Page 10 | Who should be denied cheap flight set up?

Wayda · 2024-06-20T11:54:09+00:00

My younger brother is a pilot. For 5+ years I have been lucky enough to get access to very discounted cheap flights. Appreciate that. Has helped my child and I experience many things we simply would not be able to otherwise (single mum). My brother recently mentioned that I along with our other brother need to figure out who will keep the cheap flights. Pilot brother has 5 spots which he can divvy out. He has recently become serious with a girlfriend who he wants to give the discount to. My brother (not the pilot) is on a far higher salary than me and does not have kids. Yes, he travels more than me but that is due to him having the time to do so. This brother also loaned my younger brother some money to live off whilst training so I think feels entitled to the discounts. He probably earns £80k. Anyway, when we met at the weekend he told me “you had a good run”! The cheek! Assuming I should give up my spot. Parents witnessed this and did not say anything about their spots. If I were them I would try and help out a single mother. I know it may seem entitled but I’m more hurt by the lack of consideration. AIBU?

Ttcagainnow · 20/06/2024 15:25

You're being ridiculous! The fairest thing to do is you and your brother take 1 spot each and you pay full price for your child.

Mainoo72 · 20/06/2024 15:26

Having a child & a low paying job doesn’t make you more worthy. I’d give it to the older brother due to your entitled attitude.

pinkyredrose · 20/06/2024 15:30

Why do you keep mentioning being a single mother as though that makes you more deserving?

Your younger brother wouldn't be a pilot without your other brothers help.

Try and alternate yrs if you can.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 20/06/2024 15:30

For me you should count yourself lucky you've got free flights regardless.

I used to work with an ex-colleague, where we got 25 days holiday plus an extra 1-2 weeks at Christmas and Easter. Ex colleague was a bit of a bitch.

Her cousin was a BA flight attendant and for a few years they both jetted off to exotic places and colleague of course got the freebie flight. She did seem to like rubbing it in people's faces though (small office), where she could stay/go for peanuts and of course it was always lavish, 5 star and they'd be there sipping champagne, she showed me the photos.

One year after the Christmas break and New Year I came back to work and was surprised to find colleague still there, she'd been expected to go to Thailand or Dubai again that month in January. She had a face like thunder and would barely speak to me. I did say to her "oh I thought you were off to XXX with Tara or have I got the dates wrong?" She eventually spat out that her cousin had a new boyfriend (who she went on to marry) and he was going with her, not her. Colleague was a married mother of 5 children though her DC was only DF to the youngest and the rest were grown ups. Couldn't help smirking a bit to myself there for a sec...

MzHz · 20/06/2024 15:31

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:08

But my other brother is in his late 20s, no kids, no partner. And earns more than me.

I spend a lot of time out of the house to provide for my child and those cheap holidays are precious as they allow us to reconnect.

Brother would be able to absorb the lack of discount, I won’t. He can still go away often regardless. For me the discount is make or break.

Well, if you have a discounted flight for you/your kid and have to pay a full fare elsewhere, cut your loth accordingly, it's a LOT more help than the rest of us single parent get and you CAN take holidays with your child 'to connect' any time you like, you just travel less.

Stop the envy.

BrownTroutBluesAgain · 20/06/2024 15:35

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:08

But my other brother is in his late 20s, no kids, no partner. And earns more than me.

I spend a lot of time out of the house to provide for my child and those cheap holidays are precious as they allow us to reconnect.

Brother would be able to absorb the lack of discount, I won’t. He can still go away often regardless. For me the discount is make or break.

Not really.
You can go on holiday without having to fly anywhere.
Its all about sharing and you don’t seem to want to.

HateentitledCFs · 20/06/2024 15:36

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kitsuneghost · 20/06/2024 15:37

I was going to say brother as he travels more and helped out DB to get qualifications and hence job that allows the discount

But now I see you are hogging 2 spots I think you should at least give your brother 1 and pay for your child

Beezknees · 20/06/2024 15:38

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I think OP is being entitled but your post is gross and I've reported it. "Spread your legs?" Vile.

Hoppy1985 · 20/06/2024 15:39

Beezknees · 20/06/2024 15:38

I think OP is being entitled but your post is gross and I've reported it. "Spread your legs?" Vile.

Show quote history

Agreed, horrid post.

theowlwhisperer · 20/06/2024 15:41

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:21

Okay I know this is a first world problem and I’ve been lucky so far re cheap holidays.

But is no one picking up on the fact that my pilot brother told my brother and I to figure out things between ourselves and let him know. But my brother just railroaded me? No discussion.

Are you even grateful to you pilot brother, and have you ever thanked him at all?

If your other brother helped out the pilot, he can't be such a bad guy, is there a tiny possibility he's bored of hearing the "I am a single mother, everybody needs to help me"?

In one OP, you expect 3 people, your brother and sibling, to give up their spots for you and your child!

You can find cheap holidays without your brother's help, and start earning the price of "experience". It would be pretty shitty for the pilot to say to your other brother, thanks for helping me out, but now I am giving away stuff to "the single mother".

Crumpleton · 20/06/2024 15:41

Has helped my child and I experience many things we simply would not be able to otherwise (single mum

Non lone parent here....
You're very fortunate to be able to go abroad with your DC but Just so you know many two parent families can barely stretch to a week at a camping site for their DC...So it's not a lone (single) parent lack of money only issue.

It's good to read that your DB has help you and your DC to have these experiences, sounds like you appreciated it, but as said it's time to start contributing towards your DC flights in future or maybe ask your parents if they'd like to hand over one of their spaces to help you out instead of expecting you other DB to forgo his.

OuijaBoard · 20/06/2024 15:41

So stop Little Bro from "railroading" you.

Pilot Bro has every right to decide who gets the slots, but his decision was that you and Little Bro decide who loses out among Little Bro, you, and your child. You haven't finished deciding yet as Little Bro has given his preference but yours has not been considered.

Tell Little Bro that the discussion isn't finished, and tell Pilot Bro that the two of you are still deciding. But I'm not understanding what "decision" Little Bro thinks has been made - if he's saying that you lose one of your two slots to the girlfriend while Little Bro keeps his, have you checked to see if it can actually work for you to keep your slot and use children's rates for your child (not sure of his age)?

Also, I think a lot of the replies are missing the fact that Little Bro has ALSO had this benefit the full time you and your son have, rather than you would be giving yours up to "let him have a turn". In that context, his comment that you've "had a good run" is incredibly patronising and pretty hypocritical.

bunnypenny · 20/06/2024 15:44

backinthebox · 20/06/2024 15:09

Just worth pointing out that there are a lot of people here who do not understand how staff travel perks work. You travel on standby, getting the last seats left over after all the fare paying passengers. This means you often have to tiptoe very carefully through the minefield that is selecting a flight and destination you actually think you will be able to get to. In the peak seasons, flights are often full, meaning standby passengers are left behind. In my airline we offer jumpseats (the spare cabin crew seats by the doors) to staff passengers, but the captain retains authority over who gets these and there are a lot of different ways they can be dished out. Usually Clingons (family members travelling with an operating crew member,) then pilots, cabin crew, their immediate family, then everyone else in seniority order. You cannot put someone on a jumpseat who does not know how to behave, and who would not be willing to help in an evacuation, so for this reason children are usually not put on jumpseats.

Travelling with children adds a whole extra level of stress into it, as often you will be bumped off a peak times flight or asked if you are willing to sit separately from each other. My children have sat in other parts of the plane from me from a fairly young age, they do not know any different. Children not used to this concept could find it very hard to accept. We’ve even split between flights before, with DH going ahead, or being left behind, or me being left behind. We’ve had flights where DH and one DC went on one flight and me and the other DC travelled on a different flight, sometimes catching up on a later flight at the same airport, or travelling into 2 different airports close together (eg Milan Linate and Milan Malpensa.)

The plus side is we can afford to travel all over, frequently, if we are prepared to play the game, and often we travel in nice seats (business class all the way to Australia!) It is a benefit to me because I can take family with me when I am working away over school holidays, birthdays, etc.

It’s really not a good perk for family travelling on standby when they don’t understand all the possible restrictions and ways of getting through the airport quickly and easily. I put my mother on a long haul standby flight once which I was not travelling with her on, and she was put on a jumpseat (at my request) and she really struggled with the jumpseat itself and with the stress of not knowing which flight she was travelling on.

For the person suggesting you put one person on your staff travel and then book the tickets for them but then try and change the name on the ticket - that is Staff Travel abuse and a fast track to being fired!

Not so at my husband’s airline. Yes you can buy standby but you can also buy significantly discounted travel tickets.

MissMoneyFairy · 20/06/2024 15:44

2 to parents
1 to girlfriend
1 to you
1 to brother

Mamma36474 · 20/06/2024 15:44

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:21

Okay I know this is a first world problem and I’ve been lucky so far re cheap holidays.

But is no one picking up on the fact that my pilot brother told my brother and I to figure out things between ourselves and let him know. But my brother just railroaded me? No discussion.

I don't think it's fair that you and your richer brother were told to sort it out.

But if your pilot brother won't do it then suggest alternating years.

It's quite selfish of your richer brother not to absorb the cost when you can't afford a flights otherwise.

And I think the posters here who are saying you are being entitled are really mean! Seriously, put yourself in OP's shoes.

OhmygodDont · 20/06/2024 15:44

OuijaBoard · 20/06/2024 15:41

So stop Little Bro from "railroading" you.

Pilot Bro has every right to decide who gets the slots, but his decision was that you and Little Bro decide who loses out among Little Bro, you, and your child. You haven't finished deciding yet as Little Bro has given his preference but yours has not been considered.

Tell Little Bro that the discussion isn't finished, and tell Pilot Bro that the two of you are still deciding. But I'm not understanding what "decision" Little Bro thinks has been made - if he's saying that you lose one of your two slots to the girlfriend while Little Bro keeps his, have you checked to see if it can actually work for you to keep your slot and use children's rates for your child (not sure of his age)?

Also, I think a lot of the replies are missing the fact that Little Bro has ALSO had this benefit the full time you and your son have, rather than you would be giving yours up to "let him have a turn". In that context, his comment that you've "had a good run" is incredibly patronising and pretty hypocritical.

Edited

Did you miss the part where the brother helped him be able to become a pilot?

While op just what happened to be born and expects freebies 😅

viques · 20/06/2024 15:45

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:08

But my other brother is in his late 20s, no kids, no partner. And earns more than me.

I spend a lot of time out of the house to provide for my child and those cheap holidays are precious as they allow us to reconnect.

Brother would be able to absorb the lack of discount, I won’t. He can still go away often regardless. For me the discount is make or break.

Can you not “reconnect” with your child ( who I assume -since you don’t say otherwise- actually lives with you) by “reconnecting” somewhere that doesn’t require a flight first?

KTheGrey · 20/06/2024 15:47

backinthebox · 20/06/2024 15:09

Just worth pointing out that there are a lot of people here who do not understand how staff travel perks work. You travel on standby, getting the last seats left over after all the fare paying passengers. This means you often have to tiptoe very carefully through the minefield that is selecting a flight and destination you actually think you will be able to get to. In the peak seasons, flights are often full, meaning standby passengers are left behind. In my airline we offer jumpseats (the spare cabin crew seats by the doors) to staff passengers, but the captain retains authority over who gets these and there are a lot of different ways they can be dished out. Usually Clingons (family members travelling with an operating crew member,) then pilots, cabin crew, their immediate family, then everyone else in seniority order. You cannot put someone on a jumpseat who does not know how to behave, and who would not be willing to help in an evacuation, so for this reason children are usually not put on jumpseats.

Travelling with children adds a whole extra level of stress into it, as often you will be bumped off a peak times flight or asked if you are willing to sit separately from each other. My children have sat in other parts of the plane from me from a fairly young age, they do not know any different. Children not used to this concept could find it very hard to accept. We’ve even split between flights before, with DH going ahead, or being left behind, or me being left behind. We’ve had flights where DH and one DC went on one flight and me and the other DC travelled on a different flight, sometimes catching up on a later flight at the same airport, or travelling into 2 different airports close together (eg Milan Linate and Milan Malpensa.)

The plus side is we can afford to travel all over, frequently, if we are prepared to play the game, and often we travel in nice seats (business class all the way to Australia!) It is a benefit to me because I can take family with me when I am working away over school holidays, birthdays, etc.

It’s really not a good perk for family travelling on standby when they don’t understand all the possible restrictions and ways of getting through the airport quickly and easily. I put my mother on a long haul standby flight once which I was not travelling with her on, and she was put on a jumpseat (at my request) and she really struggled with the jumpseat itself and with the stress of not knowing which flight she was travelling on.

For the person suggesting you put one person on your staff travel and then book the tickets for them but then try and change the name on the ticket - that is Staff Travel abuse and a fast track to being fired!

Thank you, that's really helpful - I couldn't work out why the OP didn't just keep her flight and pay for her child, but thus makes it seem quite tricky, so I see it

It does seem like a setup where a single bloke will get much better value out of it than a single mother, in terms of savings on flights.

And I find her belief that either one of her parents or her brother or anybody should give up their ticket deal rather than herself or her child quite entertaining.

viques · 20/06/2024 15:47

MissMoneyFairy · 20/06/2024 15:44

2 to parents
1 to girlfriend
1 to you
1 to brother

Of course, if things get serious with the GF, the two spare slots could be given to her parents. Or her siblings.

Sorry, just stirring the pot here!

Funkyslippers · 20/06/2024 15:50

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:08

But my other brother is in his late 20s, no kids, no partner. And earns more than me.

I spend a lot of time out of the house to provide for my child and those cheap holidays are precious as they allow us to reconnect.

Brother would be able to absorb the lack of discount, I won’t. He can still go away often regardless. For me the discount is make or break.

There are plenty of other ways to 'reconnect ' with your child you know

Jc2001 · 20/06/2024 15:50

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:21

Okay I know this is a first world problem and I’ve been lucky so far re cheap holidays.

But is no one picking up on the fact that my pilot brother told my brother and I to figure out things between ourselves and let him know. But my brother just railroaded me? No discussion.

But to fair, you've had all the available flights for 5 years so maybe it is time he had a go.

Nookable · 20/06/2024 15:51

For people suggesting that OP use 1 discount spot and pay full price for her child that might not be an option.

My friend used to get really cheap flights through a relative that worked for BA but it was standby tickets so an exact flight was never guaranteed. It depended on if there was seats available on the day. I think the longest she ever had to wait in London was 24 hours.

Doable with adults who can take seperate flights but wouldn't work with a child.

MimiSunshine · 20/06/2024 15:52

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:21

Okay I know this is a first world problem and I’ve been lucky so far re cheap holidays.

But is no one picking up on the fact that my pilot brother told my brother and I to figure out things between ourselves and let him know. But my brother just railroaded me? No discussion.

I would have taken his comment as mainly a joke. Yes he’s somewhat serious but he can’t actually unilaterally decide it can he?! He was chancing his arm in the way that siblings do.

Also while he seems flush with cash, that doesn’t mean he is or that he feels it and not many people, rich or not turn down discounts on flights.

be may also not really have any clue about your finances, if he’s seen you going away a lot then regardless of how cheap the flights are he’ll assume you’ve got decent disposable income as you still have to pay for the rest of the holiday and I’m also guessing he probably has no idea of the costs associated with children.

so how about you talk to him, tell him that the only way you can have a holiday with your child and give them some lovely experiences is because of the pilot brothers discount and can you both share it (year on year off or something).

and yes he is owed some access to the discount if he essentially funded the pilot brothers ability to become one.

Gingerdancedbackwards · 20/06/2024 15:53

Lobelia123 · 20/06/2024 15:20

Then you need to speak up and stop hoping that brother will 'do the right thing'. Open your mouth and say everything youve posted here - that whil eyou hugely appreciate the privilege of travel and that its pilot brothers absolute prerogative to withdraw a ticket, youd just like to point out that the ticket means a lot to you - and that you would not be able to travel with your child without it. If you want your other brother to step up and see things from your perspective, you have to paint the picture. But also be prepared that he has a good laugh and says so what....but my point is, God helps those who help themsleves, so speak up and advocate for yourself, because it sounds like your brother and parents will blythely look the other way and try to railroad you whilst avoiding any discomofrt.

Are you the OP with a changed name??