AIBU to insist my son has the suspension lifted?

[NightmareATschool]

First time in trouble for any kind of physical altercation

My son is in year 8 and yesterday was pinned to the ground, twisting his wrist behind his back as he went down ( we went to a&e to have it checked after school as swollen and bruised ) and was then held down by this boy.

My son is 5 foot 5 and the other pupil is at least 5 foot 9 and a lot bigger built.

The boy was pinning him down with his legs trapped underneath him and his holding both of his arms on my sons right arm ( fingerprint bruising is visible because of this ) so my son used his left arm to hit out and hit the boys head.

Boy then get off and walks across the playground and son sits on a bench holding his sore arm.

The boy then returns, runs at him from the side view and punches down on my sons head.

SLT state both to be suspended due to violence.

I have started absolutely not, that the violence is on completely different levels and one was very much in self defence and one was completely premeditated.

I’ve sent in the complaint from from the schools complain procedure policy and I’ve CCd the SEN governors as my son has ADHD.

This happened at 11am yesterday and he spent the entire day in isolation, only being allowed to go to the lunch hall to get something to eat and then return to isolation.
Surely this is punishment enough for defending yourself whilst pinned to the ground?

Thoughts?
Anything else I could do? Thanks

"As a teacher with behaviour responsibilities, you should know that the terminology isn’t ‘suspended’. It’s a fixed term exclusion (internal or external)."

I think the term is suspension again now.

@Soontobe60 it actually is now suspended not a FTE. Guidance change in 2023 to change terminology

Hmm sounds like SLT have got confused around the sanction, as it's only a headteacher who can issue a formal suspension from school, and then backtracked.
If you haven't got a formal letter then sounds like it's not an official suspension and they will be doing an in school sanction like isolation!?
They've confused things by using the word suspension imo.

Although I have known it of schools giving the letter the morning of saying the pupil is suspended so prepare for that. If so, take your son home and follow the process with the governors, the letter should outline this process.

I'm completely baffled how things that would be a criminal offence and taken very seriously if they involved adults, are so tolerated in school. Especially the assumption that it must be "six of one and half a dozen of the other" as many posters are concluding here. Why doubt the OPs version of events, why assume her son must be more culpable then she is saying, just because he is a child? If a teacher had been assaulted in the manner OPs son was, the culprit would be permanent excluded and police involved by the school

Yes I’m assuming that maybe because I was very quick on the phone call once I knew he had only hit out in self defence, to say that I don’t think a suspension is at all reasonable bearing in mind he had already had nearly a full day in isolation by the point of the phone call, that this is why I didn’t receive the letter as she knows he is attending tomorrow.

She said she would be in contact on Monday so I’ve emailed in and said that I want this contact either in person or in writing as with a phone call I have no way of documenting anything other than taking notes whilst trying to concentrate on the call!

Thank you for your support!
I can’t see what on earth I would have to achieve my lying on an Internet forum about the version of events!
If my son had done more / was the instigator etc then I would happily say so on here and ask for advice in the same way!

I think that's her point

As I said, the reason for this according to the member of staff was that he used physical violence and that’s a “ line in the sand “

My point is that he had no other choice

Give it up with the amateur detective act. You’re not impressing anyone.

Thank you - it’s just a bit weird isn’t it.

I actually hope she’s the other boys mum hence the bizarre interest!

You are a genuinely bizarre person.

I agree. I also find the attitude of assuming all kids are liars and "don't be that parent" to challenge anything ever around school processes quite depressing. I don't like that parents are automatically expected to take the school's word over their kids. Like schools or people in authority never get anything wrong. It's an awful position for a parent to have side against their child, without being provided with any evidence. How do you foster an open relationship of trust if you don't support or believe your child? It's our role as parents to ensure our children are treated justly and fairly and the processes should be transparent. If evidence shows child is lying, then that's another matter entirely, but a parent should not be made to feel bad when there is no other evidence infront of them. I'm glad the police are involved op, I hope all goes okay tomorrow.

Thanks for your reply and well wishes for today.

I think now that the adrenaline has worn off, I’m feeling very sad and worried about what’s happened and what could possibly happen when this boy returns to school

Its such a worry 😢

Yanbu OP. I'm not sure why everyone is jumping on you.

Schools do this regularly. They don't want drama with the bullies family. So for them it's easier to punish the kid who used self defence too.

It's wrong. And teaches the bumly they can get away with it.

Insist away and push as much as you can op!

My friends kid with autism and adhere was in year 7..some kids have been bullying him since the start. A few months ago they punched him and shoved him in a Bush. He was badly injured. He managed to film them.

Guess who got into trouble.... he did
For filming them. Parents got pulled into a meeting. He got sent home and detentions. They threatened suspension.

I have met her kid. He wouldn't say boo to a goose. He is also very kind and clever and physically couldn't be violent to someone else without hurting himself. So the bullies shoved him in a Bush. Punched him. And he got into trouble for filming.

Schools need to sort out the way they deal with things!

This is why there are so many arrogant people and bullies walking around.

That is so awful but I’m not surprised sadly.

Schools do seem to be one big cover up story 😢

So far I’ve heard precisely…nothing

I hope they threaten to sue that school for what little it’s worth. And the media should probably get ahold of that story as well. Prospective students and parents have a right to know how little that school cares about the welfare of its students.

Very few times I would advocate for the Daily Mail... but this is one of those times. They would love this, and it may make the school act - though of course the poor lad would probably suffer more.

Poor kid 😡

have you heard from the school?

If it's on your mobile you can record the call.

The terminology changed in the guidance, but not in the underlying law. Either term is correct.

Yep - suspension has been lifted

No formal sanction aside from the time spent in isolation on Friday whilst it was being investigated

I agree!

Good.

I really wish schools would just think before acting and the stress and worry about this has taken over the whole weekend and most of today 😢

Obviously I am glad it’s been lifted but it also makes me sad that if I didn’t do all I did and question it, refer to police, get him checked at hospital - they may have stuck to it which would have been massively unfair!

what a relief for you!!

Did the police attend?

Do you know about the other boy re whether he’s still suspended?