To have given her extra food?

[jerkorperk]

Last week I looked after a friend's DC for an afternoon as she is going somewhere her DC can't.

I offered. No problem there

She was given a packed lunch when her mum dropped her off. I said there was no need but her mum just said 'oh no, honestly, it's fine'

Assuming fussy eater etc I didn't question it and just let her have her packed lunch. We had some lunch alongside her

She had finished what she had and asked if she could try what I was eating. I said no problem, of course. And gave her a plate. I said eat what you like and don't worry about leaving what you don't

She ate it all. And for all of us afterwards, I had a cake. It was a red velvet cake from Costco. It is really yum and a nice treat

She had a slice and then another slice because she enjoyed it. She left a bit of the additional slice. Again, a non issue

I got a harshly worded text from her mum that said 'Hi, Y said you gave her additional food after her lunch provided. In addition to this, she had gorged on a lot of cake too? Please in future can you stick to what I provide'

AIBU to think what's the big issue? Have I overstepped some mark I didn't know about The little girl is 7. My own daughter is 2

Could the child be diabetic and her lunch was calculated for how much insulin she needed? My daughters friend was diagnosed with diabetes last year, and I would have never given it a thought before.

Respond with : Your DC was still hungry after her packed lunch and as it didn’t look like she ate much, I didn’t think it a problem to share with her as she’d asked. In future, may be best I don’t offer to help as I don’t want to keep a child hungry when I’m eating as it seems a little cruel.

No, absolutely not. The parent would absolutely have informed OP if the child was diabetic and they would have had to inject insulin before they ate based on the carbs consumption. Anything else is unthinkable because it’s life threatening.

Maybe a very small minority of 7yos

I'd just respond with something like:

Been busy with DD. Your DD said she was hungry and asked for more food, so I gave it to her. Is there an issue I should have been made aware of? Don't worry about 'the future'.

I’d be wondering why the child wanted to eat so much food. Only children I’ve come across who’d eat so much food in a small space of time were kids who thought they had to eat before the food disappeared and no more might appear.
As a one off why would the mum react like that?

My 2 year old could demolish that and still be hungry some days.

Some days she isn't interested in food, and others she's like a bottomless pit.

Kids have growth spurts and they're often hungry during them. They use a lot of energy running around like loons. There's nothing wrong with letting them eat intuitively (i.e. eat when they're hungry).

No; actually I have a child who has an easing disorder who doesn't ever feel full and will absolutely eat 3/4 meals in one sitting if he's allowed!
So yes if I say to someone "you don't need to worry about food I'll send him with a packed lunch" it means don't feed him I've sent him with food!
I don't expect to have to explain that to everyone, and in fact I never have explained it to anyone who has babysat him, and none of them have given him anything extra.

She’s probably just annoyed as her daughter threw up when she got home after eating all that cake. She is allowed to be annoyed about that. Who wants to be cleaning up sick?

At what point did she mention any sick?

sounds like the mother has food issues. ignore and don't bother providing childcare again

@Ottervision

she didnt. But it could easily have happened and that’s why she’s annoyed 🤷‍♀️

I mean, you'd probably mention your child was sick in your already rude message if that was the case. Would be very odd to leave out the very reason for the message.

If a child has any medical issues then you tell the adults you have chosen to look after them in case there is an emergency.

My DD is the same at 5 and I know other children who are now adults are the same at various ages.

In fact some of them who were small/average height for their ages suddenly were hungry all the time from about age 8. As adults the girls are now nearly 6ft and the boys are over that.

@Ottervision

who knows?! Or maybe she just felt ill. I’m just surmising but I wouldn’t be surprised if she felt sick or was sick after a packed lunch, a full meal followed by two slices of Costco cake - I know I definitely would!! 🤢

I look after my friends/families children often. You’re “For future reference” comment tells me I would never look after your child and I would most definitely judge you!

Do you mean the OP's?

I think I would have been inclined to reply:

I have no response as words fail me. There will be no “in future”. Despite the fact your DD was a pleasure to look after and we enjoyed sharing our home, food and company, I will never help you again.

Sounds like shes setting her daughter up to have a very unhealthy attitude to food. If shes genuinely underfeeding her or being ridiculously restrictive the danger is as soon as the child has access to food or money independently she will go so far the other way. Not good.

Give It a res fun police, it was one afternoon of a little indulgence from someone doing a favour for friend! If the wee lassie had any food issues or intolerance you can bet your sweet life her mother would have let anyone taking care of her know about it beforehand esp when she had provided a packed lunch. The reaction on here is incredible, heaven forbid - two slices of cake, two slices - clutches pearls!
Do you all know how big or thick the actual slices were or even note that she didn't finish the second bit ? Obviously not.

I can see this thread getting deleted soon it's already on Facebook so next stop daily mail eh ?

Yea . You did your best 👌

How do you know what size slice OP gave her?!

OP she's bloody ungrateful. I'd be delighted if my child enjoyed themselves at someone else's house and ate well as a one off.

If the child was diabetic it was grossly irresponsible for her mother not to inform op and guide her through that side of her care.

“oh sorry I didn’t realise you were waiting.

If a child ask me for more food I’m going to provide it. If this upsets your child care plans, perhaps we will just stick to play dates in the future.’

Honestly she’s actually unhinged. Yes I would be very blunt with this person. I can see that you don’t want to but what choice is there. “Ok, send her more food next time then.” ?