to wonder if a high ponytail sends a message I'm unaware of?

[AuntieWithAttitude]

I was watching a friend's kid after school and told her about a summer camp where I used to work. We often helped the kids put their hair in 'camper buns'—a messy bun right on top of their heads. She asked me to do it for her, but didn't like it, so we ended up with a super high ponytail instead. She loved it and had fun swishing it around.

When her mum saw it, she commented on how high it was and then lowered it.
I didn't really think too much of it, until today on TV a character wore a high ponytail, and other characters remarked on how high it was, saying things like 'erm, are you sure you want to wear your hair like that?'.

Am I missing something about the significance of high ponytails? I can be bad at this stuff, subtle cues and such, I'm wondering if I've caused offence to my friend somehow. She seemed really weird about it. Don't want to make the same mistake again if I've misunderstood the significance of something.

Im from Essex and we call it the northern facelift 🤣🤣
got to love a stereotype!

Maybe because it bloody hurts after a while!

In Greys anatomy it's because in the US the high ponytail is associated with a cheerleader/peppy persona and Meredith was the exact opposite so they were making fun of her.

Anybody who would make that comment about a child's hairstyle is thick-witted to the point that they will never recover. Utterly stupid.

Why must some people always comment on what other people look like? If mum doesn't like the hairstyle she can change it but to stamp a simple pontytail with such a nasty condemnation says much about her. Shame she has a daughter really.

A Croydon facelift?

High ponytail sending a message - i mean that's insane.

Do people really think like this?

It causes traction alopecia so it's really bad for the hair. I guess it could be considered a bit dated/ chavvy. (Like Vicky Pollard stereotype)
But on a child, it seems normal and cute!

Maybe she thought it looked like it would give her a headache after a while so she fixed it?

It was!! Not usually the basis for pondering real life but it just sparked a thought and I figured it couldn't hurt to ask.

I once read (or saw in a documentary) that many rapists specifically target women with hair in ponytails or 1 plait as it's something they can grab and use as physical leverage. I now wear my hair down if it's late and I'm alone. I doubt this was the issue for your friend and her child though. Perhaps it's a preference or due to alopecia as mentioned.

Was just thinking this, I’m an NHS worker and always sport either the high ponytail or “chav bun” someone else so delightfully described up thread. Practical styles for long hair in roles or situations where you need to keep your hair away from your face.

Pure snobbery.

Its the bun is the attitude hair style.

The higher up the bun and more tight it is, the bigger the bitch.

As witnessed myself at work and a couple of females near me have bitch buns and have a serious attitude problem.

I personally love a high ponytail. But I think some people see it as a "chavy" style 🤔 🤷🏻‍♀️

When I was younger and had long hair, I much preferred a high ponytail, especially in hot weather. So much more comfortable not having loads of sweaty hair clinging to the back of your neck.

As others have said unless you also gave her giant hoops and thick drawn on brows I don’t see the problem. I’m about to do some gardening and I’ve just put my hair in the highest ponytail I can manage, it’s just practical when you have long hair. Plus, you’re never too old to swish it about like a horse!!

Of course they do! See how many posters think it's the style of a rough girl, I agree with them. The mum won't have thought it might give her daughter a headache, it's because she didn't want her child giving off chav vibes. It's along the same lines as little boys with number 1 cuts or patterns cut into their hair.

Basically that yup! This is the camper bun look, but we took the bun out and left it just as a pony. This isn't my friends daughter by the way, just googled it to give you the idea.

it's such a fun feeling! I remember my sister in the early 90's would wear hers up high with a big bow and I loved walking behind her watching it swish <3

This is all so ridiculous. I am sure it looked lovely OP. I used to wear high ponies all the time as a child.

I didn't before today, but like I said I'm so bad at this stuff. Sometimes I just like to check if I've missed a cue or a 'norm'.

Wasn't that a pulled back tight pony tail named as a Croydon face lift?

Why a high pony tail or any other pony tail for that matter can't just be seen as such is beyond me.

The England football team wear them (women’s team) and I don’t see them having a problem with it!

Me too - and I used to find it really upsetting as a teenager.

I’ve never even thought about this…

She might have been worried about tension headaches. 🤔 Is the girl particularly headache prone?

Traction alopecia might be something to considered regarding (very!) tight buns and ponytails. But she’d have to wear the same hear style quite frequently…

High ponytails are great for hot summer days and / or when exercising. Getting the hair away from my neck is such a relieve when I get sweaty…

Thanks for the replies! I've never watched Catherine Tate and had never heard of a Croydon Facelift so to me a high pony has always been a sporty/practical in the heat hairstyle. I was just wondering if I'd misunderstood a situation which would be blindingly obvious to others (wouldn't be the first time). But seems maybe it was just a personal preference thing and not something to give to much thought to :)