Date wanted me to buy her coke

[MixtapeEssential]

I went on a second date with a woman, the first date had been good, no issues at all.

We arranged to go for a drink, she insisted on buying me a beer since I had picked up the the tab on our first date.

All was going well, we had a couple of afternoon drinks and strolled around chatting. After a little while, my date said she was hungry and shall we stop for something to eat. I told her I didn’t want to spoil my dinner but was happy to order a little starter and sit with her while she ate.

She picked a very smart place. While we were were waiting for our table, she told me she didn’t have any money but was it alright to sit and eat at the window table. I was a little suprised and put on the spot. I may have been alright with that at one point in time, but I was currently short on funds myself.

I told her quietly and discreetly let’s go for a walk, and explained that I had dinner waiting for me and preferred to eat there due to being short on funds, but that I knew a very good quality tasty food truck close by where she could pick up something. She declined.

We continued chatting nicely and strolling for a few minutes, at which point she sat down on a bench and asked me if I wanted to do some “gear”. I told her I wasn’t into that but she was welcome to if she really felt like it.
She got her phone out and began texting her “connection”, asking if that was alright. I told her sure, but I thought she didn’t have any money. She quietly put her phone away looking disappointed.

At this point I just wanted to go home, and told her so, she appeared very excited and said she wanted to come with me, I told her that wasn’t possible.

On the way to the station, we passed a really buzzing place and she wanted to go in for a quick drink.
Being thirsty myself at this point, I agreed, we waited at the door to be let in, at which point, she again said, but I have no money.

I hugged her goodbye and left.

Was I being unreasonable? Is this all quite common now? I have been out of the dating game for a while.

She was otherwise very nice, very attractive, and didn’t look like a drug addict at all, I know that lots of people use coke recreationally without being addicts.

I’m a woman.

I did buy her dinner and drinks our first date, I can’t afford to do that with any regularity.

I was aware she had travelled to me which is why I didn’t accept more than beer from her, and only then because she insisted.

She told me she has never had children, but who knows at this point.

As for hairdressers, she was very casually presented and did not appear to be the hair salon and nail parlour type.

I'd be interested to see the other thread too, to see if there's any link to the woman the OP went on a date with.

Sounds more than dodgy if you ask me OP, the fact that she has no money but had a hotel room etc. who goes on a date with no money?

Sounds either like she was trying to get money out of you, or something deeper. Especially with her being local and having a hotel room. Was she hoping for a massive bender or something?

Do you have her socials? Have a look on her Instagram..

Dodged a bullet for sure!

This reads like a long con. I bet she's on the apps to target people for money.

Nothing good can come of seeing her again.

No, she’s homeless and possibly hooking to pay for her coke habit

With the unnecessary hotel room, this is sounding more and more dodgy by the minute - I’d be thinking county lines or escort. Either way, run a mile.

No, you were very right to leave. I’d block her number now.

Also: she lives an hour away but has a dealer in your town as well as in her own? Dodgy dodgy dodgy

Was I being unreasonable? Is this all quite common now?

I don't know whether to 🤣 or 🙄 at this question.

Sorry just saw your a woman and not a man, would like to change my vote to yanbu.

I'm wondering if she was an escort operating on a dating app and was hoping that you would buy her drugs and pay for sex?

Whilst someone using a bit of recreationals now and again wouldn’t bother me personally, her attitude seriously would! Just expecting you to pay for everything, including her coke (!!!) is a serious WTAF??! She honestly sounds very odd. Lots of people dabble without being weird like this. As I say, the dabbling wouldn’t bother me as long as it was only dabbling, but the expectation that you were going to pay for it and her drinks and food is absolutely mental! Dodged a bullet indeed!!!

So it's ok for a woman to do this to a man but not to another woman?

There are many of these on the dating sites.

They get a free meal and drugs - it’s a great day for them.

Usually these women target men, hoping that they’ll get sex by the end of it.

It’s literally like prostitution but they’re not having to exchange sexual acts for money, they can just exchange their time for money/drugs.

I’m sorry this was your experience but I’m glad you had it as it will make you more aware now.

Yikes! Is this a thing? God I feel grateful to be too old for all of this!!!!

Yes weird post.

Even weirder that it's their first post on this thread, as far as I can see

This is typical mumsnet where posters base their replies/opinions based solely on the sex of the poster.

How can an OP get unbiased opinions if posters completely change their minds based on the sex of the person.

Just curious as to why the OP being female changes your vote? Genuine polite question not being goady.

Good point!!

Yeah. No gender pay gap, no assumed misogyny to make reparations for, similar expected outlay on appearance/gym/ maintenance, no expectation that one party will halt their career should the relationship become serious, no need for either to impress the other by paying at the start of a relationship, women spiritually and emotionally can not be tight and a woman not paying her way or only paying her way but not covering her dates costs is not an indication of tightness/meanness in the same way it would be for a man.

What?? What difference does gender make?

No need to be polite tbf.

I was being sarcastic/goady/a twat (depending on your POV) for a bit of divilment

Is this sarcasm? I can only assume it is?

She said she used to live in my town years ago, she did seem to know it like the back of her hand.

She's just scummy. What stopped you just walking off when she said she was going to text a drug dealer? Why did you engage any further with her?

Absolutely not unreasonable of you. I would run a mile from this situation.