To be devastated with mum's reaction/emotional blackmail which basically means my children can never have a pet?

[MrsPuddleduck]

Bascially, after a lot of thought we decided to get a kitten. My friend's cat has had kittens so we know the mother's temperament etc and both boys like cats. My Mum hates cats so I had put off telling her because I knew I would have a lecture.

Basically my Dad had a heart attack three years ago and a triple bypass three years ago. He is allergic to cats. My Mum says that if we get the cat they will have to seriously restrict the amount of times they come and the length of time they stay and how much help they can give us with the Dc's. They will not be able to stay overnight anymore (they live about 15 mins away but stay over about 4 times a year so they can both have a drink eg Christmas).

My parents are the only 'help' we get and I really don't want to upset them but on the other hand it basically means our children can never have a pet.

I feel really upset about the whole thing, especially as we had told Ds1 (4 and a half) that we were getting the kitten and he has named him George. I tried to suggest this morning that we may not be able to get the kitten after all and he started to get het up about it so I dropped the subject.

Can you please let me have your honest opinions. Sorry its a bit long.

So, go to a pet rescue centre and help out. that would teach a child A LOT about society and how we can help.

I don't think I'd recommend having a pet to a child who was happy to throw stones at pets!!

"Bascially, after a lot of thought we decided to get a kitten"

Not enough thought IMO. Don't be so bloody selfish. There is that honest enough for you?

People who have allergies are seriously affected. I have a friend with a cat allergy - whenever she comes to stay which is only twice a year or so - the cats move out and the whole house is hoovered twice over before she comes and the curtains cleaned and all skirtings wiped. And she's still wheezing like a drain at the end of the visit.

If these are regular carers for you, and you want to encourage the grandparent/grandchild relationship (which can be such a truly wonderful relationship for both sides) then you should't get the kitten.

Or maybe not that kitten. Why not look for a puppy without fur? I seem to recall that some breeds (poodles???) are okay for some forms of allergies.

If your dad is really allergic to cats then it's probably not the best idea to get one. My mum is severley allergic to cats and I couldn't get one as she wouldn't even be able to step foot in our house, we don't even live in the same country but it's still something I have to think about for when she comes to stay. So...we ended up with a great big smelly dog .

We had a rabbit too but it was the most anti social, people hating thing I'd ever met. I wanted one that would hop around the house and be friendly so I went to the pet shop and asked for a lop eared rabbit (as these ones apparently are the freindliest adn easiest to train especially the bigger ones), anyway we ended up with a dwarf lionhead. After a while I called the shop to complain and she said to bring it back, err it's not a pair of shoes. So we kept it, it hated us we didn't particularly like it either but we rabbit proofed the garden and it hopped around all day and hopped around the house pooing and chewing everything, until it died.

Now the dd's want a hamster or guinea pig, I'll probably end up getting one.

if getting a kitten would keep my mum away I would have got one years ago.

sorry not helpful but true.

do you not agree that it HELPS children to learn how to be considerate and responsible? I just feel sorry for anyone who doesn't even have a goldfish. (the more pets you have the bigger your heart).

LOL at Mrs Weasley

Londoner - it's cobblers to assume that what's true for you is true of everyone else

My DH wouldn't have a goldfish (let alone the great big slobbery dog we have) if it were up to him and he couldn't BE a kinder, more generous man....
Littlelapin has said the same thing.

You mentioned about kids who throw stones at gerbils...... Do you REALLY honestly believe that they would be different if they owned one themselves?

Londoner with respect, that is complete and utter bolleaux, I had loads of pets as a child and I am a complete and utter selfish cow.

Londoner is right - after all having a succession of pets has made Paris Hilton such an unselfish lovely person.....

RustyBear!!

we had tons of pets as children and I hate the stinking, shitting, hair losing, smelly, messy lot of em

No pet will ever darken my door

londoner I think willmouse's children will benefit more from having their grandpa around than from unselfishly learning from a cat, which species of domestic animal embodies self-contained self-centredness IME
We don't have pets for the selfish reason that all of us are out of the house for most of the day Monday to Friday. My two still understand how to treat other people's pets with the appropriate mix of consideration and affection.

Message withdrawn

I am just lazy and don't want another thing to add to my list to do, ie clear up shit/hair, feed, walk, etc etc

For every lovely Edgar cod, there is a "Boris" out there, trust me.
Our cats were hairball-spitting, bag-widdling sociopaths We still loved them, but I'm with olive on this - too many olfactory and physical scars

If you want a pet to teach your children how to be less selfish, then get one that needs attention. Cats choose whether to have attention or not and, as long as food is put down regularly, don't really need humans (often don't need them for that if they're hunters). Whereas dogs need walking and soak up attention from humans. Greater responsibility - and be aware that you will end up bearing most of that, not the children.

The children can learn to be less selfish and more caring by doing without a pet for the benefit of their grandfather's health FFS.

'We got the pet so the children could learn to be more caring, so please don't come to visit if it is going to make you ill Dad.' Yup that one is going to work.

Londoner, I think you made a slight error with your comment, "the more pets you have the bigger your heart".

IME the correct statement is "the more pets you have, the bigger your bill for kennel/cattery/local teenager every single time you want a night away".

well obviously I wasn't suggesting to the op that she got a cat so that her dad would have to stay away. She could get anything - a goldfish, a terrapin, a rabbit, who cares, I just think that it would do her kids good to have one, be fun, etc etc - but not one that anyone is going to be allergic to. I was responding to the posts that say having a pet is not of benefit to children. oops, while you are all having a go, read this !

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2045704.stm

I would like my children to have a pet to grow up with. I work from home and have the time to look after a pet properly.

I have now totally resigned myself that a cat was completely the wrong decision and I will NOT be getting one.

I have been a really bad mummy and already told DS1 so may suggest an alternative pet.

I think it is good to learn how to care for an animal and take part in feeding etc.

I never had a pet as a child and I am not horrible to animals at all in fact the opposite is true I absolutley love animals. If I go to anyones house who has a pet I home in on the said animal at first opportunity to give it as much fuss as it will tolerate!

Good for you, willmouse.

Oh, Willmouse!! You might have met your match in my house - My dog is happy to receive as much fuss as can be dished out!!!!

It would be like a fussathon if you came to visit!!