Nobody's "pearl-clutching". You're mostly talking to Gen X women who grew up with punk, not Victorians or wartime generation. We don't live in the 1950s - that's the people who think pink n blue sex stereotypes and whether you played with Barbie as a child is actually what determines whether you're "really" male or female, and that if you're a teenage girl who fancies girls or doesn't like her body or want to cake herself with makeup, she can't be a "real woman" and needs a double mastectomy and lifelong synthetic medication that'll give her osteoporosis in her 20s.
Also that middle aged married straight men can suddenly state they're "lesbians" and have "always been women" but strangely like to call themselves "girls" and aren't interested in any surgery but boob jobs. And meanwhile, there are women being lied about, losing their jobs, having to go to tribunals, demonised for saying no, for talking about basic facts, not being asked if they were happy to share their spaces in the first place, threatened with violence if they don't pander, while politicians like Starmer are too scared of their well-funded lobby so STILL continue enabling it, even to the point of failing to support their own MPs who've been threatened with death. Meanwhile, there's the "kind helpfulness" of nice sheltered usually middle class women who don't understand fetishes and think pandering to the men who've suddenly appeared in their women's groups and spaces and excommunicating any woman who questions them is somehow being "kind".
We're talking about something that you haven't noticed. That's your problem.
Oh, and it's less about "trans people" (can you define what that is, btw?) than it is about WOMEN. It's also about democracy, equality, human rights, the rule of law, safeguarding, and what checks and balances there are around the influence of lobby groups.
So the human, legal and democratic rights of ALL women. I'm sorry you still haven't managed to figure it out yet. But that doesn't mean the rest of us haven't.