She 100% did not know she was pregnant and it was her 2nd ! I had worked a shift with her the evening before. She had not put on any weight absolutely no bump .
Sending you all my best wishes .Xx