Who should be denied cheap flight set up?

[Wayda]

My younger brother is a pilot. For 5+ years I have been lucky enough to get access to very discounted cheap flights. Appreciate that. Has helped my child and I experience many things we simply would not be able to otherwise (single mum). My brother recently mentioned that I along with our other brother need to figure out who will keep the cheap flights. Pilot brother has 5 spots which he can divvy out. He has recently become serious with a girlfriend who he wants to give the discount to.

My brother (not the pilot) is on a far higher salary than me and does not have kids. Yes, he travels more than me but that is due to him having the time to do so. This brother also loaned my younger brother some money to live off whilst training so I think feels entitled to the discounts. He probably earns £80k. Anyway, when we met at the weekend he told me “you had a good run”! The cheek! Assuming I should give up my spot.

Parents witnessed this and did not say anything about their spots. If I were them I would try and help out a single mother. I know it may seem entitled but I’m more hurt by the lack of consideration.

AIBU?

I mean it doesn’t sound very doable with a child full stop. Just waiting around hoping you can get on a flight, no accommodation booked because what if you can’t get the flight. Also kid being in school.

unless this child is under five then it’s even more hilarious that op makes it a big deal about special bonding time the kid won’t remember.

It’s not like this at all airlines.

Cannot wait for the inheritence aibu!

Aibu that my parents didn’t leave it all to me 😭😭😭 one brothers minted and single the other is a bloody pilot travelling the world with his pretty child free wife. Where as I’m a poor single mum to 2,568month old 😭😭😭 they are all such bastards they don’t need that money I deserve it all. My life is had.

😩😠😤

😄

OP your sense of entitlement is wild!! I’d be taking both tickets off you just for your purely selfishness!

@Mamma36474 she asked a direct question about whether people thought she was being unreasonable - the majority of people do think she is so i don't think it's mean for them to say she sounds a bit entitled, because i also agree that she does.

However, it's easy to have an opinion on this on the face of it but there's no background as to why they're all in the current financial/family positions they are. E.g. if as an example scenario she'd chosen to have a child young, even if she was still with the partner, they'd still likely be less financially well off than the brother who chose to focus on a career before family. Would that still make her more entitled to the pilot brother's discount?

On the same note, how do we know that the brother who lent pilot brother money for his training didn't miss out on other opportunities earlier in life because HE didn't have HIS money at his disposal because he'd lent it to his brother?

I certainly don't think it's selfish for her wealthier brother to not offer to absorb the cost like you commented - he's part of the reason Pilot brother was able to become a pilot and get the discount in the first place?

Your husband's airline is unusual. Most only allow ID90 or ID50. ID50s are confirmed but not available (or more accurately not confirmable) on peak flights - as I said different airlines load flights differently but the ones I deal with you'd be very lucky to get ID50 confirmed both ways to a destination you'd actually want to go to over the school holidays. Because the discount is based on the IATA rate, outside of peak they're often not that great a deal. Usually just about cheaper but often not materially so to accept playing around to get availablity. I've often found confirmed ID50 more expensive than revenue on a budget carrier.

We honestly barely use our flight benefits now. Getting ID50 both ways is next to impossible and given the age of kids and that DH has a job that can't be done remotely, the stress of not having certainty you will be allowed on the flight home isn't worth it for us. That said for various reasons we're low on the priority list - vast majority of staff would get on the flight ahead of us. Obviously if you have major senority so know you'll be that there is a seat you get it it changes things a bit.

I'm airline staff and never use my staff travel, even the bookable ones as it's still essentially stand by and that doesn't work in school holidays. Consequently all my spaces are free (I don't get 5 though, different airline). We can change them every 3 months, I imagine most airlines allow changes once a year as a minimum. Sharing seems the best option.

@bunnypenny

It’s not like this at all airlines.

Yep, different places, different schemes, for example at some an unlimited number of discounted standbys, verses at some others maybe a limited number of less discounted but firmer/firm/guaranteed tickets verses a mix.

I have to say the BA system for standby could be particularly unfriendly, especially for families, especially at the bigger airports such as Heathrow where you could well get held landslide until flight closure (STD-45) and only then, if you had got seats, it was a mad dash to beat conformance (STD-35 ish) and get family, belongings, cuddly toys etc through security and then get to the gate……….

Do you and your child count as two spots or do both of you count as one spot? Sorry if this is a silly question!

If you are two spots then surely losing the spot for your child would mean you still get a cheaper holiday overall.

Your brother is saying that he helped get you other brother the licence so he has priority. I can see where he is coming from. I also wondered if your brother travels more frequently so will get more use out of the discount?

how about your parents do they travel a lot? Could they give up a slot thereby also still getting cheaper travel?

This is the fairest solution.

Great minds 😂

If I was your brother (non-pilot) I would care about my DSis and her DC enough to want them to have an opportunity I already had myself.

So you could keep one spot, your brother keeps one spot, your parents keep their two and the girlfriend gets a spot. That way you only have to pay for your child? One spot per sibling seems fair to me. And if your brother were to get a partner (which I’m sure he will at some point) the arrangement would remain and you’d both have a spot each and have to pay for the extra person? I don’t see the problem.

@notimagain Agreed about BA - my brothers gf is cabin crew and it sounds stressful enough when she's just trying to get him on a flight and that's with no kids in Tow!

I think it's difficult for people to make fair judgement as she hasn't said much at all about how the discount works and ability to make use of it.

You are greedy, being a single Mother has nothing to do with this, it's your choice. Your brother is right you have had a good run, now its his turn. You are so entitled.
I have a daughter who is a working single Mother, she would never be this expecting and grabby. If she was I would think I had done a bad job as a parent.
You are being very unreasonable it is not all about you and your child, and you should not be expecting this.

How many holidays do you take a year because of these cheap flights?

I know, I don't understand the people acting like op is being entitled 🤷

But if only one benefiting means OP won't be able to afford to travel anyway, then it basically is.

i think there’s a really obvious solution you’re missing.

there’s 5 spots. So far it has been shared out as:
1.mother
2.father
3.brother
4.you
5.your child

now a 6th person, the girlfriend has also taken a spot. But technically your household still has 2 spots. Why can’t you compromise with the following:

1.mother
2.father
3.brother
4.girlfriend
5.you OR your child

yes, you will no longer have the full discount but your household will still benefit from a discount. Children’s fees tend to be lower, so maybe you can still afford some holidays by paying for your child and using the discount on your fees. This is a compromise because the others still also get to benefit from the discount, that NONE of you are entitled to.

And other brother could live without it too. But he won't have to anyway.

I just can't imagine being him and not graciously giving my spot up.

If the other brother travels more regularly and is using the discount on full priced adult flights, he's getting much more value out of it.

If he wanted to help the OP out he could offer her a bit of money to make up for her losing the discount for her child. Or the parents could. This would probably make more financial sense.

But none of them are obliged to do any such thing and the OP is being a CF.

Why didn't you just tell your brother that then?

If it's free 2 tickets 5 times a year, his gf gets it 2 times, you get 1 and other bro get 1.

As if that's so cheap!!