AIBU to insist my son has the suspension lifted?

[NightmareATschool]

First time in trouble for any kind of physical altercation

My son is in year 8 and yesterday was pinned to the ground, twisting his wrist behind his back as he went down ( we went to a&e to have it checked after school as swollen and bruised ) and was then held down by this boy.

My son is 5 foot 5 and the other pupil is at least 5 foot 9 and a lot bigger built.

The boy was pinning him down with his legs trapped underneath him and his holding both of his arms on my sons right arm ( fingerprint bruising is visible because of this ) so my son used his left arm to hit out and hit the boys head.

Boy then get off and walks across the playground and son sits on a bench holding his sore arm.

The boy then returns, runs at him from the side view and punches down on my sons head.

SLT state both to be suspended due to violence.

I have started absolutely not, that the violence is on completely different levels and one was very much in self defence and one was completely premeditated.

I’ve sent in the complaint from from the schools complain procedure policy and I’ve CCd the SEN governors as my son has ADHD.

This happened at 11am yesterday and he spent the entire day in isolation, only being allowed to go to the lunch hall to get something to eat and then return to isolation.
Surely this is punishment enough for defending yourself whilst pinned to the ground?

Thoughts?
Anything else I could do? Thanks

There is a lot of misinformation in this thread and I would be wary of taking advice from some of the posters. OP you need to follow the policies of your school and not take advice from people who would send their child in anyway!!

have you had an official suspension letter? I only ask because you say he is going in on Monday anyway? Has the school agreed this or are you saying you will send him regardless? If he is suspended officially he cannot be on school grounds or out and about, a PP suggesting he is legally allowed an education is correct however, that doesn’t have to be on school site. He can be directed to on line learning.

Disputing a suspension is within your rights but you are in a much better position to do what is required regarding the suspension and then follow the complaints procedure. Usually it will go to governors first, maybe an option to appeal to the LA afterwards.

It isn’t an easy option for schools to suspend and there are many considerations. Much the same as in the real world self defence isn’t always applicable. But the main point is not whether any of us agree it should be a suspension but you follow the correct channels to appeal.

No I’m sending him in because when I told SLT I disagreed with the suspension she said “ ok, send him in but complete an online complaints form on our website and send it over to me “ which I did straight away so it was received before the end of the school day.

So you think that pushing someone to the ground and pinning them down is an appropriate way of handling seeing someone kicking a water bottle that fell out of your bag?

My son has has his water stolen from him whilst still in the canteen when he has just bought it and drank in front of him by older pupils ( reported to school ) and didn’t push someone to the ground and pin them down.

Jesus H Christ OP. Can you imagine any single poster here being assaulted like that in their workplace, and then being suspended for being attacked, and noone calls the police?

This is assault, call the police now. I can't understand this bizarre idea that if someone punches you in the head it's GBH but if it's at school it's...much less bad or something?! And then when you tell other people they're like, 'well did that really happen, your story doesn't ad dup', and so on.

Your poor DS my heart goes out to him!

agreed

ate you seriously expecting us to believe an SLT told you this op?

It doesn't matter how much he (potentially) wound someone up, they should not have attacked him. It is absolutely wrong to blame the victim of an assault.

It’s all well as good saying things don’t add up but this is absolutely how it happened so to the posters who are helping thank you but you those who keep insisting on that it didn’t happen like this and that SLT would never have told me this - you’re wrong

I have been SLT myself and things do get said that shouldn’t - she mentioned the boys name by accident to and then apologised as she shouldn’t have.

This made no difference as it’s not a boy my son even knows or has any interactions / altercations with beforehand.

She absolutely said he was suspended and after I told her this was ridiculous etc she told me to fill out the complaints form online and email it to her which I did.

I then reported it online to the police and emailed her the reference number and then I took my son to hospital after school to be checked over and the hospital said to email school and include that too as they will be completing a “ safeguarding in schools “ form which is sent to Children’s services so they may well be contacted ( the school ) to ask how their safeguarding policy ensures these incidents won’t happen again.

Theyll have a hard time answering that one seeing as the CCTV doesn’t cover the playground!

op has there been any history between this boy and your son?
is your son generally happy at school?
has he ever mentioned this boy to you?

I have been SLT myself and things do get said that shouldn’t - she mentioned the boys name by accident to and then apologised as she shouldn’t have.

and more than that. She told you about his record in the past

and you just throw in that you have been an SLT?! So… you would know “insisting” a suspension is lifted is… daft

is this policy they refer to documented anywhere OP?

exactly

i suspect the son also has a fairly…. relaxed stance about the truth and detail

I was SLT in a DSL / Home school link
worker capacity through primary schools

I wasn’t responsible for imposing sanctions and never came across a suspension in primary

There has been nothing at all between my son and this boy - he hasn’t been in a single lesson with him since starting secondary 2 years ago

He struggles at school due to his ADHD and not feeling socially popular but he won’t move as he has 2 friends in there at that’s important for him

The policy is on the school website if that’s what you mean?
It is under the “ complaints procedure “ section and asks you to list what category the complaint falls under which is this one :
Disciplinary matters: the staff member who initiated the sanction

hence why I completed it and emailed it to the member of SLT dealing

no op
you have misunderstood

you said that the school’s policy that both parties suspended if either engaged in any violence

is this documented anywhere

Yes because it’s not relevant as it was in primary and I was not involved / responsible for any sanctions or behaviour.

I was a member of SLT but in the capacity of DSL and link worker.

You only have one side of the story so far. And you can insist all you want. It's. It your decision.

sweet jesus

you didn’t think it was relevant

you were SLT at a primary
it really is NOTt very different from an SLT at sec

but… you should know that really

Apologies,
Ill look at the behaviour policy now

Sorry that should say - you can insist all you want

Yes, this will pass and it is difficult to be objective when it is your child. Even if the other boy was in the wrong ( or more wrong than your son), I think you should let it go. I totally understand your upset and frustration. The school have a professional obligation to investigate. Let's hope both boys can reflect and learn from this

It's not your decision

an SGL

and you didn’t know that “insisting” anything would be utterly fruitless

Thank you for suggesting this as their policy hasn’t been followed looking at this..