AIBU to insist my son has the suspension lifted?

[NightmareATschool]

First time in trouble for any kind of physical altercation

My son is in year 8 and yesterday was pinned to the ground, twisting his wrist behind his back as he went down ( we went to a&e to have it checked after school as swollen and bruised ) and was then held down by this boy.

My son is 5 foot 5 and the other pupil is at least 5 foot 9 and a lot bigger built.

The boy was pinning him down with his legs trapped underneath him and his holding both of his arms on my sons right arm ( fingerprint bruising is visible because of this ) so my son used his left arm to hit out and hit the boys head.

Boy then get off and walks across the playground and son sits on a bench holding his sore arm.

The boy then returns, runs at him from the side view and punches down on my sons head.

SLT state both to be suspended due to violence.

I have started absolutely not, that the violence is on completely different levels and one was very much in self defence and one was completely premeditated.

I’ve sent in the complaint from from the schools complain procedure policy and I’ve CCd the SEN governors as my son has ADHD.

This happened at 11am yesterday and he spent the entire day in isolation, only being allowed to go to the lunch hall to get something to eat and then return to isolation.
Surely this is punishment enough for defending yourself whilst pinned to the ground?

Thoughts?
Anything else I could do? Thanks

He was already in isolation for 4 hours yesterday.

I wasn’t contacted until 2 hours after the event presumably so they could contact parents when at least some of the investigations had already happened as by this point all statements had been done etc as she told me.

I think you have done all the correct things you can.
Pursue the complaint through the school's procedure. I would say though we often take students out of class following an incident like this to gather information and statements not as a punishment. It's not often appropriate to return someone to a lesson who is bruised or shocked.
You mentioned your son has ADHD is this a formal diagnosis and does he have an EHCP? Reasonable adjustments for this condition don't prevent a school from suspensions as you know. However the SLT should have been aware of this when questioning him.
And I expect you know you can't insist the school change their decision, you can pursue your complaint to get the suspension expunged from his record.

Probably have to suspend both pending investigation OP. The school needs to collate all the evidence and then if it corresponds with what your son has said, the suspension may be lifted. Schools don’t always accept self defence justification for lashing out though. Unfortunately.

In that case I wouldn't be happy with their reaction, or the fact that my son is feeling so unsafe there. They are letting him down.

I would not be happy with this based on your updates.

A child should be able to defend themselves. Not escalate. Defend themselves.

I have had this argument with a school before and won. Quite similar to asking what you did: if the SLT member was being physically held down, trapped under the weight of another person, on the floor, would they seriously just lie there? Or would they look to get the person off of them and away from them.

So not on.

You should have had a letter setting out your right to make representations to the governors, and you should exercise that right. In the meantime, you are entitled to copies of all the relevant records, including witness statements and accounts of any interviews with staff. The school is required to keep records of the isolation and the reasons for that, and again you should ask for a copy.

I would suggest you also raise a formal safeguarding complaint, as obviously the other boy should not have had free rein to attack your child like that.

i doubt that op
i think that may be your chosen interpretation of what the SLT told you

either way… not. a. chance. the school bow to you “insisting” a blooming thing

If this happened as you said I would be absolutely livid. I wouldn't actually send my child back to a school that punished him instead of contacting me after he was assaulted. I have a child a similar age and would be raging.

I think people are missing the point . If you were pinned down by anyone on. The ground , hurting you would you kick, punch do what the hell you needed to get them off or politely say can we have a chat ?

I agree with you Nightmare at School. I have a dear friend whose daughter was relentlessly persued by a pupil saying vile things to her, making sexual innuendos for months. She reported him to the staff and he was “spoken to”.
The pestering continued until she snapped and slapped him on the face and burst out crying. She was put in isolation for several days as she had used physical force against this boy.

And your evidence for such an accusatory post is?

This is quite a rude reply and absolutely was what she said!
The phone call was 45 minutes long and I took notes.
He is attending Monday when the suspension was meant to happen so unless they choose to suspend at a later date it kind of already has been overturned in some way

Unfortunately he only has a few close friends and they both attend this school so he won’t move

@NightmareATschool Has there been any investigation of what happened? This should be taking place. Is the suspension because they are investigating? Had your DS put his side of events? I’m assuming this isn’t an exclusion. If he’s not spoken to someone investigating, look up the policy on behaviour and make sure the school is following it. Then you can make sense of what’s happening. Usually there are procedures to be followed.

@keeptryinggirl you would be surprised sometimes being the parent who just says nah is enough to get schools to realise they teach kids not raise them.

How confident is DS? I would send him in on the days he's meant to be suspended and tell him to say no if you have a problem contact my mam (DS would find it hilarious) as I am legally entitled to an education. Your other option is to use the suspension day as a day to do something fun with DS as a one up to the school if it won't effect is ability to go on end of year trips etc. Tho ours was a theme park trip so I would have just paid DS in and sat in the cafe as he went off with his mates of the school banned him.

You haven't answered the question regarding what started it.

I agree that the line on violence/retaliation/self defence is wrong...but it's also pretty standard. As PP said a suspension isn't necessarily punishment, it's a way to prevent immediate backlash/continuation where there has been violence.

Your description doesn't make a lot of sense but that's because it's third hand. It may be school were focusing on telling you how he was injured rather than describing the full event?

Sounds very incompetent if they admit it was self defence but then suspend him anyway. Maybe they feel that punching wasn’t the best reaction and that this was more of a fight than an attack. But the comment that if you send him in, you need to fill in a form makes me think they know they are in the wrong.

A child was attacked on school property and the school staff choose to put the injured child in isolation?

From 11am until 3pm at least, the child didn't receive emergency treatment but perhaps a brief first aid assessment.

Surely this is part of your complaint?

How can a mum or dad feel safe knowing the adults around their child are so intent on punishment than deal with the first issue: an injured child.

Firstly, it sounds awful and you have my sympathy.

What did the police say when you reported it?

I would request a meeting with the head and DSL, copy the meeting request to the governor responsible for safeguarding (should be on the website). Mention that you have reported to police and that you want to discuss why the school failed to protect your son and why there was neither CCTV or anyone on duty when it happened.

State that this is a formal complaint and copy it also to Chair of Governors. If you don’t get any positive result, escalate to OFSTED (slightly different path if independent school, but similar).

So sorry you’re going through this with your Ds OP and I’m sorry about so so f the posts here where people don’t believe your sons story.

When I was 17 I was jumped on by several other youths, pinned down and my head stomped on. My natural reaction was to fight back. I hit one of them over the head with my mobile phone (trusted old Nokia brick). I ended up in hospital the next day and they was worried I had a skull fracture, luckily it was just concussion. Then I got a call from the police that I had been accused of GBH for hitting one of them. It is of course a natural reaction to defend yourself. No one can say they wouldn’t put up a fight if pinned to the ground? Luckily I wasn’t charged and the police did nothing due to the fact 3 people pinned me down and it was obviously self defence.

The school are wrong for punishing your DS when it’s obvious he did nothing wrong other than defend himself.

I agree with you that it's unfair. If an adult was attacked in the same way the police wouldn't punish the victim for doing what your ds did.

Having worked in a school for many years, I doubt you will get this overturned.

It sounds awful for your poor son.

The police should be informed IME, nothing else really works. It usually ends up a "6 of one, half a dozen of the other" crappy investigation result, where the perpetrator carries on and other pupils are cowed into not "dobbing" them in 🙄😡.

I also have a child with Adhd and I know know how he can wind the other kids up .I would at least be questioning what led to the Initial assault. Not that I am saying its OK. Just that there are always 2 side to every story,and kids are kids none of them are innocent.

I would push in your position. I’ve found schools very keen to label violence as joint. They don’t like to say someone is bullying or being bullied. My son was punched in the head /ear from behind standing waiting for a school bus from his usual bully.

Headteacher asked what he had done to upset the boy. I was so unimpressed at the victim blaming.

It's assault.

Speak to the police

I am sick of these school attacks