To report my neighbour for indecent exposure in his garden?

[jumbojumbo]

On regular occasions when I look out of my bedroom window at the back of my house, I have seen the elderly neighbour opposite standing fully naked in his back garden. Not only this but he is touching himself, and stands right by his back door clearly wanting people to see. It's absolutely disgusting, and bothering me quite a bit, especially since I have young children.

I have looked into indecent exposure but this seems to need to be in a public place, not sure whether since this is his own garden whether that would count?

Does anyone know if I can report this and whether anything is likely to be done about it?

This is really good, profiling shows these types of offences can escalate into more serious crimes.

Can you (and your children and neighbours )see him without making any effort to do so ? No standing on tiptoe to see over a fence/hedge or only seeing from upstairs ?. I'm just asking because if you can see his "performance" in the normal course of your day I'm pretty sure he is committing an offence and can't use the "in the privacy of my own garden" excuse. I think I might be tempted to plant some thorny shrubs where you're boundaries meet

This is pretty clear cut and he is offending public decency. We had similar but more of a grey area. When we moved into our house, we noticed that a man would sit in the adjacent courtyard right up against our wall looking into our kitchen window and garden. As the site was elevated, he had a unrestricted views. He did not own the courtyard and even installed a picnic table despite living at least 100 yds away. He sat looking at my daughters in their pool and they would become noticeably uneasy. He was always semi naked, tiny shorts, in all weathers.

We solved it by planting Leylandii hedging. He complained saying it was blocking his view of the Church. No, it was blocking his desired view of our garden.

My dd's took action and hosed him down. I was expecting a visit from a very irate creep. But no, not a peep out of him. Oh and he was a teacher at a nearby independent school and could observe my girls throughout school hols.

Don't talk to him op. Don't delay and call the Police.

Glad to see the witches of mumsnet are out in force.
Some of us read on the hop as are busy.
What happened to support you nasty bunch of people.

Exhibitionist. Worrying too that you have kids who could see him. Phone the police and they’ll tell him off hopefully.

It’s not hard to see all of OPs posts - it’s literally a feature and would’ve been quicker than typing a reply.

If the original post was started some hours ago, I suggest you click on "see all" in the bottom right of OP's opening post.

Then you can see any updates before you comment.

As for support - that's for the OP's surely, not other posters who don't read updates before posting.

Thanks for that, I literally usually do but was in a hurry and having been through a horrendous experience that gave me ptsd and fucked up my family I just typed quickly.
I hope you never go through trauma.
I literally do.
It isn't hard to just scroll by and I hope you troll everyone else who has replied without reading all the op posts and make yourself feel good for commenting.

The “I was standing by the window and my robe fell
open” is quite a common excuse. Indeed many offenders seem to have loose robes around women and children.…but not big blokes who might punch them. Funny that

What should the note say?

If he’s airing his tockly and being one with nature - all good

if he’s batting off - not good

Is he in a location where he could consider himself entitled to the right of privacy? If so, it doesn't matter if you can happen to see him, he has a right to privacy. I had this situation many years ago when having sex in an upstairs front bedroom but the bus stopped in traffic outside with people looking in.

And the police said it was fine but that maybe I should buy some net curtains!

He may have dementia

We live near a new estate, all the window look into each others. Some guy would do the exact same thing (naked having a wank) by the window and he was inside his house. He was prosecuted and did some jail time. Phone the police.

I was listening to something on radio 4 about how flashing isnt just nothing, it’s upsetting obviously, but also very often leads on to other worse behaviours and should be reported.

It really was shocking to listen to. The poor woman was clearly upset and embarrassed - I know Richmond Station, and the part where she was flashed at is far from where the station staff generally are.

The accusation was him 'flashing' her and exposing his penis to her while she was alone on the platform.

I don't see how the state of the flasher's penis mattered- He probably said he was taking a pee or something in defence...It was so bad.

Even our {Male} History and Civics teacher was surprised {we spoke about it after we left the Court.}

He may have.

But if you look at the numbers of dementia sufferers and compare it to the number of men who regularly harass women and girls, he’s statistically more likely to be a disgusting creep who is enjoying knowing that women are having to double check he’s not out there wanking before letting their DC walk past the window or play in their own gardens.

Time will tell I suppose. If he stops doing it now that the police have been round, I suspect that dementia is not the issue here.

It is disconcerting to be flashed at -one just thinks ''Urgh- Gross'' -but that's what the flashers supposedly want.

Our lovely English teacher {a woman} after hearing about the Richmond Magistrate's court case with the flasher {My post above} said that she was flashed while on the Tube, but had the presence of mind to say ''Put it away, dear, I've seen bigger''

But lovely Mrs F. was around middle age, very no nonsense, and had a natural authority in her voice.

Hopefully the flasher didn't get the response he was hoping for.

Very good point.

My betting is that he doesn't have dementia - but is a Common or garden

tosser

Because they are so far up their own arses they think that the advice they will give will be so the advice that will solve the problem and no one before them could have considered it.
It's rude. Its easy to click on OP posts only, but they don't as they are so very important.

Utterly appalling advice.Do NOT do this
The onus isn’t on @jumbojumbo to initiate discussion or explore motive
Report to police. Let them follow up

We’ve had the same problem with elderly next door but one neighbour.

He was parading around his garden naked, if clothed while people were outside in their gardens he’d go indoors to strip from waist down - in colder weather just the jumper would stay on 🤢 - then come back outside.

He’d stand on his raised door step (so genitals were above the fence height) and masturbate - whilst attempting to maintain eye contact with people out in their gardens….. terraced houses so can see into each others gardens and many of us started to avoid going outside, in order to avoid his masturbating.

He only ever flashed female neighbours (including 14 yr old girl living next door to him), if any men were outside his clothes would remain on.

He had social services assessment, MH & dementia assessments - no concerns raised in any. His actions towards female neighbours were entirely deliberate.

In the end a few of us reported him to Police via non-emergency number. And they took it very seriously - his masturbating was considered a sex crime by them because it was designed to cause distress to others, even though he was still within his own garden.

Police visited him on several occasions, told him to stop or he’d get arrested. He did stop for a few months and when he started doing it again, the Police were happy to come back and in that occasion did arrest him and held him overnight. That seemed to work as was 18months ago and we’ve not seen his wrinkly bits since 🥳

Call the police. They will know what he could be done for and will also be able to do a welfare check. You and especially your children, have a right NOT to see that. Also though, regardless of what your neighbour said, it is possible the man seems of sound mind, but isn't totally. If he is not well and is doing this, then those with a duty of care need to know. The police won't arrest him if it's not appropriate.