Aibu for not wanting to discuss my mental health with health visitor?

[PinkCritic]

Name change as outing.

I have my Health Visitor coming as I'm struggling with getting the baby sleeping/I'm struggling with lack of sleep.

I was under the care of Perinatal mental health but discharged when baby was 4 months old.

The Health Visitor starts to say stuff about my mental health and sleep etc and I just think she's not qualified to. For example she says I should be on anti depressants, various reasons why they've not worked and I don't see how she's qualified to say anything other than say speak to your GP.

To be clear I've had long term support from Perinatal, not sure why they've discharged as I don't think my mental health is really stable but they have discharged back to GP to refer to another service.

Health visitor is a bit judgmental as she always thinks she knows best. For example I'm such a night owl and my night sleep at 2am and up at 9am is ny natural rhythm. I'm in bed at 10pm and still not sleeping etc. my natural rhythm is that time. She just thinks I need to go to bed earlier lol.

Anyway how do I handle her as I have to see her and no doubt it will be - take your fucking medication talk. You have post natal depression.

She probably has a lot more understanding than you think. I doubt she is saying things for a laugh... maybe she is talking sense?

Don't tell her anything

Do you have post natal depression though?

I don't see how post natal is any different than pre natal.... Lots of people have depression full stop

I need to know how to tell her to kindly don't comment on my mental health?

Health visitors are qualified nurses who have completed extra training. Part of the degree level training, includes maternal mental health. That’s the sensible answer but this is Mumsnet. Generally HVs are hated on here.

I would go and proactively see your GP and then she can tell her in response to all her questions that it’s something your GP is supporting you with.

She might not be qualified, but she may well have lots of experience. My HV recognised I had PND, and got me into see my GP very quickly. I just thought I was really tired and grumpy and not functioning properly.

She's not being judgemental. She's a trained health care professional and she is there to support you as much as baby.

My Gp is already supporting me.... So I don't need to proactively see them....

Ridiculously dangerous 'advice'

Yeah and they don't prescribe and when someone is under the care of specialist mental health teams why come for a 5 min appointment and make sweeping comments?

I was under the care of Perinatal when she said this..... So what do you expected me to do?

How so? She's not seeing me despite knowing about my mental health so why would I need her 5 second assessment when I was seeing Perinatal ?

Are you taking your meds?

You said she will tell you to do this?

I'm not going to reply to any more comments unless they are productive.

She's a health visitor for baby. She can sign post mums to their GPs and as I was already under the care of Perinatal than I don't need her input?

I think you are being unreasonable. A health visitor goes through training, she will have been taught things relating to her job, including looking after the welfare of both mother and baby. This includes spotting depression. There's no need to be rude to the woman.

You mean mental health medication?

None of your business, that's between myself and my doctors.

Is she now more qualified than a psychiatrist? That's what you are suggesting.

Also, have you taken your medication? You need to. Take it. Tired from baby. Tske your medication. Probably need some more. Higher dosage.

Not all anti depressants are the same and not everyone reacts the same way to them so "just take the pills" is terrible advice. If you're actively getting the help you need from your GP I think it's fine to say that to the HV.

I asked this very question to a mental health nurse. Post natal depression is considered more serious than normal depression. Depression in the post natal period is classed as post natal depression

I didn’t gel with my first health visitor some just rub you up the same way but she is just trying to help. She’s trained to spot warning signs and sign post you for help where necessary.

My health visitor was an amazing advocate for my mental health to get me help and was a great support. That IS part of their job.

I agree with @FuzzyStripes that you should see your GP and get some support.

Your baby is your HV’s priority and as you’re their primary carer, your MH is of great concern. She’s trying to ensure that you’re well enough to take care of your baby.

Just tell her that you are getting support from the perinatal team and that her input isn't needed.

Maternal mental health is very much the remit of HVs, not just the baby.