to wonder if a high ponytail sends a message I'm unaware of?

[AuntieWithAttitude]

I was watching a friend's kid after school and told her about a summer camp where I used to work. We often helped the kids put their hair in 'camper buns'—a messy bun right on top of their heads. She asked me to do it for her, but didn't like it, so we ended up with a super high ponytail instead. She loved it and had fun swishing it around.

When her mum saw it, she commented on how high it was and then lowered it.
I didn't really think too much of it, until today on TV a character wore a high ponytail, and other characters remarked on how high it was, saying things like 'erm, are you sure you want to wear your hair like that?'.

Am I missing something about the significance of high ponytails? I can be bad at this stuff, subtle cues and such, I'm wondering if I've caused offence to my friend somehow. She seemed really weird about it. Don't want to make the same mistake again if I've misunderstood the significance of something.

Can I just say these kind of threads are mumsnet at its worst. So sneery and judgemental.

No I don't think so, just a normal 4 year old!

Yes, some people consider it 'chavvy', council estate, common, etc. Vicky pollard yeah but no but yeah, all that sort of shit.

Those people are twats. Which imo is far worse than being so-called 'common'.

Oh gosh I really really didn't mean to be either of those things, I was just curious. Now that you've said it I can see how it could easily go that way. Feel like I've opened a can of worms now. Sincere apologies.

Was known as a Croydon face lift if pulled very tight

It's a hard 'chav' style and also for some people apparently has associations with BJ's.

But we should ignore these things really.

Really?
Not seeing a lot of that on this thread tbh. Knowing how some people see things is in itself neither sneery nor judgemental.

Before reading the full thread my first thought was this sort of person: annoying and wholesome.

to be fair she didn't say anything other than 'oh wow that's high!' and then a few minutes later 'come here and let me change your hair'.

That's genuinely helpful 😂 i didn't know why they kept mocking her for it! Thank you!

I realised my hair is so heavy if I put it in a high pony it pulls the wrinkles out of my forehead, so the Croydon facelift thing is actually a thing.

I discouraged my daughter from having her hair in a high pony because she took after me in that she has about four people's worth of hair on her one head and I didn't want her getting traction alopecia. It does suit her when she does wear it though, although she reckons it makes her look like "a horse girl".

I generally wear my hair like this when at home working as it keeps hair out of way. And then let it down for zoom calls.

I'd see it more as "horsey/sporty type girl" or maybe "girl like Sandy in Greece or her keen friend with blonde long pony tail" - patty simcox? Or elizabeth of Sweey Valley High. Wholesome? sporty?

croydon face lift is more VERY tight pony tail or bun.

I wouldn’t worry too much.

You did nothing wrong (imo). This is most likely simply about some people’s personal preferences.

High ponytails (and buns!) are simply practical hairstyles for exercising, hot summer days etc. for me personally 🤷‍♀️👱‍♀️

I thought that the original Croydon face lift (as worn by Kate Moss) was never on top of the head, it was just pulled back really tight giving you that stretched face look.

We used to call the high pony a pineapple because that’s what it made you look like.

Vicky pollard and Croydon face-lift was years ago though, surely young kids today have no idea about these things, and just wear it high because they like it, especially primary age! I like a high bun because I have very thick hair, and a scuffy high bun makes my face look slimmer 😂

Patti Simcox died recently. RIP

I love a high pony! Makes me feel like a tennis player

If it was right up there on the very top of her head like that, was the ponytail parting and looking like it would get in her face? I wouldn't do DDs like that because it would all end up flopping forward if she looked downwards, might that have been why she didn't like it?

Where did she move it to? That might give a clue on what her issue with it was.

Not sure what it means nowadays but when I was at school a high pony tail meant you were a bit a slag.

I have a patterned undercut so I love a good high pony tail.

you sound like a nice person who was doing a favour for their friend. I hope she managed to show appreciation for that when she wasn't being peculiar about a 4 year old's pony tail.

During a previous backlash against women, I heard a bloke describe the scraped-back look as the 'vermin hairstyle', to general sniggers. It was held to be how young 'underclass' mothers styled their hair to push their prams about.

It would be nice to think times & attitudes have changed.

This the Croydon facelift!

Sometimes it can be quite tight if it's high up? Maybe they know their kid gets uncomfortable with it being like that. Or they just personally thought it looked ridiculous. I wouldn't worry about it.

That bun is really practical for bedtime, it wouldn't press on her head when she's lying on a pillow.

I see small girls with 'pineapple' hairstyles and I know how I used to do my daughter's hair like this - she was much shorter than me and it was the work of seconds to whip her hair up on top of her head, hence pineapple.

When I was at school back in the 90s none of us had high ponytails because it was only the "sharons and tracys" who had them. And none of us wanted to be called a sharon.