to wonder if a high ponytail sends a message I'm unaware of?

[AuntieWithAttitude]

I was watching a friend's kid after school and told her about a summer camp where I used to work. We often helped the kids put their hair in 'camper buns'—a messy bun right on top of their heads. She asked me to do it for her, but didn't like it, so we ended up with a super high ponytail instead. She loved it and had fun swishing it around.

When her mum saw it, she commented on how high it was and then lowered it.
I didn't really think too much of it, until today on TV a character wore a high ponytail, and other characters remarked on how high it was, saying things like 'erm, are you sure you want to wear your hair like that?'.

Am I missing something about the significance of high ponytails? I can be bad at this stuff, subtle cues and such, I'm wondering if I've caused offence to my friend somehow. She seemed really weird about it. Don't want to make the same mistake again if I've misunderstood the significance of something.

top tip - maybe stop throwing the word 'chav' around so freely if you're concerned about how your behaviour comes across or impacts others.

It is topical to this thread. That’s what the hairstyle is viewed as.

No...draw a line from your chin to your crown - there's a sort of natural line through your cheek bones. It shouldn't be higher than that. It's sort of the top back of your skull. I didn't mean in line with your chin in a horizontal sense... Sorry 🤭

Ah I see! I thought you many horizontally at chin level and was thinking I was really ramping up the “ high factor!”

I thought the Croydon face-lift was down to Kate Moss😅

When I was young, many moons ago, girls with low ponytails were seen more amongst the so-called middle class & private school pupils. I remember that very clearly.

Which word would you prefer to use instead to describe the particular demographic that can instantly be identified by the word "chav"?

Perhaps they are less likely to fiddle with a low ponytail? The problem with a high one is that the hair at the back keeps coming loose, unless it is very tight or a lot of hairspray is used.

A high pony tail is common.

A lower one is for bossy female school prefects in a second rate school.

And an in-betweenie?

Why are people getting so offended at people who are merely answering the OP's question? It's not as if we're going round shouting at random people that they look chavvy or common or whatever you want to call it. I didn't make the rules! The people who are screaming 'Hyacinth Bucket' are being every bit as rude and judgemental as they claim that we are being.

I’d never really thought about it, but (excepting runners, who look jolly with a high pony swishing about), I guess it would make me think the wearer was from “the wrong side of the tracks”. I can’t imagine my mother ever styling my long hair in a high ponytail when I was little, and indeed I have never worn it like that as an adult (when I have had long hair). I always wear a low ponytail or plait. It’s silly isn’t it, but being honest that’s the first reaction I have to high ponytails.

Unfortunately as far as I have been informed by friends when I tried it, it is now often associated with the porn industry as men hold onto it and force the head forwards abd backwards during ahem recieving oral pleasure.

Is this thread really still going on?

Aren’t your friends charming?!

Ariana Grande must be crying reading this thread 😂😂😂

Tbh I always thought she adopted it precisely because of some of the reasons here : essentially kind of for a reaction.

Maybe I totally missed that she was aiming for flawless elegance; but most in her industry are presenting themselves with “an edge” rather than “wholesome correctness” ( or whatever Hyacinth would call it. Class I guess).

Impossible to have pony tail level with the chin - who said it - good god it would be nape of neck and down your back
let people choose just ridiculous stereotypes and prejudice

I thought that too! But she then explained what she meant .

I know right?! Yet here we are still reading it....

Love a high pony, and a mid pony. Only ponytail I'm not a fan of it the low pony. I associate it with very sloaney girls wearing velvet alice bands and lace ruffley collars in the 1980s. As a kids in the 1980s I also loved a side pony. What happened to them?

Only in this class-obsessed island could this ever be a thing!!

Meanwhile I've been fascinated by Amy's hairstyle in the video for Going Under for over 20 years. I can't get my ponytails that high! I remember trying (and failing) to do my hair like that when I was a teenager. I also liked the pineapple hairstyle when I was in primary school, my mum did it for me and I thought it was cool. 😁

I wonder if part of the reason for Ariana Grande’s high ponytail is that, without it, she isn’t spotted so often.

Make up and high ponytail (with hair extensions clipped in, I’m sure) = performing

No / less make up and hair down = doing whatever she does the rest of the time.

A bit like the Royal children wear sailor suits for formal occasions and Boden / Fat Face when they are not on show.

Well it’s definitely an attention-seeking style and I think therein lies the objection to it by those who find it a bit of a failure to “ read the room” ( without necessarily fully factoring in that the room they have in mind is a Home Counties drawing room).

There are all sorts of groups of people who can be identified by offensive words or descriptions by those enjoy this sort of lazy, supercilious pigeonholing. That doesn't mean it's fine to use those words or descriptions.