Who should be denied cheap flight set up?

[Wayda]

My younger brother is a pilot. For 5+ years I have been lucky enough to get access to very discounted cheap flights. Appreciate that. Has helped my child and I experience many things we simply would not be able to otherwise (single mum). My brother recently mentioned that I along with our other brother need to figure out who will keep the cheap flights. Pilot brother has 5 spots which he can divvy out. He has recently become serious with a girlfriend who he wants to give the discount to.

My brother (not the pilot) is on a far higher salary than me and does not have kids. Yes, he travels more than me but that is due to him having the time to do so. This brother also loaned my younger brother some money to live off whilst training so I think feels entitled to the discounts. He probably earns £80k. Anyway, when we met at the weekend he told me “you had a good run”! The cheek! Assuming I should give up my spot.

Parents witnessed this and did not say anything about their spots. If I were them I would try and help out a single mother. I know it may seem entitled but I’m more hurt by the lack of consideration.

AIBU?

Is it possible to book the flights with the discount and then pay the fee for a name change on the ticket? So, whoever gets the discount could book flights for whoever doesn’t and then you change the name on the ticket later on?

They’re not your tickets. If I was your brother, and heard how you felt you were entitled to them, then I wouldn't be giving you any and gf will be having several nice holidays this year.

If you’ve been getting four tickets a year, have you had two holidays per year? That’s more than people. Appreciate what you’ve had in the past, and appreciate you’ll have to make different plans going forward.

In my life this would be a solid no. My mum and dad raised me and continue to support me, my siblings didn't. Mum and dad get the perk 100%. Brother helped me with my training from which I got the perk in the first place? He gets a full time pass. Sister has a kid? She gets a full time pass. Her child she made the decision to bring into the world? He doesn't get a pass because there aren't enough to go around. Girlfriend obviously gets a pass, barely needs to be said. Sister (OP) still gets a net discount. She doesn't need to go to the Philippines and Mozambique, surely she can go to cheaper destinations and enjoy the discount she gets which most other single mums won't ever get? Costs under 100 to go to the majority of European countries. Sounds like she's got a taste of luxury and now doesn't fancy the lowly Spain's or Greece's. It's really not that expensive to fly away if it's such an important part of bonding with your kid. 2 people, 200 for a return. I wonder if OP has ever done any large favours for her brother like her other brother has?

Wow. You chose to be a mum. It’s not either of your brothers’ faults that you are a single parent. One brother helps the other to become a pilot, but gets nothing in return? Your ‘wealthy’ brother has clearly made good choices, so that excludes him from a discount? Just wow.

My dh and I were always careful with our money and bringing up our children, scrimped to get by by to allow some savings for small holidays, dh sister was the opposite - wasted her money constantly, takeaways 5 nights per week, was never careful with anything. So because she never had any money, her mum and dad helped her out constantly, whereas my husband and our family never got anything from them, because we ‘don’t need it’. So while we holidayed in the UK camping, odd holiday abroad, his sister jetted off to exotic places every year! How this made my blood boil.

So just because your brother can ‘afford’ to lose the discount, why should he? He’s worked hard to be where he is. Why not make it fair as oppose to who deserves it the most?

Could you not offer to have a slot each? So you pay full price for your child for example and discount for you?

But if you can’t do this then the other solution is pretty obvious. You keep one slot, your younger brother keeps his spot and you pay for your kid. You chose to have a kid.

But start preparing to lose your slots completely, your pilot brother has a partner now and may have kids etc in the future. They are his, not yours, and he can take them away just like that.

You’ll just have to hope he splits up with his girlfriend and never has kids!

if your brother uses his discount multiple times and you and your DC only go once for example then this might make sense - give up both yours and DC discounts to your brother and for him to be able to take his partner/friend at a huge saving. They could then pay for flights for your one holiday while still saving more than they would otherwise.

Brother has 1 slot, you have 1 slot (not 2). That's the most obvious and fair solution.

As someone who is in the industry, it's pretty obvious to me your older brother shouldn't be losing his travel benefits in this scenario. He uses them more, and (unless this is an unusual airline) they will not be easily available during school holiday periods and so in reality someone without (school age - assuming from the 5 years) children is inevitably going to get much more use out of the benefit. As is a person who is travelling solo and so only needs one seat on the plane not two.

If your child isn't yet at school, I would suggest to him that you alternate (why not try) but if he refuses I think the only fair way to do this is everyone gets one.

For those not in the industry saying she just gets a cheap ticket and buys her DD a full price one, it's not that simple in reality. The really cheap tickets are ID90 (standby) which means you don't know for sure you'll get on the plane until check in closes unless the flight is pretty empty (and see comment about peak travel above). If she has to buy her DD a full fare ticket it means she risks that ticket going to waste if there isn't a free seat on the flight for her. In reality this restricts her travel to only unpopular/out of season destinations.

I still think it's OP that should be losing one of her two tickets though. It's just if OP is in the last year of travel before being restricted to school holidays (not sure how old DD is just that OP has had this benefit for 5 years) I'd be using the point on standby to ask the older brother if she could have it for one last year, and then he gets it back.

Like this.

I was a nuse. Funnily enough, none of my siblings took up the offer of 5 free enemas per annum...

My first thought too. So depressing.

[Of course the airline involved might fly aircraft with particularly low loads which means that seats are guaranteed even on ID90, or allow cheaper than normal ID50 (confirmed staff tickets) with good availability]

Can't you do one discount each? Surely that is the best way? You still save substantially and so does he.

Good point. It sounds like alternating is the fair and practical way to do it then.

My DH is a pilot…you are both being entitled CFs if I’m honest and your brother who is the pilot should grow a backbone and decide who is on the list instead of throwing a grenade into his family and allowing you all to decide between yourselves.

My DH is generous with amending the names on his list if family want to fly with his airline, but why on earth should he be expected to just give it to someone if they want it!?

I think YABU. Your personal circumstances and his are irrelevant. It's neither's fault that you are a single mum.

I am assuming your child has one of the spots. In which case, I think it's fair that you and your brother get one each.

OP - given your pilot brother has left it to you, then the right thing to do is to say you’ll just take one pass and pay full price for the other seat. (Either you or your dc).

the brother who supported pilot brother and parents who raised him are the reasons these passes exist and they should get the use of them as long as they are available (obviously if pilot brother has dcs of his own they will get the passes, or if he changes jobs to one without passes).

you might be able to afford a full price holiday the least, but you are also the only one who’s not done anything to support the pilot brother to create this situation in the first place.

But those are your life choices. You chose to have a child. He chose to be single. He made choices that got him where he is financially (studying, training, investing, climbing the corporate ladder, however he did it), and you made choices that mean you are in a lesser financial situation.

Why should you be rewarded for your choices and why should he be penalized for his? Because that’s what you’re saying “I should get the tickets because I’m poorer than him”. Have you looked at ways to improve your salary? Aim up, not down.

If I were the pilot I’d give all 5 to the girlfriend. You were lucky he didn’t give them all to girlfriends and his mates beforehand. Which he absolutely could have done.

All three of you have grown up in the same household, with the same schooling, and opportunities (?)

Late 20s brother is earning 80k and was kind enough to help out his brother with money.
Early 20s brother is a qualified pilot.

OP is a single mother with low income (by the sounds of it). It is nice that you have had so much help from your brothers, but actually they don’t owe you anything for being a poor single mother.

Once your brothers have their own nuclear families the perks will go to their own spouse and children anyways, so you should get used living within your own means.

Lots of people don’t have the opportunity for cheap travel and have not been overseas. It is not something you should feel entitled to.

This is simple …. 5 discounts

1 - Parent 1
2 - Parent 2
3 - brother
4 - you
5 - GF (and pilot bro has been very generous allowing you to have a spot for your child until now - he prob shouldn’t have with hindsight)

You’ve chosen to have a child, your brother has chosen not to have children (so far). Doesn’t make you more entitled to have the discount cos he earns more.

Neither you nor wealthybrother have any overwhelmingly compelling reason for it to be you. You each have a mediocre reason. Wealthybrother was wrong to railroad you but you are wrong to think you obviously deserve it.

Find out if you can alternate year by year.

If you can't then one spot each (paying full price for whoever you are travelling with) is a reasonable compromise.

@DenimHiker

If I were the pilot I’d give all 5 to the girlfriend

I don’t think we’re talking five individual tickets, how it often works with these schemes is that the airline employee has the option to list a fixed number of nominees (in this case 5) who are then eligible for tickets at some sort of discount from a full fare.

You sound obnoxiously entitled.

Where is your child's father in all this? Stop playing the single mother card and maybe show some gratitude to your brother for all the years of discount he's already given you.

I hope he takes both off you.

Thing is take away the excuses or reasons.

Op wants two tickets
Bro wants One ticket

Bro can actually use the ticket more and make the most of its value, as well as only wanting one ticket.

Op wants two tickets to use, one or twice a year.

From a non emotional making the most of the work perk.

Bro is the better option. Which still leaves one free ticket for someone. Rather than two tickets sat being used once or twice a year.